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Mom my who's 64 recently had her second face lift.
She will be visiting in a few weeks and I know she's going to be looking for compliments from me.
The opinion I'd given her prior to her surgery was: don't do it. She has very thin skin that doesn't scar well. I'd suggested she just do some "spot" work - maybe just the brows, some fillers. Just a few things here and there, if she really wanted to. I told her the "mask" look was very passé. There are better techniques today.
Anyway, she really wanted to do it and went ahead. When my niece came to visit a couple of weeks ago I overheard her telling my daughter that Grandma looks scary and she doesn't like looking at her anymore.
When I speak to my mom on the phone, she's thrilled w/the results. Her only complaint is that her face isn't tight enough. I told her it'd be unnatural if a 64-year-old woman didn't have any lines on her face. She now wants to plump up her lips.
When I see her in a few weeks, I don't want to offer false compliments (it may encourage her to do more). On the other hand, what's done is done and she's so vain - I don't want to offend.
Avoid the topic as best you can when you see or talk to her. If she wants to talk about her surgery, just say very little until she's finished talking about it. Try to move on to subjects you like to talk about.
When my niece came to visit a couple of weeks ago I overheard her telling my daughter that Grandma looks scary and she doesn't like looking at her anymore.
I've been in this situation, though not with relatives. I've scripted some compliments.
"Oh, great! Are you happy with how it turned out?"
"Good! And how did you like this doctor?"
"What's your favorite change/part?" If they respond they don't what and want to know your, say their smile.
"You've always been beautiful. I'm glad for you that you were able to do this, though."
"What does [SO] think of it?"
Big smile. Hear the insecurities and hopefullness behind the words.
It's not something I would do, but if it somehow makes their life better, it's okay with me.
I've been in this situation, though not with relatives. I've scripted some compliments.
"Oh, great! Are you happy with how it turned out?"
"Good! And how did you like this doctor?"
"What's your favorite change/part?" If they respond they don't what and want to know your, say their smile.
"You've always been beautiful. I'm glad for you that you were able to do this, though."
"What does [SO] think of it?"
Big smile. Hear the insecurities and hopefullness behind the words.
It's not something I would do, but if it somehow makes their life better, it's okay with me.
Just be honest. Tell her she looks like a woman who is 64 and has had two face lifts.
Anybody remember the Gong Show?
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