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I think it is within your right to discuss w/ your Mom how uncomfortable it makes you, and why it may limit future visits. I have noticed ppl sometimes do this around others, it seems to be self-deprecating, my son does this, not nagging but making stupid comments, when he is in my presence and his girlfriend is with us at my home...things he's never say if it were just me. I think it is unsure, nervousness, shyness. I called him on it, made a joke in fron of his girlfriend and him to break the ice, and he stopped.
I wonder if your Mom doesn't know how to talk to you, feels strained and resorts to something like this as a banter. She may not be doing this at all if you aren't there. Talk to her, maybe she needs more communication w/ you. Invite them to your place next...see if it happens there also.
Also, next time try changing the subject, compliment them as a couple, ask questions about how you make a strong marriage, etc. See if that doesn't change the mood.
I just got back from visiting my parents for a few days. They live quite a distance away. I go up to visit them a few times a year.
Every time I go to see them it seems as though my mom nags my dad more and more. Now it is at the point where every little thing he does seems to be wrong in some way. Though he has not said anything I can tell that he is getting fed up with this situation. It also makes me feel uncomfortable to even be around them anymore.
I attempted to broach the subject with my mom but she completely blew me off. They have been together for a very long time. Is this a normal thing that happens when 2 people have been together for so long? Is there anything that I can do?
Thanks.
Stay out of your parents relationship, it is between them and none of your business. If they think it needs fixed they will work it out if not they won't. I would guess that your father is a grown man who can speak for himself and will do so when he chooses to. If you do not like the way they interact with each other either quit visiting or get over it while you are there.
It's your impression, not your dad's. If it's nagging him, that would be entirely up to him to discuss it with your mom. The interesting thing about families is that we don't respect the boundaries of the relationships that are within the family unit- meaning your parent's marriage is just that: It's THEIR marriage. You may have a valid concern but how they choose to work it out (and whether or not your dad even chooses to react to it) is something they will figure out between the both of them.
^^^This.
And also keep in mind, while you hear mom nagging, you are not seeing your father's contribution to the dynamics that led to this point.
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Well if you were still at home you'd have some right to complain about it, some kids are really affected by that. But I think as their child you still do have an interest in it. Nothing wrong with discussing things with family. This society treats family like strangers sometimes. Just don't try to be the hero though.
Nagging is a wife's way of getting back at her husband for all the other women he's stared at over the years. Generally it's a 5-1 ratio of nagging to ogling.
OP hasn't told us exactly what form this "nagging" takes. And of course there's the notion widely held around these parts that any request made by a woman is a nag.
It drives my mother crazy when my father leaves the newspaper in a pile on the living room floor. Every day, she asks (one could probably claim, nags) him to pick it up. Thing is, unless my dad has suddenly become a deaf-mute, he knows that Mom wants him to pick up his newspaper. He knows exactly where the recycling bin is. Yet every day he doesn't do it.
OP hasn't told us exactly what form this "nagging" takes. And of course there's the notion widely held around these parts that any request made by a woman is a nag.
It drives my mother crazy when my father leaves the newspaper in a pile on the living room floor. Every day, she asks (one could probably claim, nags) him to pick it up. Thing is, unless my dad has suddenly become a deaf-mute, he knows that Mom wants him to pick up his newspaper. He knows exactly where the recycling bin is. Yet every day he doesn't do it.
LOL! My dad has an obnoxious habit of leaving the TV on when he is sleeping. He pulls right up against the bed...turns it up really loud. At some point he falls asleep, so you think you can turn off the TV. Nope, immediately he wakes up and says "I'm watching that!" (and he was snoring seconds before, and returns to snoring seconds later.
I think as people (and couples) get older, they just become more vocal about what annoys them.
Nagging wives. Let's hope the crocodile never gets one of those.
I need me a babe who adores me, massages me, brings me breakfast, coffee, and sends me to work with a hug and bosom press, and then as the crocodile heads out the door imprints a passionate kiss.
And then gets ready and goes for work. I'd also appreciate if she can drop me in the train station so that I don't waste 3 bucks a day. Many New England wives do that to their husbands and the crocodile stands there and thinks, "Wow, what the hell did that man do that he has such an adoring wife".
Yes it's pretty normal for many couples. Leave your parents alone. There is nothing worse than meddling adult children.
This. ^^^^
It's their relationship. Let them handle it as they will.
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