Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Losing my mother on Christmas definitely changed Christmas for me. It was Christmas Eve 2000 when it happened. I tried to do things the same as I did every year before that one. I locked myself in her room with her and surrounded myself with wrapping paper and all of the kids presents. My daughter was about four and my son around six.
I sat there on that cold hard wood floor and talked to my mom like she could hear me, and I am hoping she did. Throughout the day a nurse had come to check on here and we knew it wouldn't be long. I called my preacher and he came out as well. My husband took the kids to his mothers house and it was just the two of us.
I opened the bedroom door to let in some heat. It was terribly cold to the point my hands were turning a pale blue color. I had called all of my brothers and sisters and let them know what was happening and that she was not going to make it through the night. I told them the same thing two days before when they were all down to visit, but no one listened.
They were all at least four hours away trying to get here but none of them made it.
"Mom, I am going to be right back, I am getting some hot chocolate." I left her room and the rest of the house was quite warm. The hallway down was very long, almost like a bowling alley. I got the hot chocolate and half a sandwich and started back to her room to finish what I was doing.
As I stood in the doorway and looked at my mother I felt a breeze come over me and I knew she was gone. My mother waited all day long to go. She waited until I was not in there with her to leave. I felt her come over me.
I could feel the tears stream down my face as I entered her room now, setting the cup and sandwich on her dresser. I went to her side and touched her face and hair, kissing her cheek. Kissing her goodbye.
You would think I would be sad, but I wasn't. My mother had gone through so much pain with this cancer. It took so much from her until it got to the point her body and mind could not handle it and she fell into a comatose state. That had been for the last few days of her life. Every once in a while she spoke out, like she was in a time of more than thirty years prior.
I was glad that she would face no more pain, and just maybe now she would be with my father. Maybe they were able to meet again in the sky.
For many years to follow while my children were still young I tried to be happy at Christmas time, best I could.
For the last few years, I cannot say the same. I am trying to make this year different.... we shall see.
Now there seems no reason why I should carry on
In this land that once was my land I can't find a home
It's lonely and it's quiet and the horse soldiers are coming
And I think it's time I strung my bow and ceased my senseless running
For soon I'll find the yellow moon along with my loved ones
Where the buffaloes graze in clover fields without the sound of guns
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And at peace does this young warrior comes, with a bullet hole
...smile softly to myself...as i feel my Beautiful Love...touch my Heart...
...whisper softly...goodnight my Love...
i Love You...
~BloomingArtist~
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
For a Dancer
