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If you've worked with this woman for 2 years and have told her how your name is pronounced, she should have gotten it by now.
No, I don't think that you are overreacting. I have a last name that is 7 letters. People screw it up all the time. I appreciate when people ask "How do you pronounce that?", as I would do for anyone else with a name I wasn't sure how to pronounce. Cripes, 2 years is enough time to get an associate's degree; it's certainly time enough to pronounce someone's name correctly.
I understand picking your battles, but if her manager is non-responsive, go over HER head, or maybe to HR. It's not unreasonable to ask that someone use your last initial. I'm not suggesting that you do this, but if you want to really light a fire under someone's *ss you could cite ethnic or racial discrimination, whichever the case may be.
Is your coworker 15 years old? Geez.
Swgirl is right.
I don't think you're being picky or unreasonable at all, especially after 2 years. That co-worker is a rude ignoramus. It's not so much a person's INABILITY to pronounce a name correctly, but their self-satisfied determination to CONTINUE to mispronounce it, even after they've been corrected. I'm getting ticked off just reading your post (I've experienced the same thing with my first name, which has an uncommon spelling).
I agree with the other poster who said to start mispronouncing their name (s). That's the tactic I've used in the past, and trust me, they get the message REAL QUICK.
On the other hand, swgirl brings up a good point: you could (gently) cite ethnic discrimination. Management/HR will definitely pay attention, then, won't they?
I don't think you are being unreasonable. Your name is part of your identity and two years is definitely long enough to learn how to pronounce it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
My last name is German, where you pronounce the second vowel of the pair instead of the first vowel.
Same here. 6 letters, 1 vowel pair and hardly ever pronounced correctly. I'm used to it. Usually, most won't even try to pronounce it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dblackga
If they mispronounce your name -- DON'T RESPOND. When they continue to mispronounce your name, ignore them. When they get indignant, tell them, calmly and without rancor, that you didn't realize they were speaking to YOU, since they were not using YOUR name.
Prior to the Do Not Call Registry, I used to do this with solicitors.
Caller: "Is NWGirl Mispronounced Name available?"
Me: "I'm sorry. There's no one here with that name."
Does it make a difference that we correspond over e-mail multiple times per day, all of which my name is displayed?
I think you need to be careful about it. A lot of people are telling you to make a big point of teaching them your name, or refusing to respond if they don't use your correct name, etc. But your manager has already told you to let it go. If you cause a fuss, then your manager may not have your back, and you don't want to ultimately lose your job over this.
Just do your work as you normally would and don't worry about it. If you want, you could always respond in kind, meaning, if you ever have to write them a physical note (like on a post-it) and use their name, put something like, "Sarah Wsomething" or "Lisa Cincinnati." Nothing rude, just something that is like what they're doing with you. If one of them asks you about it, or tries to correct you, "My name is Lisa Chambers..." then you can say, "Oh, I thought it was a cute little bit we were doing, since you never accurately write my last name." But smile as you say it, like you really thought it was a cute in-joke. Either she'll get it, or she won't.
But again, anything more than that, and I think you're stepping into the realm of really obvious passive aggressiveness, or just plain aggressiveness. And again, since you've already brought this up to your manager and he brushed it off, you don't want to rock the boat over it.
EDIT: It is rude what they're doing, but there are rude things people will do every day that you can't ultimately do anything about. And ultimately, you can't do anything about them not writing your full last name or bothering to learn your last name. It's even something that your manager has brushed off. So learn to ignore their rudeness, and if you work somewhere else, establish right from the beginning what your last name is ("Oh, I can see you're having a hard time with my last name, let me help you out. It's x x x x x x x x x x" spelled out slowly). Not everyone is rude like they are, but clearly, the first employee set the precedent for the second employee, and it's not likely to stop at your current place of employment.
I completely get the annoyance here. My maiden name is very ethnic, long, and with far too many vowels in one place for the English language. Up until I got married, I spent a long time spelling/pronouncing my last name for people. I joke that 50% of why I married my husband was to get an easier last name (I'm kidding...it's only 12% of the reason...give or take. )
Throughout my pre-married life, there were tons of people who wouldn't even try to pronounce my name no matter how many times they were told. Some people are just jerks, but for others, it was clear they either really couldn't remember how to spell/say it or were afraid to try.
In your case, it seems your co-worker is one of the jerks. My gut reaction would be to do as others have said, start calling her out on it. But that's not what you should do. For one thing, you will look like you're overreacting and petty -- for another, it's not going to teach her anything except that she's getting to you, which seems to be what she wants. After two years, she likely knows full well how to say your name and spell it, but she's not going to start now, no matter how many times you correct her. And if you do it repeatedly, you're going to look like the pedantic one with control issues, not her. I feel for you, because this would be very aggravating over the course of years, but I'd let this one go.
Then tell her you're tired of her not respecting you. Then I would mispronounce her name every chance I got. Maybe give her some remedial literature on learning. Offering to help her with night classes, since she is obviously slow or mentally challenged.
If it was me and a guy we would have a discussion about it in a back room and that would be the end of that. But I guess you can't do that.
Not at work. This would be highly unprofessional behavior. While it's also true that the behavior of the person who won't learn the last name is unprofessional, it's never a good idea to sink to that level. And especially not at work.
Does it make a difference that we correspond over e-mail multiple times per day, all of which my name is displayed?
No. Once I know who an email is from (normally the first couple of letters of the first name), I don't even look at the last name. I understand your annoyance, but this has no bearing on it.
Try to see the funny side of it. Whether she's being passive-agressive, deliberately rude, or honestly and innocently just can't keep a grasp your name (it happens), a sense of humor is your best friend.
I took my husband's surname and it's easy to pronounce but is such an odd name that I automatically add "and yes, that's really my name" when I meet people for the first time.
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