When my husband and I moved out of state last spring, my oldest daughter and her family had limited opportunities where they were living, so the plan was for them to join us. They were starting with essentially nothing, and we invited them -daughter, son in law, 23 month old grandson, and 10 month old granddaughter - to move in with us.
We laid it out from the beginning: They could stay approximately 6 months, they were responsible for the babies though we didn't mind helping out if asked, when we were home we'd make dinner for everyone, we did our own things evenings and weekends, and they were expected to buy their own food when they could and keep their own area clean. The hardest part was keeping my mouth shut when I didn't agree with their parenting, but I was mostly successful.
They moved into their own place the first of this month. It did get stressful at times, and we were all relieved on moving day, but overall it was OK. I think the key was we knew it was temporary, and the goal was for them to have their own life. We weren't "kicking them out" and they weren't "getting away from us."
Maybe it would help to set up a plan with your mom. 1)Its been great getting to spend time with you, but it's time for me to get my own place. 2)I still need to do A, B, C to be ready to move out. 3)I should be ready to move out in X months. For me, having at least an approximate end date is necessary for my sanity.
Now, they live 15 minutes away. Every Saturday we pick up one of the babies - alternating weekends - and take them out for breakfast.
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