Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Now I know that you shouldn't let money, or material items come between family. But I have this situation that is really irking me.
I'm a young mother, living on my own, taking care of myself. My brother who just finished college, is living at home with Mom. A few months ago, he called saying he had an emergency and he needed to BORROW some money. And that he would pay me back. It was kind of a large sum, but since we're FAMILY, I did it.
I spoke to my mother the other day, and found out he started a new job 2 months ago. SO um...........where's my money? So I called him up, asking about it. And he says "I figured you were calling about money. you don't call to see how I'm doing"!!!
The ****ing AUDACITY!!
I should've been paid back when you got that first check. It's not like I'm hurting for the money. Its just the fact that you know I have a child. I could've spent that money on something for my son. And I shouldn't have to ASK for something that I'm owed. Too bad we don't live in the same state, so I cant go kick his door down(because I definitely would do that!!)
If the shoe was on the other foot, he would've harassed me all day, everyday until I paid him back.
Now I'm just thinking of telling to keep the money as a "gift", and to NEVER ask me for anything ever again. I wouldn't give a damn if he were getting evicted or starving.
The things we go through for the people we love. And that we "think" love us back..........
Last edited by YoungLove21; 07-22-2013 at 10:30 PM..
I never let family borrow money. If I don't have it to GIVE them, then it just doesn't change hands. I can't stand the anxiety of hoping they pay it back (which from what I hear rarely happens).
How you handle this depends on whether you value your relationship with your brother. If you insist on payment, he might poison your parents about you, or create problems in the family. Is receiving payment worth it to you?
You have already indicated that you are ready to forget about the debt. I think you might have to do this, but I wouldn't make a big stink, unless you are willing to pay the relationship price with the rest of your family. Yes, don't lend him any money, ever again. You've had a hard lesson.
If you do decide to pursue the debt, then proceed carefully, and try to negotiate terms. But you have no leverage to collect the debt unless you get your parents involved, Do you want to do that?
How you handle this depends on whether you value your relationship with your brother. If you insist on payment, he might poison your parents about you, or create problems in the family. Is receiving payment worth it to you?
You have already indicated that you are ready to forget about the debt. I think you might have to do this, but I wouldn't make a big stink, unless you are willing to pay the relationship price with the rest of your family. Yes, don't lend him any money, ever again. You've had a hard lesson.
If you do decide to pursue the debt, then proceed carefully, and try to negotiate terms. But you have no leverage to collect the debt unless you get your parents involved, Do you want to do that?
Im pretty sure he cant poison the family against me. Im the baby, and my son is the first and only grandchild. They would never turn on me.
As far gettin parents involved, we're both grown, so its not like my parents can force him to pay me back either.
I value our relationship, but I value my respect more. I feel like its disrespectful, again knowing that that money couldve gone to my child, to have me chase you for it.
Money issues divide families badly. Of course, it is easy to say this now: never loan money to a family member or friend you even suspect won't pay you back. It ends up usually being in lost money instead of a loan. And worse yet, familial relationships are strained when someone does not honor paying back.
Demand it be repaid ! I'll guarantee that he'll be mad but will come back to you at a later date and ask for MORE. That's when you tell him to go to H--- and remind him how he wasn't planning on paying you back the last time. It makes me mad when people let family step all over them. If they get bent out of shape (when it's their fault) then they aren't worth bothering with.
They say, don't lend anyone money, give it to them as a gift because you probably won't get it back. Also I would never lend money I couldn't afford to not get back. That said, you can't just go by they are "family", but whether the family member is a good bet. Then if you do decide, you should set terms of WHEN they will pay it back, how much at a time, etc. I lent my niece money when she was in trouble because I know she is a very, very responsible person (her husband was on disability at the time) and I know she hated to even ask. We decided she would pay me when she got her tax refund, and she sent me an e-mail stating that the money was a loan and I would be paid back by such and such date (on my request).
My nephew on the other hand and his wife, have also been in financial trouble at some point, however I do not feel they are very responsible, and regardless of intentions, they probably would not have been able to pay me back later. They are family too, but I would not have lent them money.
At this point, I am afraid you may have a choice of letting it go, or causing a rift in your relationship. There is nothing you can do but nag him, and I don't think that is going to help much.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I called him up, asking about it. And he says "I figured you were calling about money. you don't call to see how I'm doing"!!!
