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How do you feel about going into bars alone? I do this. For me that is the whole point of a bar kinda like Cheers. You feeling like not being by yourself, go to the bar, strike up conversation with Bartender, or other lonely patrons. In Manhattan, at certain times, it can be kinda of weird, which I think is wrong. These cliques have just taken over, and makes anyone alone look bad.
How do you feel about this? Do you go alone, or do you look funny at people who do?
I go alone at times; am loud, obnoxious, amusing, and have met some pretty interesting people, some of whom have become good friends. Don't focus on the negative perceptions of others- just go and have a good time, be chatty. If they aren't feeling your vibe, oh well, down another drink and continue to do your own thing.
I don't go alone. I feel so out of place and like an outcast. Sometimes when I'm at the mall with my girlfriend or some friends, I'll look and see an eldery man or woman eating alone and sometimes I just want to sit and eat with them.
Since I'm gay my relation to bars is perhaps a bit different than most.
When I go to str8 bars its usually for one reason and that is to hear some band or musician or for an open-mike night, since I am a live music fan. No problemo going to these places by myself, since the bars I go to are more "listening rooms" (some are a bit more social) where the point is to listen to the artist, not to use the music as a soundtrack for socializing.
For gay bars....
Quote:
These cliques have just taken over, and makes anyone alone look bad.
...LOL...for you str8 folks too?!? Yeah I've noticed this in my gay world. But worse in some places than others. One place that I used to go to was like that. Probably the hoppingest gay bar in Dayton, very busy, but very cliquish. You really feel alone in the crowd there....but thats on a busy weekend night. On Saturday or Sunday afternoons or early evenings it becomes a bit more "open" in a way.
Another is more...shall we say...the "neighborhood bar"....for the whole city. This place is almost like the corner taverns I remember in Chicago (tho this place is downtown). I've been going there for years and know the bartenders and the regulars (since I'm sort of regular too), so no problem going there.
Im sort of cognizant of new faces and try to be friendly or strike up a conversation...not to make a pick-up (gay folks don't seem to do that anymore...at least in bars...) but just to be friendly and welcoming...
How do you feel about going into bars alone? I do this. For me that is the whole point of a bar kinda like Cheers. You feeling like not being by yourself, go to the bar, strike up conversation with Bartender, or other lonely patrons. In Manhattan, at certain times, it can be kinda of weird, which I think is wrong. These cliques have just taken over, and makes anyone alone look bad.
How do you feel about this? Do you go alone, or do you look funny at people who do?
I used to do it when I was younger. Somewhat often. I also do it when I go on vacay by myself, which hasn't happened in a while.
Every now and then, at best I'd have an interesting conversation with somebody who wanted to talk to me, usually an older person, who might be a regular and even buy me a few drinks.
At neutral, there'd be nobody to talk to, and I'd drink a few beers, watching the game and leave.
At worst, It'd be crowded, I'd try to chat up some people at the bar and they'd answer my questions curtly, pretty much ignore me (including the bartender), and I'd feel like a fool sitting by myself.
The former didn't really happen frequently enough for me to keep going. But if I am lonely and do want that (lately I have been getting that itch), I go to old divey run down old man Irish bars. Those are the most likely places to get friendly conversation.
If I'm traveling, yes. Sit at the bar for awhile with a beer and a crossword puzzle and you can strike up any number of conversations. The key is to not sit at a bar and just swill drink after drink.
I just can't do it. I have no problem eating alone, shopping alone, taking long walks alone, but going to the bar alone? It just raises my flight response.
I actually have tried this once. Went to a bar in Manhattan, like you OP, just to check it out. It was still early-ish (10 pm?), so there were more regulars about, but still. I went in, got a drink, damn near knocked it back, and was out of there within 15 minutes. I was just too uncomfortable.
Maybe times have changed but 15ish years ago when I found myself divorced and friendless (funny how many friends you lose in a divorce) I would go to the local bar alone. I felt more depressed than when I got there because there were just groups of people and you were reminded that you were a group of 1.
I am long remarried but if I found myself with a weekend to kill the last place I would go alone is a bar. Just seems boring.
From what I've observed, men seem to be more comfortable going to bars alone than women. I've often seen men out by themselves. I don't ever remember seeing a woman at a bar alone, and I know my friends and I wouldn't go alone. We always thought it was kind of a "girl thing." I have not gone alone but in my last location I really only had one good friend who was my age and still interested in the "bar/club scene." When she got into a serious relationship she'd start bringing the b/f along (without my knowledge before we left, or I wouldn't have gone). Sometimes after a few drinks and we were dancing (her with her b/f, of course), I'd go up to a random group of girls and just say something like, "Hey, my friend brought along her boyfriend, mind if I hang out with you?" and it was never a big deal as generally drunk people are quite friendly.
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