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Mark S - Please be kind enough if you would to read our very first post regarding this subject. We did not mention anything about our immense wealth or that of our friends.
No. Your first post was to offer statistics to show how poor, old, and under-educated the people of northern Maine are. The first information about yourself was how wealthy you are. I don't think you meant to be offensive. But surely you can see how that might come across, yes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by alloverthenet
Most people who speak about either themselves or their lives tell it like it is.
No. Most people do not introduce themselves by first stating how rich they are. At least not most people I know.
Listen. You've obviously been offended by my advice. That was not my intent, and I apologize if I have hurt your feelings in any way.
I have no reason to doubt the veracity of your friends' account. I have no reason to doubt how they said they were treated. My point was that there are two sides to every story. Sometimes more. Your friends did not deserve to be treated the way they were treated at all, and they have my utmost sympathy. Furthermore, I hope the miscreants who did it are punished to the fullest extent of the law. But if the way you have presented yourself on these boards is indicative of the way you presented yourselves to the locals, I can kind of see why there might have been some resentment and animosity built up. Again, I stress that just because these people were offended or felt demeaned does in no way justify their behavior. I agree with you 100% on that. But if you want to be accepted or even liked by people outside your social class, you might take a second look at how you present yourself. When you meet new people, the first words to pass your lips or your fingertips probably shouldn't be how wealthy you are or how many multi-million dollar homes you own across the country.
Thank you Mark S! No, we did not mean this to come across in an offensive way and you have not offended us. My husband reviewed all of what I had written and could see how what I had to say might be taken in a pretentious manner since the reference to Maine and it's poor people was actually part of the article (as noted in the second posting with the line drawn across the page between what we/I said and the article itself).
But I would still stress the distinction of what our initial response was to "Minnesotagirl's" comment. I did mention in our "first posting" that our friends have several homes but a lot of people have more than one home, which doesn't necessarily make them wealthy. But in this particular situation with these freinds of ours, they are and even far more wealthier than we are, which "I only mention to bring light upon the difference or indifferences of people in this world." Social stigmas follow the same lines as Racism with one being no better than the other. But my overall point was just because "someone has more or less than another, it still does not give them or anyone the right to do what they did to our friends or anyone including yourself."
We appreciate your apology but there's nothing to apologize for. We did mention your points were well taken and they have been along with being respected for what they were. But we still ask that you read these posts again because these are friends of ours did only one thing in this particular community - buy a home and begin major renovation on it. You also "seemed to skip over the parts we mentioned about how they generously donate to both the homeless, foodbanks and countless other entities wherever they have homes and even where they don't."
They did (not) interfere with their neighbours in any way. They did (not) do anything but have their home renovated and still are. Nor did they tell anyone of their wealth. They treated everyone with the utmost of respect and better than some we know. But you are 100 percent correct in how the correlation came across which we do apologize to everyone for because we did not intend it like Mark S kindly brought to our attention. Also, be sure to re-read Minnesotagirl's posting then our response. It clearly shows why we responded as we did and for anyone whether country or wealthy or whatever, treat another how you would like to be treated yourself or with common decent respect and humanely so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark S.
No. Your first post was to offer statistics to show how poor, old, and under-educated the people of northern Maine are. The first information about yourself was how wealthy you are. I don't think you meant to be offensive. But surely you can see how that might come across, yes?
No. Most people do not introduce themselves by first stating how rich they are. At least not most people I know.
Listen. You've obviously been offended by my advice. That was not my intent, and I apologize if I have hurt your feelings in any way.
I have no reason to doubt the veracity of your friends' account. I have no reason to doubt how they said they were treated. My point was that there are two sides to every story. Sometimes more. Your friends did not deserve to be treated the way they were treated at all, and they have my utmost sympathy. Furthermore, I hope the miscreants who did it are punished to the fullest extent of the law. But if the way you have presented yourself on these boards is indicative of the way you presented yourselves to the locals, I can kind of see why there might have been some resentment and animosity built up. Again, I stress that just because these people were offended or felt demeaned does in no way justify their behavior. I agree with you 100% on that. But if you want to be accepted or even liked by people outside your social class, you might take a second look at how you present yourself. When you meet new people, the first words to pass your lips or your fingertips probably shouldn't be how wealthy you are or how many multi-million dollar homes you own across the country.
I am curious about how your friends were treated. You mention that they were not treated fairly, but what exactly does that mean? The statistics in rural Minnesota would match some of the economic statistics in Aroostock county as I am sure many parts of rural America would be similar, and in my opinion/experience smaller rural towns are always skeptical of newcomers. For example, our North Shore has many multi-million dollar homes that are being built, but people who have lived, worked and been involved in the community for their entire lives can not afford those waterfront properties because of all of the multi-million dollar developments. So there is bitterness in newcomers. Those newcomers also feel that since they have money, (but little or no community ties), become involved in zoning projects and tell the surrounding communites how to goven, zone etc... and you can see how people do not appeciate new people into the communites and over time become skeptical of everyone.
In our social circles which you refer to as having "immense wealth and however many homes we have or how we "assumingly introduce ourselves to others," let's first examine something known as reverse crticism and reverse social stigmatism or "practice what you preach." Mark S has stated he "grew up in the country." We grew up in an affluent family and evironment, whereas our friends (his wife was raised in an affluent family and evironment, her husband was raised in a royal affluent family and enviroment and their six year old is being raised in a combination of both). Maybe those from the country do not introduce themselves like you've mentioned, but in other social circles, life on an everyday basis is something much different than most experience in this world and discussions of wealth or what another owns is as common day as going to the grocery store. Yet, you are going to address only one side of a four sided house and leave out the doors and the windows?
So how is one different than the other? You are trying to point out how pretentious we are, but your commentary is the ideal of what reverse criticism is. All the posts are like chapters in a book. If you read one chapter here, then another or pull one chapter out of the book and say this is what this is all about, then you need to read the posts thoroughly and understand "what is being said" so the entirety of the book is understood. Again, we do not take any offense to what you have said but by reading and understanding what has been expressed from all angles rather than only "one or a countryman's view only" then social stigmas wouldn't be present in this world today (noting I have admitted to my errors or wrongs and in all due respect to you Mark S). Remember, we are standing in defense of our friends like you would for yours. And these freinds of ours are like anyone else when it comes to their family and protecting their family from these thugs in Maine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by alloverthenet
Thank you Mark S! No, we did not mean this to come across in an offensive way and you have not offended us. My husband reviewed all of what I had written and could see how what I had to say might be taken in a pretentious manner since the reference to Maine and it's poor people was actually part of the article (as noted in the second posting with the line drawn across the page between what we/I said and the article itself).
But I would still stress the distinction of what our initial response was to "Minnesotagirl's" comment. I did mention in our "first posting" that our friends have several homes but a lot of people have more than one home, which doesn't necessarily make them wealthy. But in this particular situation with these freinds of ours, they are and even far more wealthier than we are, which "I only mention to bring light upon the difference or indifferences of people in this world." Social stigmas follow the same lines as Racism with one being no better than the other. But my overall point was just because "someone has more or less than another, it still does not give them or anyone the right to do what they did to our friends or anyone including yourself."
We appreciate your apology but there's nothing to apologize for. We did mention your points were well taken and they have been along with being respected for what they were. But we still ask that you read these posts again because these are friends of ours did only one thing in this particular community - buy a home and begin major renovation on it. You also "seemed to skip over the parts we mentioned about how they generously donate to both the homeless, foodbanks and countless other entities wherever they have homes and even where they don't."
They did (not) interfere with their neighbours in any way. They did (not) do anything but have their home renovated and still are. Nor did they tell anyone of their wealth. They treated everyone with the utmost of respect and better than some we know. But you are 100 percent correct in how the correlation came across which we do apologize to everyone for because we did not intend it like Mark S kindly brought to our attention. Also, be sure to re-read Minnesotagirl's posting then our response. It clearly shows why we responded as we did and for anyone whether country or wealthy or whatever, treat another how you would like to be treated yourself or with common decent respect and humanely so.
Last edited by alloverthenet; 08-08-2006 at 01:22 PM..
But my overall point was just because "someone has more or less than another, it still does not give them or anyone the right to do what they did to our friends or anyone including yourself."
With that, I agree 100%.
I'm not going to get drawn into a discussion on class differences and social struggle. This is not the place. You misunderstood my point, and I don't want to spark any hard feelings by continuing to belabor it.
My best wishes for you and your friends.
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