Funny Police Reports in Montana papers (Bozeman, Manhattan: health insurance, credit card, buy)

[happiness is]

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following:

• A boyfriend and girlfriend had an argument at a bar and had to be separated. They were heavily intoxicated. Officers helped the couple reunite.
• A couple was told they couldn’t be in a park after 11 p.m.
• A woman told police a man was stalking her. Her ex-boyfriend was ruled out as a suspect.
• Officers responded to 142 calls.

The Gallatin County Sheriff’s Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

• A man was walking to work along Huffine Lane in a snowstorm. A deputy gave him a ride.
• A person on Cameron Bridge Road reported a trespass in progress. The person is a cancer patient and on a heavy dose of medication. The person also had a small amount of alcohol, causing him to have delusions.
• A man wanted to know how to evict his roommate because he didn’t want him around anymore.
• Three horses were loose on Bridger Canyon Drive.
• Deputies responded to 123 calls.

[Montguy]

God, I love this thread...it really does paint a beautiful picture of a modern-day Mayberry...with a substance-abuse problem.

[happiness is]

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

• An intoxicated woman was checked on after she fell in a Rouse Avenue alley at 1:30 a.m.
• Officers checked on an intoxicated man who was sitting in his car at 1:40 a.m. on Main Street. He was warned.
• A vehicle parked in a Cherry Drive driveway had its driver’s door and driver’s-side passenger door open. Nothing looked to be damaged or stolen. The doors were closed.
• Two people parked in the Kirk Park parking lot at 3 a.m. were playing loud music.
• Pigeons were removed from Story Mansion and released to the wild.
• A person stopped an officer and expressed appreciation for patrol in a school zone.
• Officers responded to a hit and run to a power pole at the intersection of Babcock Street and 11th Avenue. There was about $3,000 worth of damage, but no suspect.
• An officer spoke to a person concerned about traffic violations. The person suggested that police make a public service announcement about safe driving.
• A person bought a car the previous night from an intoxicated man. The person couldn’t find a vehicle inspection number for the car and the paperwork wasn’t matching up.
• A woman who was seen on video stealing from a store ran after being confronted.
• An intoxicated man passed out in an apartment complex hallway. He was checked on. He said he was OK, but he drank too much.
• A man stopped and cited for having an open container of alcohol on Main Street at 11:25 p.m. was arrested for an outstanding warrant.
• Officers responded to 139 calls.

The Gallatin County Sheriff’s Office reports for Thursday included the following:

• Half of a recliner chair was in the lane of traffic on Interstate 90.
• A caller wanted to talk to a deputy about getting rid of a tenant.
• A renter who lived in a person’s house while the person was gone for six months reportedly stole a bunch of property.
• A man who appeared intoxicated was asking people to borrow a knife at the Cameron Bridge fishing access.
• A man who was picking up garbage on Amsterdam Road said his neighbor came out and threatened to shoot the man’s son.
• A woman called to say she still had her ex’s shirt, dog tags and necklace. She was told to mail them back to him.
• A caller was upset because a rancher was chasing elk on his four-wheeler. The caller thought the rancher was harassing the elk. The caller was informed that this isn’t against the law.
• Deputies responded to 116 calls.

[happiness is]

I wonder what a "bicycle group" is.


The Bozeman Police Department reports for Wednesday included the following:

• A caller wanted to let dispatch know that a certain person is a “bad, bad man.”
• An intoxicated man who was reportedly trying to fight someone at a Tai Lane bar at 12:25 a.m. was warned for disorderly conduct.
• A man was cited for urinating in public outside of the Molly Brown at 1:50 a.m.
• A Bozeman woman was arrested for theft after stealing a purse full of steaks from a 19th Avenue store.
• A man who had his vehicle impounded by the police wanted to know if it had been released yet.
• An injured duck was in front of 19th Avenue businesses. The duck was still mobile.
• A person reported that neighbors were having a drum circle in their backyard at 9:50 p.m. When officers arrived, they found two people playing guitars. They were asked to call it a night.
• Officers responded to 150 calls.

The Gallatin County Sheriff’s Office reports for Wednesday included the following:

• A woman reported that a bicycle group has moved into her subdivision. She said they race up and down the streets. She wanted to know if she has any say in the matter.
• A man found some of his mail on the ground near his house. It appeared it had been gone through.
• A man saw a mountain lion run across Interstate 90 east of Bozeman. He was concerned about the lion’s proximity to homes.
• A tanker truck struck an elk on Gallatin Road.
• Deputies responded to 124 calls.

[happiness is]

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

• A caller told dispatch he was “much too intoxicated” to drive. He was apologetic for calling 911 and was given a number to a taxi service.
• A man was cited after he damaged a door trying to enter what he believed was his friend’s residence.
• An intoxicated man told officers that he was chased after drinking a couple of beers that belonged to someone else.
• A person complained about an abandoned boat on Candle Lane that looked “tacky.”
• A jogger who was running with a German shepherd off leash was warned.
• A woman’s 27-year-old son reportedly threw a rock at her truck.
• While a woman was in the process of reporting her cellphone missing, her boyfriend called saying he had her phone.
• A woman said she is having a problem with high school kids congregating and littering on her property.
• Multiple cans of beer, both opened and unopened, were removed from the middle of Main Street.
• A woman had questions about skunk traps.
• A driver was warned for driving the wrong way on Interstate 90.
• Officers responded to 168 calls.

The Gallatin County Sheriff’s Office reports for Thursday included the following:

• Masonry equipment was stolen from an Oro Lane address.
• A woman thought someone shot at her car. Her back window was shattered and there was a small hole in the middle.
• A man who was eating dinner with his parents accidentally called dispatch.
• A cow was out on the side of Cameron Bridge Road.
• Deputies responded to 115 calls.

[DontLookPhoto]

Originally Posted by Montguy

God, I love this thread...it really does paint a beautiful picture of a modern-day Mayberry...with a substance-abuse problem.

I have had a few laughs reading all this stuff but the thread title is "Funny Police Reports in Montana papers" and when you really read them carefully many aren't funny at all and many are quite sad.

I also think that we just violated the sites TOS by posting "off topic"

[Reziac]

Originally Posted by happiness is

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Sunday included the following:
[list][*]A rust-colored chicken crossed Durston Road near Michael Grove Avenue around 5:15 p.m.

There's a question I want to ask that chicken.

[happiness is]

Yes, I think of how some of these are not funny reports, but sad, and I also edit out some of the reports in a day's list. I thought when I started the thread that others would post from their towns, but apparently Gallatin County and Bozeman reports in the Bozeman Chronicle are the only ones easily available to the public.

You can also follow the Bozeman city police twitter account and get the funniest of the reports that they send out as tweets.

[happiness is]

This weekend was Montana State U. graduation.


The Bozeman Police Department reports for Friday included the following:

• An intoxicated woman who accidentally called 911 was getting more and more agitated when dispatch called her back. She said she was fine and that the dispatcher was wasting her minutes.
• Two Springer Spaniels were out chasing cars down St. Andrew Drive.
• A caller wanted to borrow a live trap to catch a cat.
• A caller complained about noise from a graduation party. Party-goers were warned to keep it quiet, but the caller was also reminded that it isn’t unreasonable for them to have a graduation party on a Friday afternoon.

[DontLookPhoto]

Our little town has had trouble keeping a newspaper. Lately when we get someone who has the time to publish one they run out of money, time etc. but there is always something funny in them.
The real funny stuff that goes on here isn't generally fit to print.