Central Indiana Stay at Home Dads/Moms (Indianapolis: neighborhood, school)

[boilermaker26]

Hello All,

I am 31 year old, proud stay-at-home Dad near Indianapolis. I have a beatufiul wife, a wonderful 2 and a half year old, and anxiously awaiting a new baby due on Christmas Eve.

While I am incredibly happy with my family life and the few friends I have, I am a bit lonely otherwise. None of my friends are in the situation in which I am and my family has always been less than understanding of who I am. I am more than happy to stay at home and raise my children, but of course, there is a bit of a stigma to being a stay-at-home dad.

Is there anyone else around the area in a similar situation? I have always had a bit of social anxiety so it is a bit hard for me to make friends. I have many interests and am very open-minded, but am looking for good friends. Doesn't matter if you are male or female. I have so few places to look, but I thought thsi forum might be a good place to start.

[xcy999]

Stat-at-home daddy, same situation with you. Just go out side to playground and children's museum, and enjoy kids growing. Actually you will no time for social when you take 2 or 3 little kids, they always need you focus.

[boilermaker26]

Originally Posted by xcy999

Stat-at-home daddy, same situation with you. Just go out side to playground and children's museum, and enjoy kids growing. Actually you will no time for social when you take 2 or 3 little kids, they always need you focus.

I do go out to playgrounds and such, but have a bit of social anxiety, so it is tough for me to start up conversation with random parents. I am just looking for some friends in the same boat I am in.

[MortonR]

As a former stay at home Dad of two boys who are now 25 and 18, I can tell you that the best way to socialize is to find play groups or some other means of getting the kids out and interacting with others.

Granted, most of the adults you'll meet will be women, but this works to your advantage.

I don't say that in a leering way - I had lots of good times and made many friends over the years due to these sorts of interactions. It only gets better once the kids get into school, as that provides an even larger group of people to interact with, and opportunities to apply your abilities as an individual.

I'm talking PTA, volunteering in the classroom, etc.

I was known amongst my female friends as "My girlfriend Morton."

I always had a wonderful time, was never uncomfortable or distressed about being the only guy in the group, and found it to be a wonderful environment for both myself and my kids. This is a bit of a leap for a lot of men, and requires that you are very confident in who you are and what you are doing.

An anecdote I like to relate to friends who learn I was a stay at home Dad:

Our neighborhood (not in Indy at the time) was populated by a large number of career military officers, mostly men as you might expect. When the "guys" went out from time to time, I would receive a fair amount of crap from these overly macho guys, not always in fun. Some of the things they would say both to and about me were sometimes less than complimentary.

While this was often hurtful, I ignored it and chalked it up to the level of hormones they had, being military men.

Finally, one night while we were out playing poker, a Navy guy who was especially cruel to me at times said something disparaging to me about "staying home with all the women."

I promptly pointed out that maybe I wasn't so bad off, since I spent the days with everyone's wives while they were at work.

Silence.

After the gears started turning in their olive drab brains, they suddenly realized what I said.

No retorts after that. I made my point.

Again, use something positive and social for the kids to get yourself out and about. They will enjoy it and you'll make some new friends. Be confident in what you are doing, because you KNOW it's a good and honorable thing to do - man or woman.

I would also point out that I was glad to get back into the world of "work" after the kids got older. If anyone ever remarks about how nice it must be to stay at home all day, point out to them how your day starts when the kids get up and ends when they go to sleep - without breaks!

MR