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Seems like there's a lot of things you hate, Joe. I'd hate to be you.
There is such an abundance of things to hate in NY. I'd hate to be you, because you still live there. I'm in control of my own environment, and don't have to live jammed-together with a bunch of inconsiderate strangers, so I have very little to hate now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LI7788
Just as a side note Joe, speaking of sound systems, I'm a firm believer that any kind of surround sound shouldn't be allowed in apartments. Should just be a rule like the others they have.
In an update, I still have not chose to ring that bell and have that talk, but it's coming, sooner than later.
I agree completely. It should be specified in every lease. It's a shame that our culture has devolved to that point, where people no longer have the sense nor consideration to just not do such things when living in such close proximity to others.
I spent a good part of my early years in apartments, and back then, you'd often here from parents and other adults "You just don't do that wehen you live in a apartment, because it would disturb others".
And now, with these surround sound systems, and home theaters and all, even in private houses, you often hear people's TVs so loud that the neighbors have to complain.
I feel; your pain. It would be especially frustrating for me, because i don't even watch TV!
Do something about it tomorrow! That noise will drive you crazy. You pay good money to live there, you shouldn't have to put up with it. Don't suffer in frustration- do something, until the problem is fixed- Talk to the lady; tell management; even call the fuzz when it's going late at night, if nothing else works. And if the trouble persists, be sure and keep detailed records of the times the noise is present, and what you tried to do about it; and get witnesses (anyone who visits your house) and you can even take the offending lady (and even the management, if they're not responsive) to Small Claims Court if you have to- but act, my friend- don't live like that- you shouldn't have to be treated like a 2nd-class citizen.
Had to comment on this. I have read some of your post on this forum and can agree with you on many things. However, it seems you have the massive chip on your shoulder when it comes to the NY area. It clouds your judgment and forces you to see things through crap-color glasses.
First off, most people are considerate. That's the case on Long Island, and that's the case everywhere else I have traveled.
We may have more annoying people here, but we also have more good people here... it's simply because we have more total people here. The ratio of good to bad isn't all that different.
I live in a typical Long Island neighborhood. I have one idiot neighbor who does stupid things with fireworks a few times during the year. There are others who I no desire to socialize with, but I never see them and they don't "bother" me in the least. That's one idiot in a development of 50+ homes.
I also spend quote a bit of time in the "country." I once had a neighbor drive the 1/2 mile to my place to "complain" about my target practice (30 minutes, twice a year). She was concerned because she lets her dogs run loose and has no control over them. I mentioned that her real worry should be my dogs, who can be territorial with other animals. That's one idiot in an area of about three homes.
Point is, there are idiots everywhere. By your own admission, you have to put up with "Harleys" in your utopian paradise.
That's the price of civilization... you have to coexist with other people.
I get the feeling that if you were the character in that Tom Hanks movie, you would have been annoyed by the volleyball.
Thank you, Joe. I will almost definitely be going the route of speaking to her directly. I just wish our first conversation didn't revolve around something so negative.
That is what some of us are trying to help you realize....it doesn't have to be negative. You can achieve your goal...much reduced TV noise by being neighborly and finessing your initial contact...while still getting your point across.
Re-read Joe's and my suggestions...and a few other's...and be kind and patient.
And, know that an elderly woman being confronted in today's world by a younger, angry/frustrated person might scare her.
Don't confront...introduce yourself, discuss. And, if you can't bring your GMa or Mom. This is your home...she is not going anywhere...make this as pleasant as possible it will be so worth it.
Just as a side note Joe, speaking of sound systems, I'm a firm believer that any kind of surround sound shouldn't be allowed in apartments. Should just be a rule like the others they have.
In an update, I still have not chose to ring that bell and have that talk, but it's coming, sooner than later.
Sooner rather than later is best because you are getting yourself worked into a tizzy about this, and that's not a good emotional perspective to have when you do ring that bell.
My ILs blast their t.v. like this. So does my dad. I have pretty sensitive hearing and can't stand a blasting t.v. It's certainly more annoying when you're in a separate apartment and having this problem. Just keep in mind, that to her, the t.v. sounds normal. You're saying "how can someone have their t.v. set at 30 for the volume and not realize how loud it is"?
She's thinking "boy, they don't make t.v.s like they used to - I have to turn this way up to hear it!"
Old people also keep odd hours, fall asleep in front of the t.v. (she's probably lonely) and, yes - some do feel "entitled" for lack of a better word.
Remember when you approach her that putting her on the defense is the worst thing you can do. Find someone or something to blame besides her. Your sensitive hearing, the thin walls - whatever. It doesn't have to be true. You simply want to make her comfortable and feel like "you're in this together".
Whoever said bring her flowers had the right idea.
The worst thing you can do is come at this from "I shouldn't have to...." or "I'm entitled to..." - those sentence starters may be true, but they don't solve your problem or keep it from escalating. Focus on solving the problem.
Little sad the young single person is complaining about noise from old person.
When I lived in my apt in my 20s and single I would be the one making the noise.
lol I'm 30, not 20 after all. . . . and you'd be shocked just how quiet I am. Aside from sometimes speaking on phone calls, the last apartment I was in the landlords said they never heard a peep. I use headphones for my music while surfing the web, keep my tv on a reasonable volume, and definitely don't stomp around at all. The first few weeks I've been nailing some photos to the wall and moving things around but that is what it is. If she or my above tenant said my tv was too loud and I heard it from their apartment myself, I'd even go and buy those Wifi headphones (at least for when I was watching without company).
I'm just trying to be a good neighbor here on Long Island, and it will be a polite conversation, don't you guys worry. I'm just worried she might be the elderly stubborn/entitled type.
lol I'm 30, not 20 after all. . . . and you'd be shocked just how quiet I am. Aside from sometimes speaking on phone calls, the last apartment I was in the landlords said they never heard a peep. I use headphones for my music while surfing the web, keep my tv on a reasonable volume, and definitely don't stomp around at all. The first few weeks I've been nailing some photos to the wall and moving things around but that is what it is. If she or my above tenant said my tv was too loud and I heard it from their apartment myself, I'd even go and buy those Wifi headphones (at least for when I was watching without company).
I'm just trying to be a good neighbor here on Long Island, and it will be a polite conversation, don't you guys worry. I'm just worried she might be the elderly stubborn/entitled type.
FYI. You may have the elderly spot on, but "entitled", I am not sure what that means. You really don't believe that if she is elderly she is "entitled" to have her TV on loud right?" I don't know the frame of reference for that word in this conversation, and rather feel the word "entitled" applies more to a younger generation, like yours than an older one. As others have stated, she may be hard of hearing and it has not been pointed out to her s of yet, it does come with age. But the suggestion of entitled is clearly wrong IMO.
The directly above statement is exactly why I suggested that you speak to the board, as a former board member myself albeit not on L.I. that is why they are there. You profess to be a quiet as a church mouse and you may well be and probably are. BUT, the attitude you harbor will certainly come across, you simply can't help yourself as these are your true feelings and as stated above you can't hide them.
Ok maybe entitled wasn't used properly. What I meant was that since she's elderly, she may feel she's "entitled" or has the right to have the tv loud/do what she wants. I don't know.
As far as the conversation goes I have already stated that I will not let any anger/frustration come across. Don't worry.
Ok maybe entitled wasn't used properly. What I meant was that since she's elderly, she may feel she's "entitled" or has the right to have the tv loud/do what she wants. I don't know.
As far as the conversation goes I have already stated that I will not let any anger/frustration come across. Don't worry.
You don't get it at all. As the aging process goes, one of the problems is hearing loss for a number of reasons. There is only necessity, not entitlement, to put the tv loud, because without it at that volume she can't hear what she is watching.
See the defination below
en·ti·tled
adjective
believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
"his pompous, entitled attitude"
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