Single mom, three kids, moving out of state (boyfriend, college, mother)
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Uhm yeah, let her find a job first to feed the kids.
Well yes -- but I think by the time you're in your 30's you should contribute at least a tiny amount toward your retirement. A 401K plan is nice even if you have very little in it at first because you can borrow money from it, and when you repay it, you get the money plus interest. It's not just a retirement plan but your own personal safety net.
Only a job will get you that. You can never give up. Moving could be hard so another option is to look in rural areas and small towns that are within commuting distance. But relocation can be the only thing one can do. You can't just stay and shrivel up.
At least the OP's kids aren't small infants, they can be in school and summer programs, infants and toddlers would be a lot more difficult because of child care costs. Medical assistance jobs are usually day time hours.
Hello, everyone. I came across this site and everyone seems so helpful. I need advice. I am a Certified Medical Assistant who cannot find a job where I live. We are a huge medical district, but with all of these online colleges spitting out CMA's it is a tough market. I have two years on the job experience, but have been unemployed for two years as well. I completed the medical coding program as well, but am not certified in that. I have twin boys who are 11 and a five year old daughter. As of this moment my support system is nonexistant. I have compressed discs in my narrowed spine, have had one back surgery already, but due to my age of 32, neither of the doctors that are covered under my insurance take me seriously. I want to move to a different state. I have wanted to leave GA ever since I was old enough to think about my future. Everyone I talk to tells me how hard it will be and how I shouldn't do it because I will not know anyone. Other than taking a map and throwing darts at it, I have no idea where I want to go. My boys are biracial, so I have to take that into consideration as well. My only family here is my mom and aunt, uncle, cousin. My mom has decided for about the fifth time in my life, that she wants nothing to do with me. I am on Secton 8, I went to school to get off of public assistance, but it didn't help. I want to go back to school to become a psychologist eventually, so I need a place to live that is affordable, safe for my kids, where the prejudice is low, where I can find a job and find housing until I can figure out a way to be self sufficent. I feel there is nothing for me in this city anymore and that I would be happier starting over fresh somewhere. My kids are all for it. My mom was helping me with my bills and I donate plasma and have yard sales to pay the rest. The way I see it is, if I have no help in a city I hate thhat has no jobs, why not move somewhere where I can work, still have no help, and maybe be happy? Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did it turn out? Does anyone suggest a good city that has oppertunity? Thanks in advance and please excuse any typos, as for some reason half of the screen is cut off and I cannot make the cursor find the end if I go back to fix them (I'm posting from my phone)
Go to Indeed.com. Search for a job in your field, nationwide. Apply for everything you qualify for. When you are hired, move to that place.
Otherwise you are being very selfish in uprooting your family before you are settled. Based on what you have written, you are adding too many qualifiers and problems to this equation. Doesn't matter if you plan to study Psychology. You need a job. Doesn't matter if your mom is fed up with you. You need a job. Your medical issues don't matter. You need a job. Doesn't matter if you've always dreamed of leaving GA, you still need to find an effing job before you do it. You have three kids and you're living on the bottom rung of society.
You have valuable skills and training. Stop whining and making excuses. Finding a decent job is the only way out. THAT IS YOUR JOB.
From my little knowledge of section 8, even states that have it have shortages and years long waits to get it. Certainly true in my area. If anyone would dispute this- feel free.
So you are 32 with two years of work experience as a Certified Medical Assistant. You have back issues, three kids, and have been unemployed for the last two years. The father(s) of your children are not involved. Other than selling plasma and your Mom paying your bills from time to time, you are relying on public assistance to support the four of you. You want to start over fresh in a tolerant city with more job opportunities.
Have you talked things over with your public assistance case manager? According to the Georgia DHS page, TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families) has a lifetime limit of 48 months in Georgia. Most states sanction recipients who are not making progress towards becoming self supporting. Is that your situation?
TANF programs generally have a vocational services component. This would be a good time to avail yourself of those services. What do you need to become certified in medical coding? Tutoring to pass the test?
CMA may not be a good career choice for you. Not only are colleges across the country spitting them out on six inch centers, it is generally a fast-paced job that requires exemplary attendance and being on your feet a lot. With your back issues, this may be impossible for you.
Medical coding might be a better fit. With more people getting insurance thanks to ACA, there will be an increased demand for experienced, competent and certified coders. There is coding software out there, but my understanding is that the software results in errors and physicians aren't familiar enough with the codes to do it themselves. Accurate coding is essential for cash flow and knowledgeable, accurate coders are in demand.
There may well be a different career that would be a better fit for you. Talk with your TANF case manager about vocational aptitude testing. Ask about internships for work experience and references.
Moving is unlikely to improve your situation and stands a good chance of making it worse. At least you have a place to live now. Even if a new state accepts your Section 8 voucher (and many won't unless Georgia will cover the cost and what are the chances of that?), you will likely be on a wait list. Some wait lists are years long. With the economy picking up, landlords are increasingly reluctant to accept Section 8 vouchers. You could find you and your kids homeless in a heartbeat.
Also, TANF support does not start over in another state. Your two years will be deducted from the four, or at the most five, year total.
In the past, those who found it difficult to maintain employment could claim they were clinically depressed or had some other disability that prevented them from being successfully employed. If they could get physicians to back them up, they could get on Social Security Disability. My understanding is that this has become much more difficult to do. Also, those already on Disability are being reviewed. Say you received Disability for your back issues, eight years from now you could be video taped carrying your groceries into your home and that would be that. You'd be 40 with no job prospects and no financial support. Not to mention, going on Disability would lock yourself into poverty, doomed to spend the rest of your life selling plasma and appealing to the Salvation Army for Christmas gifts for your Kids.
You may want to contact your community mental health agency to see about talking things over with a counselor. How did you get to this point in your life? What can you do to change things?
There is no time to tarry, to dream about whether things might be better in Houston or Raleigh or... Our nation has taken a hard right turn away from extending a helping hand to the less fortunate. Looks like funding for Food Stamps is about to be cut, for crying out loud.
You have taken a good first step in realizing that things could be better for you and your kids. They definitely could.
The next step is to realize that you are the one that is going to have to make it better. A new city in a new state won't do that for you.
Good luck.
Last edited by GotHereQuickAsICould; 12-16-2013 at 07:35 AM..
Also, I would encourage you to maintain a relationship with your mother. What can you do to make things a two-way street? What can you do to help her out from time to time?
So you are 32 with two years of work experience as a Certified Medical Assistant. You have back issues, three kids, and have been unemployed for the last two years. The father(s) of your children are not involved. Other than selling plasma and your Mom paying your bills from time to time, you are relying on public assistance to support the four of you. You want to start over fresh in a tolerant city with more job opportunities.
Have you talked things over with your public assistance case manager? According to the Georgia DHS page, TANF (Temporary Assistance to Needy Families) has a lifetime limit of 48 months in Georgia. Most states sanction recipients who are not making progress towards becoming self supporting. Is that your situation?
TANF programs generally have a vocational services component. This would be a good time to avail yourself of those services. What do you need to become certified in medical coding? Tutoring to pass the test?
CMA may not be a good career choice for you. Not only are colleges across the country spitting them out on six inch centers, it is generally a fast-paced job that requires exemplary attendance and being on your feet a lot. With your back issues, this may be impossible for you.
Medical coding might be a better fit. With more people getting insurance thanks to ACA, there will be an increased demand for experienced, competent and certified coders. There is coding software out there, but my understanding is that the software results in errors and physicians aren't familiar enough with the codes to do it themselves. Accurate coding is essential for cash flow and knowledgeable, accurate coders are in demand.
There may well be a different career that would be a better fit for you. Talk with your TANF case manager about vocational aptitude testing. Ask about internships for work experience and references.
Moving is unlikely to improve your situation and stands a good chance of making it worse. At least you have a place to live now. Even if a new state accepts your Section 8 voucher (and many won't unless Georgia will cover the cost and what are the chances of that?), you will likely be on a wait list. Some wait lists are years long. With the economy picking up, landlords are increasingly reluctant to accept Section 8 vouchers. You could find you and your kids homeless in a heartbeat.
Also, TANF support does not start over in another state. Your two years will be deducted from the four, or at the most five, year total.
In the past, those who found it difficult to maintain employment could claim they were clinically depressed or had some other disability that prevented them from being successfully employed. If they could get physicians to back them up, they could get on Social Security Disability. My understanding is that this has become much more difficult to do. Also, those already on Disability are being reviewed. Say you received Disability for your back issues, eight years from now you could be video taped carrying your groceries into your home and that would be that. You'd be 40 with no job prospects and no financial support. Not to mention, going on Disability would lock yourself into poverty, doomed to spend the rest of your life selling plasma and appealing to the Salvation Army for Christmas gifts for your Kids.
You may want to contact your community mental health agency to see about talking things over with a counselor. How did you get to this point in your life? What can you do to change things?
There is no time to tarry, to dream about whether things might be better in Houston or Raleigh or... Our nation has taken a hard right turn away from extending a helping hand to the less fortunate. Looks like funding for Food Stamps is about to be cut, for crying out loud.
You have taken a good first step in realizing that things could be better for you and your kids. They definitely could.
The next step is to realize that you are the one that is going to have to make it better. A new city in a new state won't do that for you.
Good luck.
Wow - this sounds so harsh at first - but is most likely 110% real.
Wow - this sounds so harsh at first - but is most likely 110% real.
I reread it and you're right, it does sound harsh. But it's not nearly as harsh as reality and the reality is that the OP needs to quit dreaming about things being better somewhere else, and get busy figuring out how to support herself and her kids. Time is running out. She has two years of TANF support left. Once that's gone, it's gone. Then what?
I want to go back to school to become a psychologist eventually, so I need a place to live that is affordable, safe for my kids, where the prejudice is low, where I can find a job and find housing until I can figure out a way to be self sufficent.
Have you considered employment as a Personal Care Attendant or Caseworker? Many people with cognitive and mental health impairments live independently with the scheduled assistance of a PCA/Caseworker to help them keep things organized. A caseworker might work with a person in learning a system to keep bills paid, laundry done, groceries bought, meals fixed, medications straight, etc. You'd learn a lot about people and get a better understanding about whether psychology is for you.
Group homes need staff to supervise residents as well. Usually there's some meal prep and supervision, monitoring group outings, working on goals.
Your experience as a CMA will come in handy in a variety of ways. For example, documentation. There often a fair amount of documentation required in order for an agency to be reimbursed for your services.
Students often work as PCA's, caseworkers, group home workers, etc. while going to college, so there is a fair amount of turnover and many openings. Some decide this is not the field for them. Other love it and move up into management or go on to school to work in other areas of human services.
I reread it and you're right, it does sound harsh. But it's not nearly as harsh as reality and the reality is that the OP needs to quit dreaming about things being better somewhere else, and get busy figuring out how to support herself and her kids. Time is running out. She has two years of TANF support left. Once that's gone, it's gone. Then what?
Things will only improve is she gets a job. If you can't get a job in City A and there is one in City B, then City B is where you need to be. I think it might be best though to look outside the city she's in but within driving distance.
People have always relocated to find work -- my grandfather did that during the Depression -- and he took great pride in the fact that he never stood in a soup line. Later he became quite successful.
Single mothers of course have it more difficult because it's just them when it comes to moving. Maybe some relatives could help out though -- if she were to find a job in another city, maybe someone could come along temporarily to help care for the kids until she's established.
It's one thing to be in your early 20s and hesitate in looking for work further away, but by the time you get to age 30, time's a-wasting. If you just sit and hope, in another 10 years you'll be over 40 and still never employed.
Things will only improve is she gets a job. If you can't get a job in City A and there is one in City B, then City B is where you need to be. I think it might be best though to look outside the city she's in but within driving distance.
It's one thing to be in your early 20s and hesitate in looking for work further away, but by the time you get to age 30, time's a-wasting. If you just sit and hope, in another 10 years you'll be over 40 and still never employed.
I agree. If she can get a job in City B, go for it, particularly if it's within driving distance.
But moving to City B, hoping to get a job is a risky proposition, particularly with three kids in tow.
The OP wrote that despite living in a medical community, it has been two years since she was able to find employment as a Medical Assistant. She blames this on the abundance of folks graduating from CMA programs. This situation is more widespread than her local area. If she is unable to get job as a Medical Assistant in her medical community, she needs to try something else.
Once she is employed, she can save up money while she looks into obtaining a job in another part of the country.
I used to do volunteer in our community's homeless program. I can't tell you how many folks have ended up homeless by up and moving, hoping things would be better somewhere else.
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