legal advice (lawyer, employment, place to live)

tjay · 07-10-2010, 08:10 PM

so i'm trying to get a divorce, which should be easy since its amicable and he is not going to fight me on custody of our daughter. i tell the lawyer both on the phone and in an email that i want sole physical and legal custody. what does she do? she puts JOINT custody in my complaint! this isn't the only thing she's done, but the major thing. i'm so angry! so i have tried to contact her, i've left messages saying i want this fixed, because this is not acceptable to me. she says that if i wait the 6 months the judge SHOULD let me have sole custody anyway. i don't want to wait and see, what if the judge doesn't do that? it was her mistake and i want it fixed. but she won't return my calls or let me know anything at all. its been a week since i contacted her.

can this be fixed? does anyone know? i also want my $ back from this person who calls herself a lawyer.....would that be a small claims thing? if i don't hear anything by monday night i'm going to schedule an appt. to talk to a different lawyer. just wondering if this chick can really get away with this???

Wingnatic · 07-11-2010, 07:19 AM

Your attorney should be communicating with you . The Court and Friend Of The Court would like nothing better than to see people who divorce work out all agreements on their own , it makes their jobs easier , but their also there to protect the child and preserve parental rights as well . You'll probably get the main custody of the child , but if your soon to be ex wants visitation , and the Court can't find a reason why he shouldn't , its his right to see his child . Maybe your attorney was thinking that you would have no chance of getting '' sole'' custody , but that should have been discussed between you two before filing the court papers . If your soon to be ex is of good character , meaning he's not in trouble with the law etc . , your relationship with him has nothing to do with his relationship with his child and you should be promoting one between the two .

tjay · 07-11-2010, 12:25 PM

we did work it out between us, there is nothing to argue over. he AGREES to me having sole custody, and he knows he can come see her whenever he wants to. he does have issues with the law, drug use, not helping financially or helping at all for that matter. so it would basically remain exactly as it is now.....the attorney has blatantly messed up and i'm frustrated because she doesn't make much of an effort to contact me or communicate. thus, the point of this thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wingnatic

your relationship with him has nothing to do with his relationship with his child and you should be promoting one between the two .

like i said, he can come see her whenever he wants. so far its been once in the two years of her life. and as far as i'm concerned, just because you donated some sperm doesn't make you a father. it doesn't give you the right to anything. you get rights when you do the work. when you wake up early every day of their lives to take care of them, have (very) limited free time, financially support them, take care of physical needs, kiss boo boos, play with, go on outings, pack diaper bags for the day, and the list goes ON AND ON! THAT is when you can call yourself a parent, and THAT is when you have a RIGHT to your child.

Wingnatic · 07-11-2010, 03:58 PM

My apologies , I didn't know the specifics . I'm assuming she has already filed papers in the Court . I'd talk with her or leave a message that you'll complain to the court if she doesn't answer you . If your soon to be ex does have a record , you may be able to prevent visitation . Good luck to you and your child , I hope everything works out for you

dragon_fly_12 · 07-12-2010, 10:40 AM

News flash with MI FofC system - my father has been involved with MI's FofC system for at least 24 years, I do have an idea of what is going on despite not having a FofC situation myself. The court wants to see both parents involved, your attorney did right by filing joint. If father doesn't want joint, it can be amended. I do agree that your attorney needs to have better communication with you.

Rule #1 - don't make your custody decisions based on the child support. Rule #2 - don't make your custody decisions based on child support. Rule #3 - Follow the rules that FofC want to see in a custody case, ask questions as necessary, and keep in mind that FofC wants to see equal rights to both parents. If you try to pull something over on the court, you're only d***ing yourself. For example, my cousin (female) filed a child support modification because she had visitation 98% of the time, dad was not picking up son for the visitation. She filed for the amendment without filing for a custody amendment. FofC reworked the support so that my cousin now has to pay her ex because she makes more than he does despite him not seeing the kid - only because the custody order said joint equal time.

tjay · 07-12-2010, 07:46 PM

haha, i am not basing anything on child support. he's an ex felon, involved with drugs, doesn't work, has no decent place to live, LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE and has only seen his child one time in two years. he is free to see her whenever he wants. this has NOTHING to do with child support. the lawyer filed joint because she's incompetent, not because she made a good decision. not to mention, i only hired her to draw up my paper's, she's not coming to court with me. the sperm donor agreed to me having sole custody. did you even read what i wrote? i don't understand your response.

sunshineann · 07-13-2010, 05:18 AM

Best advice i could give, is seek advice from a different attorney to see how they or if they can handle it better.

DONNIEANDDONNA417 · 07-13-2010, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tjay

haha, i am not basing anything on child support. he's an ex felon, involved with drugs, doesn't work, has no decent place to live, LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE and has only seen his child one time in two years. he is free to see her whenever he wants. this has NOTHING to do with child support. the lawyer filed joint because she's incompetent, not because she made a good decision. not to mention, i only hired her to draw up my paper's, she's not coming to court with me. the sperm donor agreed to me having sole custody. did you even read what i wrote? i don't understand your response.

sounds like you are trying to tell the attorney how to do her job and shes probably offended by it. I wouldnt call you back either.

Lindseyup67 · 07-13-2010, 06:47 AM

Sounds to me as if the attorney is trying to do things her way, with no regard to her client! She sounds like an egotistical ***** (there ARE people like that out there!). I would contact the divorce court and talk to the clerk and see what u can do. I would also write the judge that will be hearing your case a letter explaining what is going on. And be SURE to get another attorney. Tell them what happened with the other one (money u gave her, etc.) and they should be able to tell u what to do.

dragon_fly_12 · 07-13-2010, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tjay

haha, i am not basing anything on child support. he's an ex felon, involved with drugs, doesn't work, has no decent place to live, LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE and has only seen his child one time in two years. he is free to see her whenever he wants. this has NOTHING to do with child support. the lawyer filed joint because she's incompetent, not because she made a good decision. not to mention, i only hired her to draw up my paper's, she's not coming to court with me. the sperm donor agreed to me having sole custody. did you even read what i wrote? i don't understand your response.

Yes, I did read what you said.

The attorneys job is to put you in good favor with the FofC, and judge if need be. Going for the jugular right off the bat may not put you in good favor.

If you want sole custody, you'll need to supply the court with a record to show that dad is not in the picture, is not a fit parent and/or not an appropriate home. Think about it - the FofC system sees THOUSANDS of cases with both parents battling for sole custody. The court is in a position to create "fair," and many of the cases presented are parents that are making up stuff about the other to gain an edge in the custody battle. In their eyes, what makes YOUR case different? Absolutely nothing.

If dad doesn't want to be in the picture anyway, having joint is not an issue. It is a technicality on the document for now that can be amended. If you want to go into the session looking like you really do have your s*** together with your sole custody request, create a calendar and log book noting every single communication / visitation / attempt to make contact between the dad and the child. It needs to be an unbiased, 3rd party record of what happened on what date. Create a file to demonstrate dad's stability, employment stability, criminal record. Stick with facts and make it unbiased. Hearsay is frowned upon and can't be taken into consideration. If you can get him to put the custody agreement in writing and have it notarized, then you have documentation that can't be disputed.

Since the attorney you're working with is a practicing attorney who's probably been around the block a couple times with this whole custody thing, I would expect she probably knows a thing or two. You, on the other hand, are still pretty green in the process.