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I need advices and support. My college freshman son has a girlfriend for over six months. My son goes to a decent out-of-state college. His girlfriend is in my local but has non-stop texting my son even he is in 4000 miles away. My son is very gentle, smart and sincere, plus he goes to one of the top universities in the nation. His girlfriend's family is treating my son as their investment, and they made my son agree not to see/make other girls at school so they could stay together in the future. Her parents told my son they were high school sweethearts so all those efforts are workable and possible to achieve.
I am not a jealous mom. I just want my son to keep his eyes and mind open. But I have been warned by my friends do not get involved or criticize his girlfriend and her family; otherwise will push him toward that family further. That girl and her family have non-stop texting or calling my son when he is back home for holidays, with all kinds of excuses and offers to make my son goes to their family.
What should i do? What could I tell my son but not making him being defensive?
Your son is a college freshman, so maybe 18? I wouldn't worry, it will almost certainly come to it's natural end once he makes friends and widens his social circle on campus. As long as his grades are good, and the calls/texting don't interfere with his education, let him figure it out.
Thank you, thank you, and thank you chellemi, Mattie and NewHavens! There have been so many times I almost open my mouth but I tried very hard to keep quiet. I was afraid not telling my son my thoughts so he may make mistakes in the future. But I guess teenager kids won't listen to their mom no matter what.
My son's grades are alright so far. I guess my jobs now are to keep paying his tuition and praying.
Yes, this is just growing up. Will be some growing pains along the way, but they must be had. They will make him a better partner to someone special when the time is right. He's better off learning these lessons himself now than having to learn them for the first time at 25 or 30.
I need advices and support. My college freshman son has a girlfriend for over six months. My son goes to a decent out-of-state college. His girlfriend is in my local but has non-stop texting my son even he is in 4000 miles away. My son is very gentle, smart and sincere, plus he goes to one of the top universities in the nation. His girlfriend's family is treating my son as their investment, and they made my son agree not to see/make other girls at school so they could stay together in the future. Her parents told my son they were high school sweethearts so all those efforts are workable and possible to achieve.
I am not a jealous mom. I just want my son to keep his eyes and mind open. But I have been warned by my friends do not get involved or criticize his girlfriend and her family; otherwise will push him toward that family further. That girl and her family have non-stop texting or calling my son when he is back home for holidays, with all kinds of excuses and offers to make my son goes to their family.
What should i do? What could I tell my son but not making him being defensive?
Make sure that your son knows that birth control pills are not 100% effective and he should always use a condom (even if the woman is on or says that she is on the pill).
If he gets tired of the non-stop texting he will tell them to stop it.
You can be rather insistent that he do the things that he needs to do with your family over vacation. For example, a mom can say "John, you should see Grandma Taylor and your Aunt & Uncle while you are home on vacation" but avoid saying "Don't visit your girlfriend's grandparents and all of her relatives". He probably won't have the time to do both.
Most HS relationships do not survive college, esp. when the girl or her family give ultimatums. OTOH, I dated my husband as a senior in HS and we broke up and I sowed my wild oats in college. We then got together after college and married at age 25 and have been married for 36 years.
Last edited by germaine2626; 12-26-2013 at 10:37 PM..
Make sure that your son knows that birth control pills are not 100% effective and he should always use a condom (even if the woman is on or says that she is on the pill).
When my son was still in middle school, I knew some moms pack condoms for their college sons. Omg! I've never thought this will happen to me until you mentioned. How do I tell him about the protection?
When my son was still in middle school, I knew some moms pack condoms for their college sons. Omg! I've never thought this will happen to me until you mentioned. How do I tell him about the protection?
If you haven't told him about it by now he is either not interested YET or he already got the run down from peers, web, school or the girlfriend. If he is using them correctly or consistently is another question,
Be upfront and honest, have the uncomfortable conversation, tell him you were remissed and didn't want to interfere but just like the immunizations you probably got him without his consent you have an OBLIGATION to share info that might protect him from STI's and STD's, especially HIV which is on the rise again in some communities. Also remember that cooties like herpes and warts can be transmitted even with the use of a condom.
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