PTSD and 73 y.o. Mom (Alzheimers, paranoid, dementia, medication)

[tarragon]

Hi, I've been trying to read other posts to see if any of it fits my mom. I have not spoken with my mom for nearly 5 yrs now. It all started when my DH and I came back from a vacation 5 yrs ago. We rec'd a knock on the door from a state trooper. He wanted to talk to us separately! At first I thought something had happened to one of our children. He said that my mother had lodged a complaint that we had stolen items from her! I was never so hurt and shocked in my entire life. I know growing up she always thought people stole from her, but us 3 children just use to shrug it off thinking that maybe she had misplaced stuff. Anyhow, from that visit, it turned into I was trying to poison her, I was peeking in her windows at night, breaking into her home etc., Unfortunately, she has my 86 y.o. r father believing her. She has also accused my younger sister of conspiring with me. My younger brother seems to be ok in her thoughts, but he doesn't really want to be involved with her because he can't deal with listening to all of it. We've talked to adult protective, law enoforcement etc., and no one seems to be able to force her to seek treatment. The only answer my sister has got recently was from a social worker that had permission to speak with her on a limited basis is that my mom is suffering from PTSD from her childhood years and early dementia. I am the oldest and I am the one she has turned on the most! In her eyes, I am plain evil. The funny thing is, I am the one that has done the most for my parents over the years. Any thoughts? It's such a heartbreaking thing for me.

[christina0001]

Sadly, it is not uncommon for people suffering with dementia to become suspicious of their caregivers. You might find comfort in contacting the Alzheimers Association. They have support groups, and you might feel better talking to people in your community who are experiencing, or have experienced, the same thing.
The Alzheimer's Association provides support regarding all types of dementia, not just Alzheimer's. There is a wealth of information at their website. They also have a 24/7 support hotline if you just need to talk to someone.
Support Groups

[tarragon]

Thanks Christina. I just wondered if PTSD would actually be the true culprit. She's so paranoid and she thinks people are out around her house at night. She actually put up a surveillance system all around her house, bought a german shepherd dog, has put padlocks on the "inside" of her doors. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 yrs ago (didn't have to have a masectomy), only went to a few of her radiation treatments. She refuses to take any kind of medication for fear of it being poison, sleeps with bags of groceries in her bed for fear of being poisoned. For the most part, I can accept she's changed, but there are moments, I remember her home baked breads, pies, her preserves...and chatting about gardening etc., these are times that are never going to happen again. I look around me and my friends parents seem to be aging fine only with aches and pains, but their minds are sharp.

[SouthernBelleInUtah]

She could also just be paranoid, npothing to do with PTSD, if it has been going on for a long time nothing to do with dementia either. As she aged, my mother always complained that we were moving things from their proper places b/c she couldn't find something (she had put it elsewhere). You really can't do anything but be supportive of whichever family member speaks to you.