Gay and happy in Nashville, is it possible? (Memphis: college, living)

[Edgefield D]

Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents. I'm a gay man, 42 years old and have lived in Nashville since 94. I grew up an hour east of Nashville in a small town and moved back here after living in Michigan and Mississippi. I've been to lots of great cities big and small....but no matter where I go, I'm always glad to come home. I have great friends, a nice house in a cool neighborhood, a great partner of 7 years....so my view may be different than others. I love it here and I have never ever heard anyone say anything negative about my sexuality. Nashvillians tend to be nice and polite, so maybe they are saying things behind my back and I don't know it...who knows . I choose to surround myself with good people....gay and straight alike and in my circle of friends and family...it's just not a big deal. Is this utopia?? No....but I've never seen utopia...even in San Francisco or other big cities.

We have great restaurants and bars....gay and straight alike and most gay men and women take advantage of all of them....especially the cool, hip ones. I live in East Nashville....so there are more gay people here than most other areas of Nashville...but really, I know gay people that live in neighborhoods all over the city. I don't really know any that are in the areas outside of Davidson county, but I'm sure there are some. I sometimes see girls holding hands or boys with their arm around the others shoulder at a movie and I think "man...things have changed". I've never seen anyone harassed about being gay. These are just my experiences and I'm sure other people have had bad ones...but I'll feel pretty confident in saying that the good outweighs the bad by a significant number.

I would spend a little time in Nashville and see if you like the city overall...but don't put too much thought and worry into the gay thing....you'll be fine.

Good Luck

[hey teach]

About your son getting picked on. My son was not gay. He also was not football material, he was highly intelligent, and he played in the band. He was picked on, teased, and called "gay" constantly. Today he is happily married w/2 beautiful children, has a doctorate degree, works for a major company in New York, and brings in upward of two hundred thousand a year (and he is under the age of 35). He is very humble about how well he has done and would cringe that I am bragging.

Why am I telling you this? Because in middle and high school anyone who does not go along with the popular standard gets punished by being picked on and teased. Your son and any other young person should just blow it off and be true to themselves and their own desires, knowing that in the great scheme of our world everyone has insecurities and someday those who tease now will have their own demons that will tease them back.

[user123455]

Originally Posted by hey teach

About your son getting picked on. My son was not gay. He also was not football material, he was highly intelligent, and he played in the band. He was picked on, teased, and called "gay" constantly. Today he is happily married w/2 beautiful children, has a doctorate degree, works for a major company in New York, and brings in upward of two hundred thousand a year (and he is under the age of 35). He is very humble about how well he has done and would cringe that I am bragging.

Why am I telling you this? Because in middle and high school anyone who does not go along with the popular standard gets punished by being picked on and teased. Your son and any other young person should just blow it off and be true to themselves and their own desires, knowing that in the great scheme of our world everyone has insecurities and someday those who tease now will have their own demons that will tease them back.

very true. And the kids who teased him are probably in minimum pay jobs or prison

[Crakaveli]

davidson county will accept the homosexual lifestyle more than the surrounding counties.

[TXRyan23]

Originally Posted by amvanman

A whopping 81% of Tennessee voters chose to codify bigotry into its constitution by banning gay marriage.

I'm just curious... How many states allow gay marriage ?

[jabogitlu]

Marriage = New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa.

Civil Unions = New Jersey

New York and DC recognize marriages performed outside the regions.

Domestic partnerships conferring varying rights and responsibilities of marriage exist in Washington State, Oregon, California, Nevada, Colorado, Hawaii, and Maryland.

I think that's it. It can be confusing.

[TXRyan23]

Originally Posted by jabogitlu

Marriage = New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Iowa.

Civil Unions = New Jersey

New York and DC recognize marriages performed outside the regions.

Domestic partnerships conferring varying rights and responsibilities of marriage exist in Washington State, Oregon, California, Nevada, Colorado, Hawaii, and Maryland.

I think that's it. It can be confusing.

Okay, So Gay Marriage is performed in 6 states. I'll admit I'm a little surprised about Iowa, anyways, That leaves 44 states that do not allow gay marriage. Why should Tennessee get any worse of a rap then California who allowed it, then took it away ?

[jabogitlu]

I don't think anyone has given Tennessee any worse a "rap" than anywhere else that is currently denying us our rights. Yes, I'll freely admit that California's codification is clearly as bigoted and prejudiced as Tennessee's.

However, Tennessee voters approved the change by one of the largest majorities. But that had little to do with Davidson County specifically, and more to do with rural counties in TN.

[ariesjow]

Originally Posted by amvanman

Nashville is probably one of the worst places in the western world to be gay.

A little dramatic I think. Nashville certainly isn't going to turn into the gay mecca of the South any time soon but it's definitely not "one of the worst places in the western world to be gay." LOL. It's a substantially better place to be an out gay person that the vast majority of the metros in the Southeast and on par with most American cities its size. Of course, much of it depends on what an individual prefers. Not every gay person requires a city with large-scaled "gayborhoods" or big circuit scenes and/or Pride events or a city's approval of a non-discrimination policy (although the latter is always great).

Outside of maybe a few comparable cities like Las Vegas, New Orleans and Austin that are known for being more accepting of out gay people, there really isn't a significant difference between the way most similar-sized American metros treat gay people. For the most part, they all offer the same pattern of a moderate to socially liberal core with more socially conservative suburbs. The Northeast and Western cities are more progressive on LGBT issues by and large and probably extend more rights but those are also in more progressive parts of the country as a whole. I only really consider the largest U.S. metros and the occasional college town to be extremely gay-friendly.

[mrs1885]

Sign me up for disagreeing with amvanman as well.

I work in Nashville with a large number of gay people. They have had no problems at all there. I've spent time out with them after work and have seen no people giving them a hard time.

There are plenty bars, both gay and straight, that you'll find yourself welcomed in. As long as you're not out naked with rainbow paint splattered across your body and an 'in-your-face' attitude, this is actually a very accepting, live and let live city.