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Old 08-12-2011, 01:46 PM
 
219 posts, read 333,918 times
Reputation: 26

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im trying to come up with a long distance parenting plan for my ex with my attorney and i cant think of anything. When we went to the mediator she said my daughter wasnt ready for overnights with him yet so me sending her to michigan for a week or so isnt a good idea. Im so confused because i want a judge to look at it and understand that im not trying to move to keep them two apart but without any overnights yet im hitting a big wall. What do you think is a good parenting plan if we were told my daughters not ready to spend the night yet?

A little background: My daughter is 3 yrs old and her father and i have been seperated since i was 4 months pregnant. He was never in her life until this May 2011 when he was told through a mutual friend that me and my husband of 2.5 yrs was moving in Jan. 2012. He then filed for joint custody and visitation. He was denied joint custody due to the fact my daughter doesnt know he's her father but was given supervised visitations on every wednesday for 3 hrs. I am now filing my motion for change of domicile because my husband has a GREAT job offer in Texas. My ex is contesting to the move because he says he wants our daughter for 2 weeks every month and he cant get that if we move from michigan.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:24 PM
 
Location: North of Canada, but not the Arctic
21,097 posts, read 19,697,247 times
Reputation: 25612
I don't see how a judge could give your ex any privileges that you weren't okay with. Your ex neglected her for 3 1/2 years and now he wants to make her life miserable by forcing her to cross the country for two weeks every month so he can...? ...further neglect her???

Good luck, but I don't think you'll have a problem unless you get a dumb judge, which is always a possibility.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:26 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,259 posts, read 14,672,147 times
Reputation: 3460
Let's back up.
Why did you not get him involved earlier? He is a stranger to her.
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Indiana
93 posts, read 212,170 times
Reputation: 156
No advice right now, but good luck for you and your family!
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:41 PM
 
219 posts, read 333,918 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mt-7 View Post
Let's back up.
Why did you not get him involved earlier? He is a stranger to her.
he moved to another state 8 hrs away and married someone he met on facebook. I was still pregnant and in michigan.
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Old 08-12-2011, 10:33 PM
 
Location: North of Canada, but not the Arctic
21,097 posts, read 19,697,247 times
Reputation: 25612
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmykids08_10 View Post
he moved to another state 8 hrs away and married someone he met on facebook. I was still pregnant and in michigan.
Ha! It was okay for him to move away to a different state and leave you here alone and pregnant, but now he wants to (effectively) prevent you and your daughter from moving? What nerve! This guy is a Class A Hypocrite!
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Old 08-13-2011, 12:44 PM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,677,756 times
Reputation: 22474
Would they take a plan like having your ex travel to Texas on a regular basis to visit her? Greyhound is affordable.
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Old 08-13-2011, 01:05 PM
 
219 posts, read 333,918 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Would they take a plan like having your ex travel to Texas on a regular basis to visit her? Greyhound is affordable.
im not sure i think by me being the one to move im responsible for the transportation part.
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Old 08-13-2011, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Midwest transplant
2,050 posts, read 5,941,885 times
Reputation: 1623
You need a new lawyer~a barracuda type that will agree to summer and perhaps a holiday, and that they ex will have to arrange and pay for. He skipped out on you while pregnant and child support? He can pay now.
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Old 08-14-2011, 06:30 AM
 
4,861 posts, read 9,305,427 times
Reputation: 7762
I'm not very familiar with these situations, but, and correct me if I'm wrong, for him to be a part of her life, even on such a limited basis, wouldn't he have to pay some kind of child support? It's always been my understanding that once a person claims themself to be the father of the child, then they are obligated to pay or they can't see the child.

Do you want your daughter's father in her life? I ask this because some mothers don't because the biological father is really just a jerk who would be nothing but a detriment to their child, while their stepparent is a much better father and role model, so they would be happy just letting the stepparent be their child's father. If you would like him to be out of the picture, why not have your lawyer draw up for him exactly how much it will cost him financially if he insists on seeing your daughter for 3 hrs. every Wednesday? If he truly is trying to be a good dad and has good intentions, he won't care. If he is only about trying to mess up your life and your move, he will balk and possibly sign off parental rights for once and for all. This is what happened in one case that I am aware of. The biological father only wanted to see the kids to mess up the mom's plans, but once he found out how much it was going to hit him in the wallet he was like, "Kids? What kids?" and effectively signed himself out of their lives forever. Those kids have to be better off not seeing their biological dad at all than spending time with him just to get at their mom. You know what they say, "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad."

Good luck.
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