Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was just thinking and I really don't even know my grandparents. One set lives within 10 miles of my home back home and I may see them 2-3 times per year now (used to be much more) and we don't really speak, just maybe hello, we really have literally nothing to talk about and its the point of being akward, I can say I don't have a relationship at all with them I probably haven't directly touched them since I was a baby and may have spoken less than 500 words in my lifetime to them, probably far less than that. My mom talks to them at least once a week a lot
My other set of grandparents are divorced and live in separate cities in California and Arizona and I haven't seen each in about 2 years, again no conversations really I haven't really spoken to either in months years (on the phone), thank you for paying tuition, etc. Again I don't really know them. I have 7 cousins, two live in my home town but haven't seen in maybe a year, no conversations, two live in Houston (I don't know them and have seen them twice in my lifetime) and the rest live in Europe (same situation)
I have no siblings just a mom and a dad, does this seem weird to you? I always hear people saying yeah I miss my family, my grandparents, my cousins, but I don't even know mine.. but i haven't even seen my parents in 3 months nd they're about 30 miles away
Last edited by caponeleo; 11-20-2012 at 02:51 AM..
But you might try to build a relationship with the grandparents-maybe take over some old photos and ask who the people in them were. (Doesn't matter maybe but it'll give them a chance to tell you memories....lots and lots of memories!) Or ask your mom if they ever had any special hobbies or interests. If possible ask them for advice on how to..... Or offer to do something for them-then they'll ask you in for milk and cookies and you can talk about what you did, or what you will do...
The cousins and those more your age, one of the few advantages of facebook. Are any on there? Can you contact them and see if they want to meet?
Time just passes so fast. It's sad to have family go with it.
I haven't seen or spoken to most of my aunts, uncles or cousins in nearly 20 years. Partly due to lack of opportunity, partly because they have never contacted me and partly because I never had much contact when I was growing up. My father is the black sheep of the family and we moved around a lot so the relationships have always been very very minimal. I'm working on improving that but I can see why some of them might not want establish contact.
In answer to your post - Even though my brother and I weren't that close and hadn't seen each other in some years, I realized as his life was coming to an end, that I never really knew him. The same holds true for my parents. I have come to realize over the years that people who appear to be an open book or easy to get to know all have aspects of their persona that we are not privy to.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Not strange at all.
Most of my family is concentrated in NC and TX and I lived in Virginia most of my life. I don't really know a whole lot about them, nor have they shown an interest in knowing me so why bother?
Many of these posts seem so sad to me. A good friend of mine lost a sibling who was far too young just a couple of weeks ago - they hadn't seen one another for eight years, until the diagnosis brought my friend back to our hometown to be together one last time. Now, there are regrets...
Time is short. Life is short. It seems as if it will last forever when you are twenty, but it doesn't. If your relatives are close by but you haven't seen much of them, or only have a superficial relationship, do what you can to change that. 90% of the time, you won't regret it.
If there are many years between you and your older relatives, and you seem to have little in common, invite members of the middle generation to go along with you to help "translate". Ask about what life was like when your older kinfolks were your age - where did they live? Did they ever live anywhere else? If they moved, why? Were they in college or working or doing something else when they were your age? What were their parents and siblings like? Why did they choose to go into whatever field they did? How did they meet their spouses? Where did given names come from in your family?
What was the funniest thing that ever happened in our family? What was the most memorable? What were holiday and birthday celebrations like 25, 50, and 75 years ago? What were/are their favorite foods? Did great-grandma have special recipes? Are they still in the family somewhere? Are there any old photos of your ancestors and relatives around? And letters, written documents, family autobiographies, family Bibles?
From what country or countries did our family come to the U.S.? When did they make the trip(s)?, and where did they land and live? Why did they immigrate? Did any special family traditions come with them that are still remembered and observed?
And give them time to ask you a few things, too. You don't have to ask all of these questions initially, but pick and choose whatever fits your situation, and get to know your old folks, as well as your relatives who share your own generation.
Friends can fade away - family lasts a lifetime.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
