[michigandersrforever]

I have a little problem. My girlfriend and i have been together for almost seven years. Not married and we arent planning on, no kids and noy planning on it. We are both in our mid twenties and she has a four year degree and i work as a collision repair man. Here's the problem, her job got transfered a year and a half ago from midmichigan to houston tx. I have always liked midmichigan my family is there her family is in upper lower michigan we lived there our whole lives. The agreement was that we could give it a year and see how things went. Obviously she loves the heat and i die in it. I love the winter and she hates the cold. She dont want to move back and i do. We have no family here we have nothing, we rent a house we own both of our vehicles we have no kids nothing and i dont know what to do. Others came down here from her work so we call them friends but they arent. I have tried to like it, i need my fall, my winter, my family and we have had conversations about it and arguments but i havent left. I wont ever say that either for leverage, she sayd that she will never move back and i want to now. I feel depressed i call my family and friends from up there ten times a week. I miss the country life not this ten lanes of traffic rude people that i meet everday. I have tried to talk to her and she wont hear me, so should i be miserable or just tell her i'm moving back. i dont want to force her to leave her job or somewhere she likes but how can she ask me to stay here. Any helpful advice would be great

[JGatti]

Sounds like you know what you need or want to do. Are you asking because your not sure if it's selfish? Or do you need reassuring? If you know your never getting married and will never have kids. Pack up your **** and head home. Sounds to me like there is nothing to stay there for that you can't find back here.

[Michigansnowflake]

Follow your heart and make YOU happy!

[zthatzmanz28]

Amtrak....

[Bydand]

Well, after being married for a while now I can tell you ANY long term relationship that is actually going to last is a series of compromises made by BOTH individuals. You made one with the understanding that it was going to be a trial for 1 year, that time is up and you hate it there (don't blame you at all, I lived in Texas for a couple years myself). Her digging in her heals and saying she isn't going to leave, is basically telling you she is going to pick location over you. Pack your bags and get the Hell out of Dodge. IF she wants you more than sunshine and Houston she will pack her things right along side of you, if not... well that's her choice.

[Tyryztoll]

The fact that you both appear to be more concerned with where you are rather than who you're with tells me all I need to know.

Come back to Michigan and find someone you can settle down with here. Just for the record, I am against couples living together outside of marriage for this very reason.....although I am happy to hear there are no children involved in this case. Sorry if I offend due to my stance on this, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention it.

[michigandersrforever]

thanks for the quick replies and sometimes reassurance even from a stranger is what is needed. i will weigh some options and try to talk to her again i think and then if she still dont want to move back, and i already know the answer but i'm gonna try the benifit of the doubt if she still says no then michigan you have a son coming home. And northman no it didnt offend me but when we been together longer than ninety percent of our friends have been married well would it be easier for you if we met then after one year got married moved in with each other and had kids and have this same conversation i dont know no hard feelings though

[JGatti]

I thought of something I should have included in my response. I made the mistake of letting a woman dictate my life, married her, divorced her. Five years wasted and a bankruptcy is all I had to show for it. BUT I learned a lot from the experience and swore never to repeat it. I was young and stupid. Like someone else stated, follow your heart. If you miss home so much you spend more time on the phone back home than going out there I think you know what you need to do. When you get back there is a message at the border. Welcome to Michigan aka ( home)

[Tyryztoll]

Originally Posted by michigandersrforever

thanks for the quick replies and sometimes reassurance even from a stranger is what is needed. i will weigh some options and try to talk to her again i think and then if she still dont want to move back, and i already know the answer but i'm gonna try the benifit of the doubt if she still says no then michigan you have a son coming home. And northman no it didnt offend me but when we been together longer than ninety percent of our friends have been married well would it be easier for you if we met then after one year got married moved in with each other and had kids and have this same conversation i dont know no hard feelings though

Well, my point was that when you are married, you're (supposedly) in it for the long haul, and have a bigger reason to work through things like this without just up and bailing.

That said, you are young, and this sounds like it's been a good learning experience for you. If your first post was accurate, I highly doubt she's comin' back, so come on home, buddy. Ya got yer whole life in front of ya....no point in spending another minute in a place you got no desire to be in. Unless you're really in love..........which you obviously aren't, because if you were it wouldn't matter if you were living on top of a trash heap in northeastern Somalia.....you would be staying just to be with her.

[michmoldman]

She loves the heat...you love the snow.....Come on home!