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I have a brother who is living in a halfway house until March 31st. He was released from prison in December, and after he leaves the halfway house, he has to come live with the rest of the family. My problem is that he's drinking beer. He'll just pop them open one after the next.
He has an addictive personality and was addicted to crack and heroin for his entire life up until he finally went to prison 13 years ago for being involved in an attempted murder and burglaries, robberies, drug possession, etc. He even stole from us dozens of times in order to get crack and feed his addiction.
I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting about him drinking beer, but I know that alcohol is especially addictive for people like him, it's a depressant, and can be destructive. He's trying to start working and get a source of income, and he's been showing that he's changed, but the only difference really is that he isn't addicted to a drug. So this is something I want to address but I don't want to seem like I'd be unreasonable to tell him not to drink any alcohol. I'm not sure whether to say anything.
If he's living in someone else's house, they have the right to impose whatever conditions they want. I don't think no alcohol is unreasonable given the circumstances. If he's on some type of parole, that could be a condition of it. Even if it's not, I'd tell him no alcohol or at least very limited alcohol only.
I wouldn't want him in my house as long as he's drinking any alcohol..it'll escalate more than likely. Then what? do you kick him out? Just because beer is not illegal, doesn't make it less addictive.
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He'll probably be back on crack so fast that the beer will be a total non-problem.
I'm not being flippant. If the only reason he hasn't been using crack and H is that he's been in prison - well, that's a rehab program with a less-than-stellar success rate.
He's on parole and his case workers are assisting him with finding transitional housing and a job. He doesn't want to go to a shelter or stay at the halfway house, and he's going to be homeless otherwise as soon as the halfway house releases him come March 31st. But he's been wanting beer more often on the weekends, that's when he has a pass from his PO to stay with family the whole weekend as long as he follows curfew and calls in. I know exactly where this is headed.
He may not "want" to live at a halfway house - but he doesn't' have the right to demand to live with anyone - that's their right to choose. He may not have a choice.
There is no reason your brother " has" to come live with the rest of the family. He is going to be there because the family is permitting this. They can always say no.
That gives the family control over the situation. Your brother is an addict. Right now he is just substituting one addiction for another. Nothing has changed. Don't kid yourself. Everything is just as it was. He's being drug tested at the half way house. Evidently they are not checking for alcohol so he's using that instead.
Yes, you should speak up. If he's on parole or probation of some sort, he will surely be drug tested frequently. Meet with his parole officer and tell him you also want that test to check for alcohol. Explain to your brother that one of the the requirements for living in your home is continual attendance at an addiction program and staying off all drugs and alcohol. Explain that your home will be alcohol free for him. Just keep it out of the house for whatever period of months he is living with you.
However, I sadly suspect that it won't be long before your brother is right back in prison. He's not likely going to listen to anything you say or follow any house rules. He's probably going to be upset that he can't abuse whatever substance he likes in your home, as much and whenever he likes. What are you going to do when he does ?
By the way, I'd suggest you and any family members should also be in group sessions for families of substance abusers. You're already being conned and can't see it. Good luck
A friend of mine had similar issues and more too. I have known VERY FEW people who can quit a drug addiction and then drink moderately. Alcohol is not commonly called a drug but it very much is and will snare him same as the crack did, just differing in the details.
My friend had served a 12 year sentence for robbing a bank when on crack. He was out about 4 years, alcohol caught up and he robbed another bank, after some other foolishness. He is now serving another 12 year sentence.
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