Interracial relationships among South Asian people (weddings, school, living)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm really curious to know if there are any South Asians here who have been or are in an interracial relationship. What are some of the obstacles you guys have faced regarding your relationship? I'm also interested in hearing from people who have been/are in relationships with South Asians.
My friend (South Asian) is living with her boyfriend (Hispanic) and she's constantly being pressured by her parents to get married to him. So this made me wonder if other South Asians have also faced similar issues.
I'm really curious to know if there are any South Asians here who have been or are in an interracial relationship. What are some of the obstacles you guys have faced regarding your relationship? I'm also interested in hearing from people who have been/are in relationships with South Asians.
My friend (South Asian) is living with her boyfriend (Hispanic) and she's constantly being pressured by her parents to get married to him. So this made me wonder if other South Asians have also faced similar issues.
At the end of the day, it really does depend on the family and their individual values and beliefs. I am half south asian half white, so obviously my parents were in an interracial relationship, and I have a number of relatives in interracial relationships of the type you described. While many South Asians come from socially conservative families that are wary of marrying out, amongst the professional classes that made up a large proportion of immigrants to Canada until recent decades you'll get variable attitudes family to family, same with old school families whose roots in Canada go back many decades.
To be general, marriage is important in Desi cultures. As such, people I know who had boyfriends or girlfriends from either their own culture or a different one sometimes kept them secret from their families right up until the time they wanted to get married. I am getting married in a few months and my fiancee is a Canadian of European descent. One minor point of contention in planning the wedding was balancing her families' tradition of modest, small, cheap weddings with my family's... more Indian expectations. That of course also had class elements involved to, but in the end it wasn't that hard to compromise. There is also the matter of the ceremony. We aren't taking this approach (going with a fusion ceremony), but the most common thing I've seen is two wedding ceremonies back to back, one from whatever religion the Desi person is, and one from the culture of the other person.
For the most part there haven't really been any more serious challenges with marrying or dating people from other ethnic backgrounds amongst my South Asian family then would be expected with families of other ethnic origins. As I said though, we are the way we are, and certainly I've encountered xenophobic, insular Desi people who would have had more of an issue with it. Same of course can be said for any ethnic group.
At the end of the day, it really does depend on the family and their individual values and beliefs. I am half south asian half white, so obviously my parents were in an interracial relationship, and I have a number of relatives in interracial relationships of the type you described. While many South Asians come from socially conservative families that are wary of marrying out, amongst the professional classes that made up a large proportion of immigrants to Canada until recent decades you'll get variable attitudes family to family, same with old school families whose roots in Canada go back many decades.
To be general, marriage is important in Desi cultures. As such, people I know who had boyfriends or girlfriends from either their own culture or a different one sometimes kept them secret from their families right up until the time they wanted to get married. I am getting married in a few months and my fiancee is a Canadian of European descent. One minor point of contention in planning the wedding was balancing her families' tradition of modest, small, cheap weddings with my family's... more Indian expectations. That of course also had class elements involved to, but in the end it wasn't that hard to compromise. There is also the matter of the ceremony. We aren't taking this approach (going with a fusion ceremony), but the most common thing I've seen is two wedding ceremonies back to back, one from whatever religion the Desi person is, and one from the culture of the other person.
For the most part there haven't really been any more serious challenges with marrying or dating people from other ethnic backgrounds amongst my South Asian family then would be expected with families of other ethnic origins. As I said though, we are the way we are, and certainly I've encountered xenophobic, insular Desi people who would have had more of an issue with it. Same of course can be said for any ethnic group.
Can I ask which country in South Asia you are from as well as the religion you practice? While I agree with you that it depends on the family and their values and beliefs, I have found certain correlation either with the religion or the gender of the South Asian person in the interracial relationship. In terms of religion, I found that Muslim South Asian people tend to hide the relationship from their parents unless, as you've stated, they want to get married. I also found that South Asian women are expected to marry their partners if they are with them for a long time and they cannot cohabit with them if it does not lead to marriage some time in the future.
The fusion ceremony is what most South Asians in interracial relationships do since, I'm assuming, it does not offend the family of either person. Seeing as how you're not going to take this approach, how did you come to a decision regarding the type of ceremony you want to perform for your wedding?
I think that it could be that because you are half white and half South Asian, you haven't faced any serious challenges regarding the acceptance of your relationship but can the same be said about your parents?
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,061,860 times
Reputation: 28903
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittylover14
Apparently we're not allowed to make threads about race there..
Oh my! I didn't know that. I think that your question is a good one -- it's about race, yes, but it's not racist. Well, the rules are the rules, I guess.
Can I ask which country in South Asia you are from as well as the religion you practice? While I agree with you that it depends on the family and their values and beliefs, I have found certain correlation either with the religion or the gender of the South Asian person in the interracial relationship. In terms of religion, I found that Muslim South Asian people tend to hide the relationship from their parents unless, as you've stated, they want to get married. I also found that South Asian women are expected to marry their partners if they are with them for a long time and they cannot cohabit with them if it does not lead to marriage some time in the future.
The fusion ceremony is what most South Asians in interracial relationships do since, I'm assuming, it does not offend the family of either person. Seeing as how you're not going to take this approach, how did you come to a decision regarding the type of ceremony you want to perform for your wedding?
I think that it could be that because you are half white and half South Asian, you haven't faced any serious challenges regarding the acceptance of your relationship but can the same be said about your parents?
It kind of feels like you're asking me to defend a position here, but I haven't any position to defend, I just shared my life. You've made a few sweeping generalizations in your response, but I never claimed that my life was a generalizable one. I don't think I really want to tell you anymore if you're just going to put us into neat little boxes.
Oh my! I didn't know that. I think that your question is a good one -- it's about race, yes, but it's not racist. Well, the rules are the rules, I guess.
Can I ask which country in South Asia you are from as well as the religion you practice? While I agree with you that it depends on the family and their values and beliefs, I have found certain correlation either with the religion or the gender of the South Asian person in the interracial relationship. ..... < snip > ....... I think that it could be that because you are half white and half South Asian, you haven't faced any serious challenges regarding the acceptance of your relationship but can the same be said about your parents?
Kittylover14, this all leads me to ask what country are you from, what is your race and what religion do you practice?
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
17,330 posts, read 33,061,860 times
Reputation: 28903
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcenal352
Everything's racist nowadays. Didn't you know?
There are no lines, so I had to read between the words. No, I read between the syllables. You just called me a greedy Jew, didn't you?
(Relax, everyone. I *am* Jewish... AND self-deprecating AND I can take a joke, especially from Arcenal.)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
