Guys who cry (especially at movie theaters) (scenes, watching, Psycho)
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I'm not sure where this subject would belong, but feel free to move it as appropriate.
But as a guy, I find it embarrassing when I get all emotional and teary eyed, especially watching movies at the theater.
Yes, I know, I'm sure most people don't find fault with guys who cry. But for some reason I always believed guys who cried were 'weak,' and I can't stand watching guys crying like a baby in public. Especially when people like pro athletes have a press conference to retire and the sort.
When I was younger I prided myself on being able to keep my emotions in check and I never cried or showed it (for the most part).
But seems like the older I get, the more easily I get all choked up over the simplest things. Hormonal changes maybe?
It sucks in a theater though, I fight so hard not to cry during emotional scenes, so I'll choke it back and act like it's no big deal, and try not to shed tears from my teary eyes. What prompted me to create this thread was because I saw a sad movie, "Like Alice," and there were some sad scenes in the movie.
There is nothing wrong with crying. I cry. I'm nowhere near "weak" (I dint see how being emotional makes you weak) but I have emotions. Some scenes in movies bring back scenes that tug at my memories because I had a similar experience.. So you tear up. If someone thinks I'm "weak" because of it that's their problem.
Lots of men, like me, grew up learning that crying and having emotions was not what a man did, that was for babies and wimps.This early life learning is very difficult to overcome.
I don't mind crying though I rarely actually ball cry since oh 10 years old. If I do "cry" it's typically a few tears flowing while watching the first part of Up, say the 9/11 part of Dear John or allergies. I don't have shame. Most people won't realize that or in those scenes they would understand.
If I saw a man sobbing in a movie I would think it triggered
a painful loss for him.
God bless him...grief sometimes never ENDS!
I would wish he had someone to comfort him...if not, that is perfect, too.
Crying is such a wonderful thing.
(I'm sorry men have been given such a hang up about it...but
I see it in movies a lot, "Man up, bro..." Its terrible...and then the curse
of the receding hairlines!!)
Maybe you need a less guilt-free experience. Here are a few legitimate medical/psychological theories that might help:
1. Culture plays a role. Some cultures find it more acceptable than others. Translation: some cultures look down on it, forcing you to stop a normal biological process. Google "Japan crying therapy."
2. Tears help relieve stress by helping rid the body of harmful stress-related chemicals. Here's a quote attributed to several people, including British psychiatrist Henry Maudsley: "The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep."
3. There might have been social evolutionary benefits: Crying could have served as a bonding tool that has persisted over the centuries.
4. Empathy may play a role. This has something to do with oxytocin levels in the brain, and grey matter which can't make the distinction between real life and what you see in movies.
5. People can cry over things of beauty because it taps into deeper places of the brain. This could be art, music, awesome movie scenes. There's a build-up of energy with such feelings, and tears are a release.
(There are much more scientific explanations of this, but trying to write one of them down made my brain explode. I read a really simplistic and validating explanation of this a few years ago, but couldn't find it.)
Basically, you're not being weak by shedding a tear. It's ingrained in humans.
I don't care about crying in front of others now - but when I was younger, I only cried over two movies: Old Yeller and Beaches.
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