Deep Thoughts (credit, law, rating)

[Maineah]

The Universe is electric.

[Submariner]

Cats are smarter than dogs. They won't pull sleds

Cats teach that not everything in nature has a function

Cats, proof that eating and sleeping isn't all bad

[Maineah]

'You never own a cat they just bunk with you.' (from the movie "True Grit")

[Submariner]

Cease firing, but if any enemy planes appear, shoot them down in a friendly fashion- Halsey, 1945

[Maineah]

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other son of a ***** die for his...George Patten

[Submariner]

Children have more need of models than of critics

Children: the most common sexually transmitted disease

Claiming mental bankruptcy is always an easy option

[flycessna]

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.


Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.

'Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress. *

Vote carefully this year

[Submariner]

Clean your screen, I can't see out!

Climbing my family tree was fun, until the nuts appeared

Clinton Medical Dictionary: CAUTERIZE: MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HER

[Bewitched]

A true friend is never farther away than needing them can reach.

[Submariner]

COFFEE.COM not found: A)dd more, R)eheat F)reak out

Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours

Communists do it without class