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Nice but dumb. If they are not nice how would I want to spend time with them? I could always teach them certain things unless they are that far gone. I have no patience for abrasive people or egomaniacs.
'Nice' people often aren't really all that nice. Nice is often more of a facade. I'd prefer the less polished person who is more intelligent, but acts more on a basis of logic and perhaps more intentionally kind.
I wonder what type of society we live in where we automatically assume that if anyone acts nice and kind it's an act put on to get something from someone.
This may be a shock to some but yes a person can be a genuinely nice person with no ulterior motives but because it's who they are.
Honestly, this is a very loaded question. There is no inverse correlation between how intelligent someone is and how personable, nice and warm. If a person really is that intelligent then they should know that there jerky behavior is a choice that they've made and they could just as easily choose to be humble and respectful but if I must choose I would rather choose the nice person.
In general after growing up with such toxic people in my childhood I'd rather not voluntarily invite such negativity in my social circle.
I wonder what type of society we live in where we automatically assume that if anyone acts nice and kind it's an act put on to get something from someone
I hear you! My first instinct is to be friendly and polite (though I can certainly bite back and stand up for myself if needed) and I was called fake a few times for being 'too nice'. Google search the term is being nice fake, or is being polite fake. You'll get a ton of people saying its so. So now I just dial back on my friendliness and niceness. But the irony of this, is that if my natural inclination is to be friendly.....now am I being fake in order to appear more geniune? It makes my head hurt.
Anyway, to answer the OP. Mean people don't really turn me on, so in a purely friendship scenario, I'd pass on the company of the mean smart person.
I wonder what type of society we live in where we automatically assume that if anyone acts nice and kind it's an act put on to get something from someone.
This may be a shock to some but yes a person can be a genuinely nice person with no ulterior motives but because it's who they are.
Honestly, this is a very loaded question. There is no inverse correlation between how intelligent someone is and how personable, nice and warm. If a person really is that intelligent then they should know that there jerky behavior is a choice that they've made and they could just as easily choose to be humble and respectful but if I must choose I would rather choose the nice person.
In general after growing up with such toxic people in my childhood I'd rather not voluntarily invite such negativity in my social circle.
I don't disagree that someone can be genuinely nice with no ulterior motives. Genuine niceness does not seem as common as it once was. I've seen too much fake 'nice' from people who want something from me. Given the option, I'd choose the known over the unknown.
Common sense and intelligence aren't necessarily one and the same. Some of the dumbest people I ever met were college educated. The intelligent people I tend to like are those who tend to follow a logical flow of thought. They aren't always the most socially graceful and that may make them seem harsh or abrupt. If you look beyond that and look at their overall behavior, they are good people who do try to treat others as they would like to be treated.
For this thread, we only got to choose, one person. In real life, there is a chance that I would be friends with both.
Depends on how you define nice. Doormat nice? Or just someone whose first approach is always based on kindness?
I cannot abide intelligent people who are not kind. They know better and CHOOSE to be unkind.
I have a friend who has some mild brain damage and her cognitive abilities are not that great, but she does have a weirdly creative kind of intelligence and a very light-hearted sense of humor that can be biting when you least expect it. She is one of the most well-intentioned people I know, and you can't NOT love her. She was one of the first people to teach me (just by being her) how intelligence is something that can be defined many ways. She almost died in an accident a few years back, and it was interesting to see how many people rallied around her.
I have a best friend who is brilliant, and very abrasive. She is not "nice" in the traditional sense - she intimidates the hell out of people. But she's terribly moral. She is never cruel and she is never abusive. She's just not all warm and fuzzy and has a mouth like a sailor. She's had my back through everything, and is happy to help out friends who have fallen into personal difficulties. No one would ever use the word nice to describe her, but no one would ever use the word "unkind" either.
It's the unkind people - no matter how smart or dumb they are - whom I can't tolerate.
She intimidates the hell out of people and is abrasive, but is never abusive? What a fine line to walk. Maybe I am not getting something, but certainly glad to hear she has had your back! She is one of those people someone just needs to meet I suppose, because descriptions would seem contradictory. If it works for you, that is what counts.
As to the OP's question, if a person is nice, that helps. From there I can gently try to correct them when they don't use common sense. Sounds like a friend of mine that decided to take a "short" bike ride thirty minutes before a group of us had dinner reservations. Then we were late, lost the reservation and waited another 30 minutes to be seated. I tried talking him out of the ride, but he went anyways. There are worse things that could happen I suppose.
Definitely the smart one who's not very nice. I don't mean "not nice" as in kicking puppies, but people who can be a bit critical are totally fine with me, especially when they're funny.
I'm a total ***** sometimes, and I love to be around people who are a little biting as well. Plus, I just can't deal with people who are dumb. It's too frustrating.
Which type of person would you rather be friends with? A really nice person who is really dumb and lacks common sense or a not so nice person who is really smart and has lots of common sense?
This is a curiosity question
Hands down, I'd most likely prefer the really nice person. Personally, I've had plenty of life experience dealing with both types and simply have no tolerance for people who are downright nasty to others. Most nice people are teachable. Would you rather teach a nice person or a not so nice person?
Listen....if your intelligent friends are truly intelligent and have a lot of common sense, they're not going to be mean. If they're mean to others, they're going to be mean to you, either to your face or behind your back. Please remember this little tidbit of information as well...just because you think something should be common sense, it doesn't mean that others were "raised" with that same common knowledge.
Generally, what we call "common sense"..is, in fact, simply...shared, common knowledge. You're not BORN with it. You acquire it through life experiences and interactions with others. Some people are simply not exposed to the same things as others. It doesn't mean that they're dumb, just that they haven't been exposed to that knowledge until later than some.
Again though....NICE trumps it for me.
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Me thinks this is a trick question, and therefore, I can't win! LOL!!
