[Sharon04247]

Looking for advice from people who don't have an invested interest in the result. I currently live in southwest MI. My husband and I both have good jobs. If we choose to stay we could afford to purchase a nice home right now. We have absolutely no family in MI and just had our first child. I have a job opportunity that would bring us closer to family but in a much higher cost of living area. Pay is about 10,000 more but I think it primarily would just go to housing. (Rent is twice what we are paying now and there is no way we could afford to buy). If we decided to take the leap we would live on my income while my husband continued his job search. Would you make the move or do I just need to be reminded about all the great things MI has to offer?

[zthatzmanz28]

Just be reminded that $10K increase to cover housing does not include possible increase in food, medical and automobile costs---and your husband may be a long way out from finding employment equal to what he has now. Every month he is out of work puts your family further behind.

Alternative scenario might be to make the move, find cheaper housing and cut majority of expenses--which obviously requires a huge change in lifestyle.

We made the move in 2009, but we had NOTHING but the $800 to get us to NC for work. We would have never gone if we were both employed--even if ONE of us had been employed we would have stayed.

[Republic of Michigan]

Well, you have to ask a few questions.
1)Will you be able to get another job opportunity in the future? How easy is it for your husband to get a job? Also will your family be helping you taking care of your child? If yes, that helps beyond belief and relocating would be beneficial.

[dragon_fly_12]

Exactly.

Talking from experience when my ex and I moved to NC in 2009. We left because we both had job opportunity that did result in better pay and more training. The trade off was HUGE cost in living differences. An example: the butt cream for the kiddo was $9.98 in NC but $3.98 in MI.

First, and foremost .. determine if you need to be closer to the family with the little one. I had my boy in 2012 while living in NC and the only help we had was hired help. We were struggling. It was on "our" (I say this loosely as this is about the time his affair started that resulted in separation / divorce) best interest to get some help from family and be closer to home. Moving back home, despite the jobs, was #1 on our priority list after the wee one came into the world. If you and the spouse determine that you need the extra help, then you need to come up with a gameplan. Or, see if either of you have a relative that can stay with you for extended periods just to help out.

If you both mutually agree that being closer to family is better for you as a family unit, start prepping. Take the job there while he stays behind banking cash until he can land a job. Stay with family on the move so you can bank some money. Make sacrifices so that you can make it happen without going in the hole.

[Sharon04247]

Answer to some questions. My husband would likely have a difficult time finding work. I am expecting he will be out of work for at least 6 months but we do have savings that could carry us if needed. Family would be closer but not in the same town. We could easily visit them on weekends but would not be able to help much during the week. Still our son would see them more frequently than once or twice a year like now.

[mostie]

I think, were it me, I would definitely stay in Michigan. Quite a few reasons for that- for one, it's Michigan, lol- gorgeous place, so many things to see, nature, etc.- Secondly, you and your husband both have good jobs already-and you're able to buy a nice home. In other words, things are secure at a time when job insecurity abounds. Homes are priced low, you can definitely get more bang for your buck- would you be able to do that where you are looking at possibly relocating?

Another thing- yes, you would be closer to family- but you stated that they wouldn't be in the same town, so wouldn't be able to help much during the week. If your husband doesn't have a job lined up in the new place, that is frightening- there is no telling when, or if, he would be able to find comparable employment wherever it is you are looking to relocate to. The job market is so up in the air right now, and it's definitely an employers world out there. If you're thinking that it would take him around six months to find employment in the new place, I would double that thought to a year, just to be on the safe side- because chances are, it could take a lot longer than six months. Life sort of sucks these days, in the sense that so many people have to live so far away from other family members because of employment- but what can a person do, you know? During the Depression, my grandfather used to "ride the rails" as they called it, looking for employment in every corner of the country, while my grandmother and the kids were at home. This is just the way things were, sadly.

I guess what it really comes down to, is; what means more to you? You could move closer to family, but you probably won't have the stability that you have now- yet you would be closer to them- the trade-off would be....financial, for sure. And you would be giving up good jobs where you are, and the ability to buy a home, and...financial stability. So like I said, I guess it just comes down to what it is that you really want. I can give a sort-of example; We lived in Nebraska (oh how I hate Nebraska, haha) for three years. The reason that we went there, was because of the low unemployment- were were in N. MI, then CA (where I have family), and there were just no jobs to be had in either place- and we both have degrees. My husband was lucky enough to find a job with the Federal Govt. while we were in NE, and eventually he was able to transfer to the U.P. in that job, which is what we wanted so much-to be back in MI (husband is from here, and I love it here). The trade-off was in NE, we were doing really well financially, husband had moved up in his job and had to take a step down in order for us to move here. We knew that it was going to be difficult financially if we moved here, but we hated Nebraska with a passion (long story)-we tried to figure out what was more important, better finances, or being where we really wanted to be- and we opted for the latter. It hasn't been easy, but we were able to buy a home and we're here now for the long haul. I haven't been able to find work here (there isn't much without commuting to Marquette, which in the winter is out of the question for me- I'm a Snow Pansy, lol), but we do love it here.

So after my long-winded reply, lol....bottom line? Follow your heart. But think it through. Chances are if you make a decision to leave, it won't be easily undone and the good jobs you have now will be a thing of the past. Just make sure you want to live with that choice if you make it. Good luck to you!

[cmuguy25]

I think you have really examine your priorities.

Is the biggest priority being by family? Is it getting a house? Is it that your current jobs are terrible and want new ones?

All these questions come into play and only your husband and you can answer (and child too).

From what you posted (and I obviously don't know all the details, but this just from the discussion), I would say stay in Michigan for a while. If you have a newborn, as great as it would be to have your family around, stay and save money. You do not need to rush home ownership, continue to rent. Give your family time, saving a nice down payment while your child is young. Once it comes time to start school, maybe start the search to go back home. This way you will have money saved up and feel a little more financially secure. (If it will take sometime for a new job search)

If your child is in school, do they want to leave? Do you both have jobs you enjoy? Does your child like their school? Job satisfaction is hard to come by too. You could move home and get a job that you hate (or your husband).

Ultimately, if you decide being close to family is the most important, than you could/should move. But, if you can hold out a few more years and remember the good things that brought you to the area, financially I think that makes the most sense.

Good luck!

[belleislerunner]

Seeing as financial pressure is the leading cause of divorce, I'm not sure why you'd willingly sabotage your family.

[Arthur Digby Sellers]

If it were to bring you significantly closer to your family (like minutes away) I would lean towards yes since a family support system makes raising children so much easier. However, it sounds like they might be a few hours away, which really wouldn't provide much more of a support system, if any. I have friends who did the same thing and were 6 hours away from relatives as opposed to a long plane ride. It ended up leaving them more isolated as they had to adjust to a new area without having their family very close by. I guess it all depends on the value you place on being able to spend more time on them. Its a tough decision. Good luck.

[-tr]

Definitely get a solid job offer for your husband before considering the move.