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But it is different in different parts of the country and the experience of people is different. I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida and I don't have a southern accent. I haven't had one since junior high which was a long time ago, but I wanted to show the white kids that I was just as bright as they were and could speak just as well or better than they could. But with black males, it's different because of the whole macho thing. Intelligent black females, who spoke well with nearly perfect grammar and diction, might have been accused of trying to be white and had to deal with being called Oreos and Uncle Toms, but us guys had to deal with being called **** and sissies as well even though we weren't "gay" just because we talked so funny to the young, not as intelligent, macho "ghetto" black "thugs". It was an extremely difficult period in my life. And if Fairfaxian has had similar experiences to what I had growing up, I can understand him wanting to live somewhere where there is less of a chance of him being called a *** or a sissy just because of the way he talks even though he may not be "gay." This is what the intelligent black males had to deal with and some of us have scars even to this day that have just never healed from that. So excuse us if we want to live somewhere where we are less likely to be persecuted even to this day because we want to show the world that not all black males are these ghetto thug types. This is part of what perpetuates the "ghetto mentality" and that is the fact that a lot of the young bright black kids in the "ghetto" simply don't have a peer group and don't fit in, but want to fit in because of the loneliness and isolation they experience being different from their peer group. They don't want to be ostracized and as a result, we lose them. They end up being shallowed back into the "ghetto" if not completely destroyed by it the way I almost was. I don't want to hear anybody dissing me about dissing my own kind when I was almost destroyed by my own kind. You have to have walked in my shoes, and I have a higher level of consciousness and awareness than most people realize.
As a person that has lived in overwhelmingly White environments, I will say that you'll be surprised by how many White people actually question your "Blackness" if you aren't "flamboyant" or "stereotypical" about being Black as well.
People also have to realize that there are Black folks that speak proper English, get a great education and so forth that are revered in the Black community. I think people get too caught up or sensitive sometimes about people picking on them, like being among someone else will make things better. I wonder if people think about people like Cornel West, Eric Michael Dyson and Michelle Obama that came from predominately Black environs and might have been picked on, but still are viewed in high esteem in the black community. So, the acting "White" thing to me gets over blown sometimes and can also have a sense of truth if one is trying too hard to "fit in".
I say all of that to say, you can live wherever you want to live, as nothing is guaranteed and you might even be surprised about how you will be recieved. Part of it is about mindset, searching for that niche and keeping your mind open and in perspective even if others don't.
Last edited by ckhthankgod; 12-25-2009 at 11:29 AM..
Yes, I have heard what you are saying about Miami.....that it is nice....and everyone doesn't
speak Spanish to live there...I know it is definitely multi-cultural....I would love to come
and check it out...I have never been to Florida....the alligators scare me though....LOL
Wow....I was reading your views on how Young Black Males are treated....that is very sad
to me.....something has definitely got to change...The Whole Ghetto Mentality is killing and
actually tragic...and sad.....
Great Post...I understand where you are coming from
I'm not sure I do or what is so great about the post. Care to translate? Is this person saying my experience wasn't real or valid, that I'm too sensitive or what? Don't belittle my experience when you were not there and when that remains the experience of many young black people today who grew up in environments similar to mine. I'm just trying to impress upon you how damaging that whole situation can be and how different parts of the country are better than others in that regard and why I understand where Farifaxian is coming from.
I'm not sure I do or what is so great about the post. Care to translate? Is this person saying my experience wasn't real or valid, that I'm too sensitive or what? Don't belittle my experience when you were not there and when that remains the experience of many young black people today who grew up in environments similar to mine. I'm just trying to impress upon you how damaging that whole situation can be and how different parts of the country are better than others in that regard and why I understand where Farifaxian is coming from.
No one is downplaying anything. My point is that going somewhere else doesn't necessarily guarantee anything for the "non-stereotypical" Black dude, in which I was considered as by some and many overcome what ever ridicule they might have received. That "damage" can vary depending on the person, but in spite of that, I'm saying that you should put all of it into proper perspective and be honest with yourself, regardless. Like I said, being a different type of people doesn't necessarily mean that all will be well, when you can find those you can get along with right where you are if you look.
No one is downplaying anything. My point is that going somewhere else doesn't necessarily guarantee anything for the "non-stereotypical" Black dude, in which I was considered as by some and many overcome what ever ridicule they might have received. That "damage" can vary depending on the person, but in spite of that, I'm saying that you should put all of it into proper perspective and be honest with yourself, regardless. Like I said, being a different type of people doesn't necessarily mean that all will be well, when you can find those you can get along with right where you are if you look.
Of course nothing is guaranteed, but some places are better than other such as the major metropolitan areas rather than outlying areas and those places in-between. Nothing means all will be well, and of course you are speaking in general and not to me in particular even though you quoted me because I certainly don't need to be told "you should put it all into proper perspective and be honest with myself" at my age.
Of course nothing is guaranteed, but some places are better than other such as the major metropolitan areas rather than outlying areas and those places in-between. Nothing means all will be well, and of course you are speaking in general and not to me in particular even though you quoted me because I certainly don't need to be told "you should put it all into proper perspective and be honest with myself" at my age.
Of course....I'm not here to be preachy, but just encouraging whoever comes across the thread.
Yes, the major metros usually are good, comparably speaking. Same with college towns, if not more so. That's probably because they are too busy or occupied to think about anything else and tend to have a higher volume of pluralism. Where I'm from, you might something here and there, but usually it is tame.
Oh, no I am not belittling your experiences at all.....experienced some of the same things as
you did...though I am female.....but as I have gotten older, I realized a lot of it has to do
with how people are raised.....a lot of people have not been raised/////and thus the problems---
you were probably given love and direction...Many people do not get that...
I am sorry you have had to experience the ugly side of folks.....sounds like things are working
out better for you in Miami then Jacksonville.....
One thing I do know is that your experiences are YOUR Experiences...I would never not validate what happened to you in your growing up years----people have
to walk a mile in your shoes.....there is good and bad in all groups.....Black People are not a Monolithic group....
I think the type of upbringing that Michelle Obama had is the type of upbringing that Poor and Working Class and Middle Class Black Families had at one time---and still do
in some quarters---the world has changed a whole lot though since the 60's and 70's....but there are still Black, White, Latino, Asian Families that want the best for
there kids and families...regardless of class issues..
I think one of the mistakes I made growing up is that I made society's problems, and the problems of the culture around me, my problems and I internalized those problems when the problems really were with society and the culture around me. It took me a while to put things into perspective there as ckhthankgod said. When you are younger and so many people are telling you you are messed up for who you are, it's not easy to come to understand that the problems are really with the society or culture in which we live. At least, so far, in the new millennium, nobody has told me I don't sound black, which I interpret as a sign of progress.
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