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I had a friend who I ceased communicating with about a year ago. We had been friends for many years but she was just so overbearing and thought she knew what is best for everyone, what is best for their children, how to raise their children (even though she has none of her own), and what is best for every family. She would steamroll everyone --- including businesspeople, etc. They would only tolerate her because she is a customer and they don't want to lose her business.
Anyway, one day, she just went much too far into my business and created a very bad situation for me AND made me look like a complete asss in the process AND revealed some of my personal information to a third party when she never should have done so. Right after this happened, I completely cut off all communication with her. I haven't called her, haven't taken any of her calls, etc. I just cold stopped speaking with her at all.
Here is the problem: As I stated earlier, I haven't had contact with her for a year. However, I STILL have anger toward her over what she did to me and how she made me look foolish and violated my privacy. Since it's going to be a new year, I was thinking of writing her a letter and letting her know how I feel. BY NO MEANS DO I WANT TO REVIVE OUR FRIENDSHIP. I will never speak to this person again but I do want to get my thoughts and feelings on what she did to me out in the open and let her know how much she hurt me and how she hurts others with her steamrolling and overbearing personality.
I had a friend who I ceased communicating with about a year ago. We had been friends for many years but she was just so overbearing and thought she knew what is best for everyone, what is best for their children, how to raise their children (even though she has none of her own), and what is best for every family. She would steamroll everyone --- including businesspeople, etc. They would only tolerate her because she is a customer and they don't want to lose her business.
Anyway, one day, she just went much too far into my business and created a very bad situation for me AND made me look like a complete asss in the process AND revealed some of my personal information to a third party when she never should have done so. Right after this happened, I completely cut off all communication with her. I haven't called her, haven't taken any of her calls, etc. I just cold stopped speaking with her at all.
Here is the problem: As I stated earlier, I haven't had contact with her for a year. However, I STILL have anger toward her over what she did to me and how she made me look foolish and violated my privacy. Since it's going to be a new year, I was thinking of writing her a letter and letting her know how I feel. BY NO MEANS DO I WANT TO REVIVE OUR FRIENDSHIP. I will never speak to this person again but I do want to get my thoughts and feelings on what she did to me out in the open and let her know how much she hurt me and how she hurts others with her steamrolling and overbearing personality.
Thoughts? Advice?
Write a letter with all of your feelings, then rip it up and throw it away. Let it goooo, it has been a year. You are only opening a can of worms by contacting her again. She knows what she did, she knows you are pi$$ed, she knows you have cut off the friendship and will probably not revive it, no more than that needed.
My first thought would be, "why"? What is your objective? What result would you be looking for, what outcome?
The only result/outcome I am looking for is to 1. let her know how much she hurt and embarrassed me and 2. to try and make her be aware of how her actions constantly hurt and embarrass and demean other people.
She truly does not 'get' how much she hurts other people with her controlling and overbearing behavior. She thinks people like and appreciate it!
Write a letter with all of your feelings, then rip it up and throw it away. Let it goooo, it has been a year. You are only opening a can of worms by contacting her again. She knows what she did, she knows you are pi$$ed, she knows you have cut off the friendship and will probably not revive it, no more than that needed.
I thought about doing this, too, but I actually want her to KNOW that what she does to other people is not acceptable and what she did to me hurt me in so many ways. She just doesn't get it and thinks she is right in what she does.
You are making an assumption: that she will read your letter, and maybe learn from it. But, she could just as easily take offense, and go on the offensive---inundating you with letters, calls, etc., so she could tell YOU how you have now, out of the blue, offended her.
You are making an assumption: that she will read your letter, and maybe learn from it. But, she could just as easily take offense, and go on the offensive---inundating you with letters, calls, etc., so she could tell YOU how you have now, out of the blue, offended her.
This ^^.
People who get to be your friend's age and operate the way you explained do not just read a letter and say, "Wow, do I have some work to do! Thanks for the enlightening explanation of how I've wronged you, and let me start by telling you how sorry I am!"
You will open yourself up for MORE pain by sending the letter.
Got it. I think all of you guys are right. I won't send her the letter. It would be pointless. Even when I would TELL her, she never "got" it and said people LOVE and APPRECIATE her "helping" them. Sick.
Oh well.
I'll write the letter and maybe just tie it to a balloon and let it fly away! Or maybe just shred it or burn it!
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