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Yesterday was one year anniversary. It hit me hard. It actually hit me harder than when she died! All the memories , and the finality hit yesterday. Weird but yesterday was hard, I actually really felt terrible. I had a bad day yesterday. I cant express that I am so glad now that the one year is over, now next year on that date I can remember last year and not the death Its terrible. I really felt terrible and NOT one person, even my husband brought it up. Its like everyone wanted to brush it under the rug. I wanted also to get high so bad and escape !!!
Yesterday was one year anniversary. It hit me hard. It actually hit me harder than when she died! All the memories , and the finality hit yesterday. Weird but yesterday was hard, I actually really felt terrible. I had a bad day yesterday. I cant express that I am so glad now that the one year is over, now next year on that date I can remember last year and not the death Its terrible. I really felt terrible and NOT one person, even my husband brought it up. Its like everyone wanted to brush it under the rug. I wanted also to get high so bad and escape !!!
Yeah, men can stink with stuff like that.
What really stinks is having a birthday close to when they go.
I'm sorry about the sad anniversary, Steve, but I'm glad to hear you didn't pick up. Picking up would surely create a diversion from the pain of losing your mother, but at what cost?
i'm sorry to hear about your loss, and i can only imagine how difficult it must be to feel all alone on the anniversary of her.
celebrate her life by remembering all the good memories, make a powerpoint slideshow or something and have all of your wonderful pictures along with a favorite song.........let people know (by talking about it) that you want her memories to still be a part of your life.
your husband (and others), i suspect didn't mention anything because they didn't want to make you sad. they probably thought that if you don't remember, it wouldn't hurt as much. let them know that it's ok to talk about her, and that there are many wonderful things to be said about the time she spent with you all.
THey may have simply wanted to spare you the pain.
I know I thought about not bringing up such dates concerning my dad who died last year to my mother because it always makes her cry (she had a major stroke and dates are kind of strange to her now) but I think it is important to reminisce with her and let that happen so I do.
thanks, we all got thru it but boy was it rough!! It was actually harder than the death! I did manage not to escape into an oblivious of drugs or booze. I feel a huge acceptance and sense of relief now that its over. We can all move on and next year not think of this terrible death, but feel better about life and her moms life. Firsts are terrible!!
as far as the rest of my family and husband, I think they all had issues too. I think they were just as miserable as me, I did not look at it that way but it was hard for them too. Everyone just went into their own silent pain that day. I am so glad its over!! Funny, I think we are thru the worst !!
as far as the rest of my family and husband, I think they all had issues too. I think they were just as miserable as me, I did not look at it that way but it was hard for them too. Everyone just went into their own silent pain that day. I am so glad its over!! Funny, I think we are thru the worst !!
It's very hard..peopled deal with it in different ways....My brother was 3 months on 8/13..I avoid Facebook now on the anniversaries as my two sisters post to his FaceBook page, to me it's pointless, he can no longer read it but I guess it helps them but I don't need to see it....
Very sorry about your loss. Re not bringing it up, pls don't pass that off as a "guy thing." Many (I suspect the vast majority) of people do not observe such "anniversaries" and I'm one of them. To each their own.
I hope you find comfort in the fact that you HAVE all those memories. I love my mom, but we are not close and I will have precious few such memories when she is gone.
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