Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-17-2014, 07:23 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,117,463 times
Reputation: 30723

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I will invite her out for drinks or dinner at a restaurant she likes and call it good I think.
Don't do that to the exclusion of inviting her to group events. Even though you think she's introvert, she probably wants to meet new people and doesn't want to be compartmentalized. It's very likely that she's not an introvert but has social anxiety, which is totally different from an introvert. People who have social anxiety desperately want to socialize but it makes them uncomfortable. Introverts are happy to be alone. The clue she has social anxiety is her being particular about who she invites. She does that to ensure she will be as comfortable as possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-17-2014, 07:41 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,764 posts, read 2,868,204 times
Reputation: 1900
I agree with the responses that indicate to start inviting her. It's up to her to choose to come or not, but it hurts to feel left out. Also, in my experience, people with special dietary needs usually come prepared to manage that themselves (ie. sometimes they eat before coming or bring their own food).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2014, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Cupertino, CA
860 posts, read 2,206,840 times
Reputation: 1195
Don't over think it, just hold some more gatherings and be sure to invite her. She will start to feel better and will likely just "fuggedaboutit"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2014, 08:41 PM
 
7,121 posts, read 4,840,746 times
Reputation: 15263
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
She's done a lot of kind things for me, and I've always been willing to drop everything to help her when she's needed it. However, she has entire groups of friends that she will socialize with fairly regularly (I guess she's not as much of a recluse as she claims), and other friends are not invited to join. This has never bothered me as they have some very specific common interests, but the housemate has observed occasionally that it sometimes seems like a "private club."

So I guess the reason her displeasure is bothering me is because she picks and chooses who she invites along for things pretty regularly.

Given that she hasn't spoken to me directly, I don't think this is really anything I can approach her about first though without betraying the fact that my housemate passed along their conversation.

I will invite her out for drinks or dinner at a restaurant she likes and call it good I think.
Almost seems like Housemate is planting some seeds.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top