Lynnfield, North Andover and Bedford

[Beantown_mama]

Originally Posted by ogre

Beantown_Mama, I got a little laugh out of the suggestion to drive somewhere for walkability. I know what you're saying, I think, meaning that you're talking about being able to walk around to a bunch of stores once you arrive in a commercial center, but it struck me as kind of humorous.

Syracusa, hope you'll update us on how things go as you settle in. Best of luck with the move. Take care.

You are right, that was kind of silly. But I was thinking she may live on the Wakefield side of Lynnfield which means that walkability may be nearby! But yes, to drive to walk doesn't make that much sense.

[gf2020]

Originally Posted by syracusa

Only to hear that in Lynnfield no children EVER play outside and nobody EVER talks.

I don't know what you are talking about.

I live in Lynnfield, on a side street near the center of town, and the kids in my neighborhood play outside in each others' yards all the time. My sons are older than yours but we have children from age 2 to 17 in our neighborhood.

However, I read thru (most) of this message thread and I'm not sure I understand what is bringing you to Northeastern MA?

There is no reason to rent in Lynnfield if your children are not old enough to take advantage of the public schools in Lynnfield. Why pay the high price?

There are 3 reasons why I live in Lynnfield:

• excellent public schools for my teenage boys
• my wife is a teacher in town
• it is close to my wife's family in Lynn

Once those 3 reasons are no longer valid, we will move to a less expensive location.

Based on your comments about budget, it seems like looking further out would give you some happier choices. Towns like Georgetown, Tewksbury or Chelmsford might be better for you.

[ogre]

GF2020, Syracusa has had a number of threads on here about her situation. Her husband was laid off from his job in Atlanta, and found a new job in Reading, MA. Sounds as if they're doing the best they can to find a place within their budget that will be a good place to live for now, offer good schools for their kids, etc., on short notice while having to do their house-hunting mostly from a distance.

It looks as if the place in Lynnfield is the one they've settled on for now. Since they're renting, they'll have the option of looking for another place once they've moved to this area, if they feel the need. Sounds as if they're pretty well settled on where they're going to be for now at least. They seem to have done well in finding a workable situation during trying circumstances. Best wishes to them.

[Niandra]

Funny, the house the OP was describing in Lynnfield sounded not unlike my late grandmother's residence in Kings Grant. I wouldn't recommend buying in that area -- expensive, outdated houses with mold problems. I grew up here and will be moving far away after graduating college in a few months. I liked the middle school quite a bit but as far as the high school, save a few teachers (all of whom have retired except one I believe), it was terrible. That's a long way off for the OP's children though and it might change by then. I think the town is a bit better for small children but for teenagers there's not much to do except woods parties, drugs and cruising the town drunk driving. That seems to be the norm for small town America though, unfortunately. My friends and I went into Boston as much as possible.

Unfortunately there's no MBTA access within walking distance from where we lived (south Lynnfield). It might be more reasonable towards the "center" of town (Middle School area). The lake in Wakefield is nice to walk around, but again, you're probably better off driving there. In South Lynnfield, there's Lynn Woods. Wouldn't go in there by myself, but it was fine with friends. The Huckleberry Hill area is fine to walk my dogs around but boring. It's basically a bedroom community.

It's sad that kids don't play outside much anymore. My younger brothers do sometimes, but unfortunately most of their free times goes towards video games. Unstructured play time is so important for development. I was able to walk around by myself or with friends and play outside just fine in Weymouth (on the south shore), but that was the early 90s. I'm not sure quite what happened in the past 15 years or so. Major culture shift, I guess, like the OP described. Parents are far too overprotective these days.

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by Niandra

I think the town is a bit better for small children but for teenagers there's not much to do except woods parties, drugs and cruising the town drunk driving. That seems to be the norm for small town America though, unfortunately.

Hello Niandra and Hello again everyone else,

Thank you again for all the tips you gave us during that stressful relocation process. Yes, we ended up in Lynnfield. Objectively speaking, it seems like a quiet, nice place.

Do I like it? I feel like I should have no opinion yet. Does it "feel" good yet? No, not yet. But then again, I have been told to be reasonable and not expect feeling right at home just one month after a pretty dramatic cross-country relocation. Fair enough.

Looked at from the road, Lynnfield definitely looks like one of those respectable American suburbs where parents go to work for higher-than-average wages and kids stay mainly indoors or in organized activities, preparing for a bright academic future. (hopefully not so bright that they get to see killing as a viable response to being denied academic tenure, but bright enough ).

It is very quiet outside. Neighbors seem very nice but relatively reserved (the ones who introduced themselves). You just don't see them outside their houses or cars much at all. then again, it's winter, right? But I have a feeling winter's not the only factor. When driving home, I can always see our next door neighbor in her den with very large-windows. She's always watching TV or she's on the Internet. So am I. On the Internet. (Working on taking breaks). Where else would I be?

Yet, in the large scheme of things, I know the trouble is not Lynnfield per se. In an amazingly short amount of time I got used to the much "lesser" house compared to what we had in Atlanta; to the infinitely less convenient location compared to what we had in Atlanta; even to the smaller amount of money going into savings each month.

What I cannot get used to is the "void". The severing of family/community ties that was replaced with...pretty much nothing. Somehow, I know that if we had family around (I would pay big bucks to have my sister here) and the few good friends we had managed to make in Atlanta, I could not care less whether Lynnfield is hot or cold, whether it's sunny or cloudy, whether it rains, snows, or it pours down Ooobleck. I would STILL bemoan the fact that kids are definitely NOT outside in the neighbrohood playing, but then again, I was busy doing that in Atlanta too. There is a family with 2 small children and a slightly older boy one house up, but they are never outside. They seem to accompany mom to shopping and to the gym a lot.

We did go out there to meet some people in the community (mainly neighbors, who came to us, and teachers at son's preschool). We also sent a "Hello" e-mail to introduce ourselves to some parents who have kids in the same class as our son. Some were very nice and sent back a friendly e-mail and a "looking forward to meeting you sometime".

One evening we went to a PTO organized event at preschool where WE THOUGHT kids were going to watch a movie while parents will get a chance to interact, chat, connect, waht have you.
It was more like EVERYONE plugged in, watched the movie in the dark, every parent with their kid, and then went home.
I was left...not excited. Quite disconnected, in fact.
Movie watching could have easily been done at home, from the comfort of everyone's couch, each in their own world. Not at preschool.

The state is clearly an expensive state. One that we might not be able to "marry" in the long run. Lately we have been experiencing crazy (hopefully not completely dellusional) thoughts about a relocation to my home country (much lower COL, family in place) with online jobs.

I am not sure whether there are even people in this country who have been able to pull off something like this - but we are determined to find out more about this option in the future.

We are not that young, do not make friends easily (at least not what we understand by "friends") and have few hopes that we will be able to build the ties of our life here, when all people we care a lot about are so far away.

In the meantime, any other tips about Lynnfield would be appreciated.

[sue629]

Hello and welcome to Ma.
You asked about tips about Lynnfield. With Lynnfield I think what you see is what you get, nice, pretty community but definately a bedroom style community. This is not a knock in any way but what I see in Lynnfield is there is not much there besides some nice neighborhoods and some beautiful homes. You can find some things there to do, maybe even free, but mostly you will need to leave to find entertainment and mostly things to do costs $. I don't live there, though looked there awhile back for a house to buy and decided against it. So this is not exactly a Lynnfield viewpoint and those living there may pipe in and give you a better synopsis of the area. I do live close though and have been through it many times.
I do believe you will make your own connections there but it will take time. Winter is not the best of times to relocate. People just don't hang out much outside so the chance to meet and greet others is limited. Sledding though seems to bring people out with their kids. Check out the local sledding areas.
Not sure what your interests are but some suggestions - Book clubs are big around here. The library sometimes sponsors them but there are a lot of private ones also. If you like reading, put a post up at the library or a book store asking if there is a club around. Good way to meet people. Also some libraries do a children story hour, the town I live in does. Check it out for your kids.
Haven't done this for awhile, but Mommy and Me groups also used to be big. Put out a feeler if there are any in Lynnfield. Your kids get built in playmates and you get to meet other moms. Some people develop some good friends this way. It may not be your "thing" but it could help in making some connections, a feel of belonging to something, which by your posts appears to be what you are missing, given that you have no relations around this area.
If you like working out or playing tennis, the Boston Sports Club is right there on the grounds of the Sheraton Colonial. Nice club and active. There may be something for your kids there. Definately plenty for adults. Check it out. They will give you a tour of the facility.
Golf, I believe, is big in that area, Sheraton Colonial has a nice golf course, Sagamore(?), right on Main Street is another. Need to wait for warm weather but if you want to learn to play there are opportunities there to do so. On Rt 114 in Middleton they do cheap Sat morning golf clinics, also need to wait for the warm weather. On 114 also there is a great ice cream stand, mini golf, driving range and very crowded in the summer.
If you play tennis, there is plenty of opportunity in the area for indoor lessons, clinics, teams etc. I can provide more info if you need.
Park and Rec may have some things going on for your older child. Not sure about Lynnfield but in my town, fairly close, they do school break activities as well as summer programs.
Shopping- you are right between 2 shopping districts- Burlington Mall is a good one and about 15 minutes from Lynnfield. Northshore mall, Peabody, is the other way heading North about 10 minutes from Lynnfield. There is no shopping in Lynnfield that I know of.
In nice weather go explore towns like Marblehead, Newburyport, Salem, interesting seaside towns, nice walking areas, historical, with non mall shopping, lots of restaurants. There are a lot of outdoor festivals, arts and crafts markets, farmer markets in these areas, again in nicer weather. These are usually posted on the town's website.
Skating rink in Peabody, close to Lynnfield. Maybe skating in Wakefield on the Pond? Not sure if they allow it.
Boston is a great place to spend time- Children's Museum, Aquarium, and Museum of Science offers some nice Sunday afternoon activities. Boston great in the summer and fall, plenty of outdoor activities, Fanuiel Hall area, with outdoor entertainment, jugglers, magic shows etc. Festivals in the North End for a slice of European feel., There is plenty to do in nice weather. Unfortunately you need to get past the winter to experience the best that Boston area has to offer.
To meet your neighbors, do a meet and greet invite to your home, wine and cheese, coffee, pastry are sufficient. People here tend to be reserved, keep to themselves, not all, but it is a tendency. You may need to go out of your comfort zone and make the first move.
If you have a religious affiliation, it can offer some social aspects also.
You are not that far off in saying that people are indoors and not just for the winter,
You will see more people outside in the warmer weather, cleaning up around the outside of their homes, gardening,(local gardening club?) but mainly the kids are scheduled even in the summers- camp, summer country clubs etc. Hope this helps

[syracusa]

Thank you, sue. These are definitely nice tips for things to do and we ARE looking forward to spring/summer to check out all Boston area has to offer. I continue to believe it is one of the nicest cities in the US, with lots of character and charm.

In fact, we've already been to Salem this week-end. We walked around a bit, there were not that many people but some of the few we saw were wearing flip-flops on barefoot, in under freezing temperature.
I can see how that place can get very cute and lively in the summer. Definitely much more of a lively feel than any place we could have gone to in Georgia.

My problem is not "things to do". It's more like what I said: establishing closer ties. In my experience, making friends via organized activities has not necessarily been a successful entreprise for us. It took us many years to make some close friends in Atlanta - and when we did, they were originally from the region of the world I am from and we met them through very personal, unique circumstances. We also had some built-in ties there - my husband's family.

It has been my experience that making friends is not an easy thing to do in this country, in general - let alone in MA where people are indeed on the reserved side. I remember reading on a site about American values, written for international students (by American officials). They were warned NOT to expect to make friends easily as American culture is founded on individualism, pursuit of personal goals, etc. I find this to be true not just on paper, but also in my personal experience.

Of course, I can't compare this situation to Europe because until recently, Europeans were rarely in a position to actively get out there and "make any new friends". They were more like "born into friends" or structurally placed in situations where friendships would eventually form, without much trying. Usually, they would grow up in the same area, or make friends when they would start their first job - and since the job was there for life, the co-workers/friends would age together. Let alone the slew of extended family in close proximity. This was the case of my parents who have had the same tightly knit circle of friends for almost 40 years now.
(No "newcomer" has gotten in during these 40 years, so yes, extremely cliquish).

I do like reading a lot, I have never been in a book club but hey, looks like I am gonna be in one. I checked the local public library and they do have one but the books they pick for reading hardly seem up my alley. I read mainly nonfiction - but you gave me a good idea about checking some private ones too. Not sure exactly how to identify them but will look into it.

Thank you also for the "meet and greet" tip. I feel more comfortable doing that if recommended by an American, even better someone in the area. Even if it had crossed my mind to do this, I would have been afraid it is "weird", "too much", "desperate", "forcing ourselves into"...I don't know.

It is hard to make the first step with fanfare and cherries on top when, on the other end, people give subtle signals that they think you're nice but they're busy with their own lives. By no means do I think this is just a New England issue. America in general is set up this way. There is a lot of emphasis on privacy and you always feel like you're intruding if you give signals that you're interested in going past the "acquaintance" level.

Funnily enough, given I am the foreigner, you would think at least my husband would exhibit more acumen in "getting it going" with his fellow American - as he is supposed to know "the rules of engagement" better than I do.
Not so. In the South he had a couple of comfortable childhood friends living Atlanta and together they worshiped their beloved religion: college football. Not good - I decided soon enough. For more normal interaction, conversation, celebrations etc - he would still end up with MY friends, from my "ethnic" community (Lord, I loathe this word).

Either way, I know for sure he would not have come up with the "meet and greet" tip either. So thanks. Will do. :-)

[zrek321]

(3/15/10): I am vacationing in Bedford (MA) in mid-April 2010. Today, on the radio, I heard that "The Guardian Angels" will have presence in this town. Should we be fearful? Should we drive to Boston ourselves, or take the hotel transportation? We live in N.Y.C.; we are mindful, surrounding-wise. PLEASE POST YOUR COMMENTS!

[CaseyB]

Are you sure it wasn't NEW Bedford (the city)?