Is LA good for single women in early 30s or Houston? (Los Angeles: transplants, houses)

[TxLA101]

Hello All!
I have been looking at these forums from afar for a while. A little about myself, I am a professional and have contemplating where to live and be settled for over two years now. I have lived in transient mode in Houston and have been in LA for a little while now. Everyone I meet in LA tells me to go back to Houston due to jobs, cost of living, people. Friends here tell me that no one settles down in LA. I have been here for a little while and although I love the weather and outdoorsy stuff, I get worried about my social life since I am 31 now and single on top of that. I thought houston .... all my friends were married having babies etc and I wanted to get out of there. I thought LA people settle down later in life but people I meet say no one settles down. My question is am I making a poor decision of living in LA at my age and trying to meet men? Thanks!

[West of Encino]

They are right. The dating scene in LA is quite toxic and the local men are very understandably skeptical of companionship and the other side. Half the men in LA prefer to be single.

[GypsyLady13]

Originally Posted by West of Encino

They are right. The dating scene in LA is quite toxic and the local men are very understandably skeptical of companionship and the other side. Half the men in LA prefer to be single.

i will be moving to la in 5 months and a lot of the forums i have read that are from men they do state that they will always be single. but that is not stopping me from moving. i am single too and i am moving to la because that is where i want to live. i have never lived in any city by judging how popular i will be on the dating/marrying scene. move to la, work your job and go out with friends. if by chance you meet somebody and fall in love, then great. but you should not pick a city/state depending on whether or not you will be getting proposals from men in that city.
good luck.

[SharePBear]

I'm not single but moved out here from Houston. I don't have a much of a women's perspective but my sister-in-law is in a similar situation a 30 year old professional working in LA and living in Santa Monica. From conversations with her the dating scene leaves much to be desired for a TX girl, there is a much higher level of narcissism and overall selfishness. There are good people everywhere the problem is shifting through the others.

[BarcelonaFan]

Girl, I just moved to LA from Houston and I have found the dating scene to be out of this world bad. If you're looking to settle down you came to the wrong city. You're best bet is to go to church.

I love LA and don't want to go back to Houston right now but I do plan on going back to TX when I'm ready to settle down. Houston is on a major upswing but the cost of living is rising fast, more young professionals are moving there, and the scene is fresh. Everything is brand spanking new. Why put up with a toxic dating scene in a city that looks like it hasn't been updated since the 80s?

[Charles]

Originally Posted by TxLA101

Hello All!
I have been looking at these forums from afar for a while. A little about myself, I am a professional and have contemplating where to live and be settled for over two years now. I have lived in transient mode in Houston and have been in LA for a little while now. Everyone I meet in LA tells me to go back to Houston due to jobs, cost of living, people. Friends here tell me that no one settles down in LA. I have been here for a little while and although I love the weather and outdoorsy stuff, I get worried about my social life since I am 31 now and single on top of that. I thought houston .... all my friends were married having babies etc and I wanted to get out of there. I thought LA people settle down later in life but people I meet say no one settles down. My question is am I making a poor decision of living in LA at my age and trying to meet men? Thanks!

What's better for your career? Where is your family? What makes better financial sense?

Those questions above are more important. A city's social life attribute is in the noise compared to the answers to the questions above. You can meet people in any city. Also, it's not the city, it's the neighborhood in the city. CIty vs City is too broad. It's more like neighborhood vs. neighborhood. Activities vs. activities.

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by BarcelonaFan

Girl, I just moved to LA from Houston and I have found the dating scene to be out of this world bad. If you're looking to settle down you came to the wrong city. You're best bet is to go to church.

I love LA and don't want to go back to Houston right now but I do plan on going back to TX when I'm ready to settle down. Houston is on a major upswing but the cost of living is rising fast, more young professionals are moving there, and the scene is fresh. Everything is brand spanking new. Why put up with a toxic dating scene in a city that looks like it hasn't been updated since the 80s?

Wow, you sure are a little bipolar when it comes to LA and Houston. Lol! You used to talk about how women in Texas, even in Houston, are looking for the GenX/GenY version of George Straight.

Funny thing, you mention going to church. One of the things I love about this city, is that the California progressive/liberal culture has spread to institutions normally more conservative, like churches. I am an active/practicing Catholic, I do like being involved, and I do think its a good place to meet people. However I am socially liberal in many ways, and live in the 21st century, and LA, maybe because they have to compete with all the other distractions, I don't know, but church life in LA, can be out of this world with the times.

I know LA can be bad, but for me I find LA can be great in many ways socially for me personally too.

[Tex?Il?]

Frankly, I am taking a little more of the opposite stance.

If nothing else you need a fresh perspective. LA is a city where people tend to focus on the negatives a lot more.

Truth is, it can really mess with your head, being around people who are all settling down and raising a family when you aren't. You can become very self-conscious. When you are putting yourself out there, you can really sabotage yourself, thinking that the "pickins" are slim, and I "want to be normal and mature" like everyone else, so you can get clingy to soon, scare guys off, etc.

People who haven't been in the situation where you are around people, who at your age are all getting married, settling down, buying houses really don't understand how it can make you feel self-conscious and ultimately sabotage your chances of meeting people, because you are focusing on your biological clock ticking.

I'm a guy, and I realize its a lot different for women. Here's the thing though, you mentioned you like the area for all the outdoor things to do. I guarantee those activities will be places you will meet quality people. Or museums, classes, etc. I know I've met a lot of awesome people doing the outdoor things.

Heres another thing, if you are just into living the city life. Living in the central core areas, and doing the typical city things like going to bars, lounges after work or whatever, Houston and Chicago for example might be better for meeting quality people, because they don't have the Hollywood scene, that bring in higher levels of douchebaggery. Many of the transplants to the young professional neighborhoods are more often college graduates from small towns, even the ones that go to the bars and clubs, so they bring some of the country manners and courtesy to the city. But these cities are NOT cities to meet people who do outdoor things on the weekends in places that surround/just beyond the city. Basically because the weather is usually too unpleasant to do things outdoors, and the land is flat, mostly private farms, etc. So, theres nothing to explore. So, those outdoor activities aren't as available.

It all depends on what one wants. But you should listen to that little inner voice.

[BarcelonaFan]

Originally Posted by Tex?Il?

Wow, you sure are a little bipolar when it comes to LA and Houston. Lol! You used to talk about how women in Texas, even in Houston, are looking for the GenX/GenY version of George Straight.

Funny thing, you mention going to church. One of the things I love about this city, is that the California progressive/liberal culture has spread to institutions normally more conservative, like churches. I am an active/practicing Catholic, I do like being involved, and I do think its a good place to meet people. However I am socially liberal in many ways, and live in the 21st century, and LA, maybe because they have to compete with all the other distractions, I don't know, but church life in LA, can be out of this world with the times.

I know LA can be bad, but for me I find LA can be great in many ways socially for me personally too.

Bipolar? That's harsh. I tend to look at cities at grey and not black/white. They have pros and cons. Not every Texan girl is looking for George Straight, that's just mostly the country/suburban white girls and some Hispanic ones too. The rest of Houston, the women are up for anything and they tend to be much more approachable. As far as the dating scene goes in Houston, it's better if you're not looking for the "good ol' girl". The "good ol' girl" is the equivalent of the gold digging stereotypical pop blonde princess or Persian princess you see in Beverly Hills. The difference is that the former is looking for a guy that reminds her of her dad; a tall, moderately attractive Alpha male, with a nice enough paying job (usually oil/gas) to keep her in the upper middle class to live that keepin' up with the Jones life.
I mean there are a lot of them in Texas, but dealing with these women can be easier than some of the women in LA.

I also prefer Church in Los Angeles.

[Tex?Il?]

Originally Posted by BarcelonaFan

Bipolar? That's harsh. I tend to look at cities at grey and not black/white. They have pros and cons. Not every Texan girl is looking for George Straight, that's just mostly the country/suburban white girls and some Hispanic ones too. The rest of Houston, the women are up for anything and they tend to be much more approachable. As far as the dating scene goes in Houston, it's better if you're not looking for the "good ol' girl". The "good ol' girl" is the equivalent of the gold digging stereotypical pop blonde princess or Persian princess you see in Beverly Hills. The difference is that the former is looking for a guy that reminds her of her dad; a tall, moderately attractive Alpha male, with a nice enough paying job (usually oil/gas) to keep her in the upper middle class to live that keepin' up with the Jones life.
I mean there are a lot of them in Texas, but dealing with these women can be easier than some of the women in LA.

I also prefer Church in Los Angeles.

Oh OK. I'm sorry if I was generalizing about your views on the two cities. I like how keen your analysis is. At least we can say you're not a one sided homer about anywhere, and that you are detailed on the pros and cons.