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I will invite her out for drinks or dinner at a restaurant she likes and call it good I think.
Don't do that to the exclusion of inviting her to group events. Even though you think she's introvert, she probably wants to meet new people and doesn't want to be compartmentalized. It's very likely that she's not an introvert but has social anxiety, which is totally different from an introvert. People who have social anxiety desperately want to socialize but it makes them uncomfortable. Introverts are happy to be alone. The clue she has social anxiety is her being particular about who she invites. She does that to ensure she will be as comfortable as possible.
I agree with the responses that indicate to start inviting her. It's up to her to choose to come or not, but it hurts to feel left out. Also, in my experience, people with special dietary needs usually come prepared to manage that themselves (ie. sometimes they eat before coming or bring their own food).
She's done a lot of kind things for me, and I've always been willing to drop everything to help her when she's needed it. However, she has entire groups of friends that she will socialize with fairly regularly (I guess she's not as much of a recluse as she claims), and other friends are not invited to join. This has never bothered me as they have some very specific common interests, but the housemate has observed occasionally that it sometimes seems like a "private club."
So I guess the reason her displeasure is bothering me is because she picks and chooses who she invites along for things pretty regularly.
Given that she hasn't spoken to me directly, I don't think this is really anything I can approach her about first though without betraying the fact that my housemate passed along their conversation.
I will invite her out for drinks or dinner at a restaurant she likes and call it good I think.
Almost seems like Housemate is planting some seeds.
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