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Old 08-28-2012, 08:46 AM
 
571 posts, read 1,201,074 times
Reputation: 1452

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Mom my who's 64 recently had her second face lift.

She will be visiting in a few weeks and I know she's going to be looking for compliments from me.

The opinion I'd given her prior to her surgery was: don't do it. She has very thin skin that doesn't scar well. I'd suggested she just do some "spot" work - maybe just the brows, some fillers. Just a few things here and there, if she really wanted to. I told her the "mask" look was very passé. There are better techniques today.

Anyway, she really wanted to do it and went ahead. When my niece came to visit a couple of weeks ago I overheard her telling my daughter that Grandma looks scary and she doesn't like looking at her anymore.

When I speak to my mom on the phone, she's thrilled w/the results. Her only complaint is that her face isn't tight enough. I told her it'd be unnatural if a 64-year-old woman didn't have any lines on her face. She now wants to plump up her lips.

When I see her in a few weeks, I don't want to offer false compliments (it may encourage her to do more). On the other hand, what's done is done and she's so vain - I don't want to offend.

Suggestions?

 
Old 08-28-2012, 08:55 AM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,301,769 times
Reputation: 5372

Heidi Montag: Plastic Surgery Fail - YouTube
 
Old 08-28-2012, 09:02 AM
 
14,375 posts, read 18,374,578 times
Reputation: 43059
LOL. My mother is the same age and keeps talking about getting her "jowls" done again. I read her the riot act.

She already looks 10 years younger than she is. She can't afford it. And what happened to just letting yourself age gracefully?

Ultimately it's my mom's decision though. I said my piece. If she asks me again, I will refer her back to that conversation. That's all you can do.
 
Old 08-28-2012, 03:03 PM
 
Location: North Fulton
1,039 posts, read 2,426,208 times
Reputation: 616
Avoid the topic as best you can when you see or talk to her. If she wants to talk about her surgery, just say very little until she's finished talking about it. Try to move on to subjects you like to talk about.
 
Old 08-28-2012, 03:41 PM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,717 posts, read 20,244,680 times
Reputation: 28979
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelcake4 View Post

When my niece came to visit a couple of weeks ago I overheard her telling my daughter that Grandma looks scary and she doesn't like looking at her anymore.
I hope it isn't as bad as it sounds! lol
 
Old 08-28-2012, 04:51 PM
 
3,648 posts, read 3,784,861 times
Reputation: 5561
I've been in this situation, though not with relatives. I've scripted some compliments.

"Oh, great! Are you happy with how it turned out?"
"Good! And how did you like this doctor?"
"What's your favorite change/part?" If they respond they don't what and want to know your, say their smile.
"You've always been beautiful. I'm glad for you that you were able to do this, though."
"What does [SO] think of it?"

Big smile. Hear the insecurities and hopefullness behind the words.

It's not something I would do, but if it somehow makes their life better, it's okay with me.
 
Old 08-28-2012, 07:29 PM
 
571 posts, read 1,201,074 times
Reputation: 1452
Quote:
Originally Posted by branDcalf View Post
I've been in this situation, though not with relatives. I've scripted some compliments.

"Oh, great! Are you happy with how it turned out?"
"Good! And how did you like this doctor?"
"What's your favorite change/part?" If they respond they don't what and want to know your, say their smile.
"You've always been beautiful. I'm glad for you that you were able to do this, though."
"What does [SO] think of it?"

Big smile. Hear the insecurities and hopefullness behind the words.

It's not something I would do, but if it somehow makes their life better, it's okay with me.



Ohhhhhh those comments are GOOD!
 
Old 08-28-2012, 08:01 PM
 
Location: North of Canada, but not the Arctic
21,136 posts, read 19,714,475 times
Reputation: 25661
When she arrives at your front door, open it with a blank stare and ask "May I help you?"
 
Old 08-29-2012, 06:16 AM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,917,022 times
Reputation: 18713
Just be honest. Tell her she looks like a woman who is 64 and has had two face lifts.
 
Old 08-29-2012, 06:32 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,173 posts, read 26,197,836 times
Reputation: 27914
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairieparson View Post
Just be honest. Tell her she looks like a woman who is 64 and has had two face lifts.

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