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I've got to say that you can't have it both ways. You say you don't see anything to celebrate and you find them depressing and then you get are in a funk because people aren't celebrating it for you. My hubby said the same thing the first year we were dating. He said " I hate birthdays, I don't want anything for my birthday. No fuss, no party, no gift, nothing". So when his birthday came I gave him exactly what he asked for, no card, no cake, no singing, no gift. He was all mopey the net day. He told his friend that I didn't even give him a card and acted all shocked and hurt. Seriously dude! I gave him EXACTLY what he asked for. Don't play this game. If you claim to not celebrate your birthday, don't expect anyone to be throwing you any surprise parties. They're HONORING YOU WISHES.
So today was my birthday and I must say it's the most empty birthday I ever had in my life. Normally, I don't care about my birthday, ever since I was 17-18 my birthday has always made me depressed or sad. I just don't understand why people celebrate another year closer to death, doesn't make sense to me (but that's another post). Anyway, I felt like today the only people who showed me any genuine love was my aunt, mother, and one of my uncles. And ofcourse, how could I forget the strangers I haven't spoken to in years wishing me a "HBD" on Facebook *sarcasm*.
One thing i've noticed was most of my really close friends didn't even say Happy Birthday on Facebook, not a call, nor a text, just nothing. My girlfriend is still arguing with me over Valentines Day (stupid story), apparently Valentines Day is more important to her than my birthday. Even coming home, my mom and my uncle said Happy Birthday to me, and I felt like they meant it. My other uncle didn't say a word, he just walked right by me and went out the door, and my brother didn't say anything to me either. My father didn't even call me, not even a text from him smh.
Listen, I appreciate the birthday wishes i've received, really I do. However, even though I don't understand the concept of a birthday, I do understand people take it very personally. So in that case, I feel really hurt that many who claimed to love me didn't wish me well on a day they would want people to wish them well.
Sorry, I just felt like getting this out of my system.
As you said, you yourself don't really understand the concept of celebrating a birthday. So maybe those people who don't wish you a happy birthday are like you (also don't get it). And your friend also (making Valentine's day more important).
So it's a bit ironic that you get hurt by those people who are just like you. (in their belief about the birthdays). Instead of getting hurt by those who are like you, just ignore those who keep wishing you a happy birthday and think to yourself: "oh whatever"... I think you'll be happier.
Maybe the people who love and know you are just being respectful of the fact you are so pessimistic about birthdays.
I don't celebrate my birthday. Not because I have the same negative viewpoint, I just don't. People know this about me so they just don't bother to get me anything and while many will still wish me a happy birthday anyhow, many won't because they know I don't care if they do.
I'm also sure the number of people who say it do because it's such an easy date to remember. If I had a weird date that was easy to forget, I imagine even less people would bother to commit it to memory knowing I don't care about it much myself.
Do you really not understand the concept of "birthdays" or are you having an inner wrestling match with your birthday = having issues dealing with the fact that you, specifically, were born into this world and exist and the life that's developed into?
Last edited by cyberphonics; 02-20-2014 at 02:58 PM..
I've had very few celebrations for my half-century of birthdays. It just falls at a most inopportune time of year. The last best one I remember was when I was nine. Everyone is just too busy with holidays, hunting, shopping, etc.
If you want a big deal, make your own. Whether it's a very good bottle of wine, a trip, a visit to the spa, a basketball game, whatever starts your motor. Do IT. Take selfies and post them. Invite those few who want to celebrate with you.
So today was my birthday and I must say it's the most empty birthday I ever had in my life. Normally, I don't care about my birthday, ever since I was 17-18 my birthday has always made me depressed or sad. I just don't understand why people celebrate another year closer to death, doesn't make sense to me (but that's another post). Anyway, I felt like today the only people who showed me any genuine love was my aunt, mother, and one of my uncles. And ofcourse, how could I forget the strangers I haven't spoken to in years wishing me a "HBD" on Facebook *sarcasm*.
One thing i've noticed was most of my really close friends didn't even say Happy Birthday on Facebook, not a call, nor a text, just nothing. My girlfriend is still arguing with me over Valentines Day (stupid story), apparently Valentines Day is more important to her than my birthday. Even coming home, my mom and my uncle said Happy Birthday to me, and I felt like they meant it. My other uncle didn't say a word, he just walked right by me and went out the door, and my brother didn't say anything to me either. My father didn't even call me, not even a text from him smh.
Listen, I appreciate the birthday wishes i've received, really I do. However, even though I don't understand the concept of a birthday, I do understand people take it very personally. So in that case, I feel really hurt that many who claimed to love me didn't wish me well on a day they would want people to wish them well.
Sorry, I just felt like getting this out of my system.
Believe me... ...the "voluptuous stripper jumping out of a cake" b'day stunt soon gets tiring! Be happy, you had a normal, not-too-exciting birthday! Happy b'day!!
Well I wish you a Late Happy Birthday. But please keep in mind in no time your life will be behind you and you can't change it. My advice make the Best of every future day as if it was your last.
My birthday was on the 16th, and I wasn't expecting anyone to wish me a happy birthday. I actually forgot to charge my cell phone at all! When I turned it on, I was shocked to see the friends who did wish me a happy birthday. Some really close people to me, my parents, and it did make me feel good.
I am not saying you should do this - but what helped me make my important friendships closer is deactivating facebook. I always hated getting those greetings from people who would never speak to me otherwise. Since deactivating, people in my life are forced to either be my real friend, or be my real acquaintance. Not everyone is a friend anymore, nor should everyone be!
I haven't "celebrated" my birthday in a long time. I don't celebrate holidays at all, really. No sordid details. It's just my way.
But I don't get sad about it either.
It's not another year closer to death.
It's another year keeping out of death's icy grip.
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