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WHOA, your husband makes $56K and you can't make ends meet?
Let me guess, two [newer] cars, most likely 4 cell phones, mega *cool* electronics all over the house, heat up to 75* so you don't have to get dressed, eating out most of the time, new toys for the kids regularly...
I know a couple who "just can't seem to make it" on $80,000 a year because they both **** money away!
When my wife & I decided to kill all of our debt, we 'survived' quite well on less than $15,000 per year for several years while raising our two kids. Most of our 'income' went to pay off personal as well as business debt. We worked our butts off fixing up an OLD mobile home on a one acre lot, heated with wood we cut ourselves, canned everything from a small garden, hunted most of our meat, and learned to live closer to the land. TV consisted of two and a half channels, our kids read books for entertainment, and everyone worked at prepping for whatever season came next.
Your issue is not WHERE you live but HOW you spend your income. Fix that first and you can answer all of your questions.
I'm sure this sounds rude but that is not the intent. Handing someone flowers when they're drowning will not save them!
Today, too many people live well above their income. I know... I was there once.
Nope, that couldn't be father from the truth. You did describe about half the people I know though. We don't have cable, haven't gone out to eat in over a year in a half, make all of our food, havent had a haircut in over a year, dont buy new clothes, have older cars. I do have a lot of medical bills and like I stated before- majority of our income goes to rent. The only way we are living above our means is by living in a state/region where it costs 10x more to rent/own than it does down south (okay i may be exagerating but you get what I am saying)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MadJack
WHOA, your husband makes $56K and you can't make ends meet?
Let me guess, two [newer] cars, most likely 4 cell phones, mega *cool* electronics all over the house, heat up to 75* so you don't have to get dressed, eating out most of the time, new toys for the kids regularly...
I know a couple who "just can't seem to make it" on $80,000 a year because they both **** money away!
When my wife & I decided to kill all of our debt, we 'survived' quite well on less than $15,000 per year for several years while raising our two kids. Most of our 'income' went to pay off personal as well as business debt. We worked our butts off fixing up an OLD mobile home on a one acre lot, heated with wood we cut ourselves, canned everything from a small garden, hunted most of our meat, and learned to live closer to the land. TV consisted of two and a half channels, our kids read books for entertainment, and everyone worked at prepping for whatever season came next.
Your issue is not WHERE you live but HOW you spend your income. Fix that first and you can answer all of your questions.
I'm sure this sounds rude but that is not the intent. Handing someone flowers when they're drowning will not save them!
Today, too many people live well above their income. I know... I was there once.
Long posts like this can be sort of irritating, speaking for myself only, and I must confess I didn't read it all. But here's a clip --
"So here is my situation. My husband and I live in NH with our daughter and another baby on the way. The cost of living in New England is just atrocious. I seriously don't know how anyone can afford to live comfortably AND buy a house that isn't a complete fixer-upper without assistance from family for a down payment or something! Anyways, a couple years ago before I had my daughter I got laid off and since have not been able to find work. When she was born we lived in MA and daycare costs were insane. If I was able to find a job the daycare we liked was going to charge $1700/month! So, my husband and I agreed that it was just best for us financially for him to work and me to stay home. He is a police officer at a college campus in Boston, and we are so blessed that he has excellent benefits and good pay for his position. "
The thing I bolded -- well if daycare people make that kind of money, why don't you do daycare in your home? Take in a couple of kids, and it starts to look like real money, right?
That said, you are going about this backwards -- you should research towns where your husband can find a law enforcement job that will net an equal salary to what he is making now, before you start throwing names of towns out there. I will tell you, Biddeford is depressed, and I would be surprised if he could get a law enforcement job there right now. There are lots of struggling, unemployed people in Biddeford ever since the mill closed. You should only move to Biddeford (or anywhere else) if you have a job or a job plan in place. I don't know why people do it any other way, you could be setting your young family up for extreme hardship.
Poverty (and I would not call a 56k salary 'poverty' it sounds right middle class to me) with young children, when one parent must provide the care, is just a sacrifice you make.
Perhaps, but NC has stinking hot humidity in the summer. My two brothers live in Greensboro and Winston Salem and I wouldn't trade coastal Maine for the stinking hot heat of NC any day. And if you have a reasonably insulated house in ME, and heat with wood the cost is pretty cheap(I generally do it for about $1000 a year).
I can't compare the rest to NC since I've only been a tourist there(my parent used to own a place on the beach in North Topsail before the ocean reclaimed it). But compared to North of Balitmore MD, the food prices are significantly cheaper in Downeast Maine, the care insurance is substantially cheaper, the house insurance is cheaper, the trash pick up is 1/4 of where I was. Everything is cheaper. And to top it off, local taxes are a full amount credit on my state taxes rather than a miniscule $100 deduction.
And, I have to say that the people in Maine are much more friendly than the people in NC, either central or coastal, and there is far far less racial prejudice or class prejudice here.
But I live Downeast on MDI. Other places in Maine may or may not be the Camelot I have found.
Sweetmama, I understand what you are saying about cost of living. Some people who have never lived in other areas but the one they are currently living in have a hard time understanding that life is not the same in all areas of America. We are also considering moving to Maine for different reasons but I too worry about the change in the cost of living.
My husband I have struggled many years when our kids were preschool age. Only recently have we felt like we haven't had to live paycheck to paycheck. One thing we have observed in the various location we have lived especially here (TN), is that people are unwilling to move to have a better life. The truth is that sometimes you have to leave the area you are accustomed to, leave your extended families and friends to have the life you want, or need. The college benefits sound amazing and it would be tempting to stay and buckle down in order for your kids to receive them, but you have listed all the reasons why it is not worth waiting it out.
Your husband is a police officer and it shouldn't be too hard for him to find work. I'd suggest looking at a few different towns/cities and states for employment opportunities and then go from there when you have a job offer.
I don't know if Maine is the place for you, but it sounds like you do need to move in order to find happiness for you and your family. It's true you don't need a lot to be happy, but when you are always stressed, and worried about every penny all the time for 18 years straight it will have a negative effect on you and your family life.
Sweetmama, I understand what you are saying about cost of living. Some people who have never lived in other areas but the one they are currently living in have a hard time understanding that life is not the same in all areas of America. We are also considering moving to Maine for different reasons but I too worry about the change in the cost of living.
I see this routinely, and on different forums. People who have grown-up in an area, and have spent their entire lives in the same area; tend to assume that where they live in the best place to live.
On the other hand, when we moved to Maine, we noticed that unique to Maine is a regional tribal knowledge that says Maine has the highest taxes and the highest cost-of-living, as compared to all other states.
Locals know this as sure as they know the sun rises in the morning. It appears that for many years, it has been repeated as a common them by politicians and businessmen. Locals hear it so often, and for so many years that it has became a common theme. IRL; you may find the actual situation here to be different.
We moved to Maine from 'away', we have found the COL / taxes to be very competitive.
Quote:
... The truth is that sometimes you have to leave the area you are accustomed to, leave your extended families and friends to have the life you want, or need.
... I don't know if Maine is the place for you, but it sounds like you do need to move in order to find happiness for you and your family. It's true you don't need a lot to be happy, but when you are always stressed, and worried about every penny all the time for 18 years straight it will have a negative effect on you and your family life.
I live in Auburn right now with my fiancee and a roommate. Its a two bedroom with a full kitchen, full bath, with a large dining room and large living room. Rent is 650, about 725 with utilities. I know nothing about the state of buying a house here, but 2-3 bedroom apartments are possible for 900 and under, as long as you aren't looking for ritzy living. I regularly walk the streets of Auburn/Lewiston as a five foot one female in my twenties and have very felt threatened in the area, but property crime can be an issue if you don't take the proper precautions-locking your doors and windows, etc.
I live in Auburn right now with my fiancee and a roommate. Its a two bedroom with a full kitchen, full bath, with a large dining room and large living room. Rent is 650, about 725 with utilities. I know nothing about the state of buying a house here, but 2-3 bedroom apartments are possible for 900 and under, as long as you aren't looking for ritzy living. I regularly walk the streets of Auburn/Lewiston as a five foot one female in my twenties and have very felt threatened in the area, but property crime can be an issue if you don't take the proper precautions-locking your doors and windows, etc.
lower lisbon street use to be an active place for female walkers
Let me correct myself, I regularly find myself walking into Lewiston and back in late hours because I babysit my niece, but I have *never felt threatened, not very. The cops are abundant; I'm harassed by cops stopping me to see if they can catch a teenager out after curfew more than by wander criminals.
Lower Lisbon St. between Main ans Pine is one of the more vibrant streets in the state now, dotted with quality shops, restaurants, and posh apartments. The bad parts of Lewiston are the streets near the arena: Bartlett, Birch, Walnut, Horton, Pierce, etc. By bad though, it's really just high density poverty.
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