Do People Who Move South for the Wrong Reasons Usually End Up Moving Back?
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I'm just curious, because this is the time of the year where you see a hundred posts here on C-D that look something like this:
My wife and I live in Long Island/New England/New Jersey/Ohio/etc. and we just cannot stand this cold weather/high taxes for one more day! We want to move to North Carolina/Tennessee/South Carolina/Georgia/Florida because we want to be somewhere warmer/cheaper. We don't have jobs lined up, but how hard can that be? We don't know a soul down there, so we hope to make good friends with our new neighbors. We are leaving all of our immediate friends and family behind, but we just know we'll love it once we get there and that won't matter. Does anyone know were a couple of non-religious liberals can move in the Southeast where we will be happy and feel right at home? Oh, and where we can be at the beach and the mountains within a couple of hours and find great New York style pizza and a bar to watch the Giants?
I mean, seriously, how many of these folks actually move South and actually end up liking it and staying? I'm really curious, because it seems so obvious to the casual reader that they are moving for all the wrong reasons and haven't begun to think it through, and then you see a smattering of threads like this:
Oh, yeah, North Carolina/South Carolina/Georgia/Tennessee is great if you love having super religious neighbors who keep asking you if you have a church family and are two faced backstabbers the rest of the time, you love huge bugs that bite, you love weather so humid that your eyeballs sweat, and there is a Baptist church on every corner. Get a life, I can't wait to get back to New York/New England/New Jersey/Ohio/etc. where they at least know how to make a decent pizza! Sheesh!
The folks who move and stay? North-easterners to Florida - lol - Big time. Florida is almost nothing but people from the North East now. Not really even considered "the South" anymore because of this! lol When I lived in Florida (I'm originally from Boston) I absolutely loved it and believe I should never have left to move to Texas. Now I live in Virginia (hate it). I have a 3yr old now and will never move back to Florida because it is the pedophile capital of the United States (lol), but ahhh... those palm trees and sun shiny days were absolutely awesome -- I was truly the happiest in my life when I lived in Florida.
The folks who move and stay? North-easterners to Florida - lol - Big time. Florida is almost nothing but people from the North East now. Not really even considered "the South" anymore because of this! lol When I lived in Florida (I'm originally from Boston) I absolutely loved it and believe I should never have left to move to Texas. Now I live in Virginia (hate it). I have a 3yr old now and will never move back to Florida because it is the pedophile capital of the United States (lol), but ahhh... those palm trees and sun shiny days were absolutely awesome -- I was truly the happiest in my life when I lived in Florida.
Pedophile capital of the U.S.? I think having one of the best systems at tracking sex offenders is a good thing rather than like other states that seem to let the sex offenders just go about their lives with no tracking.
Florida was also one of the first 4 states to implement the new federal guidelines for sex offender tracking.
What makes a reason for moving wrong? You can't know what it's like to live in a different place until you're actually there. Sometimes it turns out how you expected and sometimes it doesn't. That's the best part about living in the US, imo. There are so many different climates and cultures to choose from and if you try one out and it's not for you, then you can move again and try another one. I wouldn't critique someone's reasons for wanting to try living in another place. If someone has been freezing their butt off for a lifetime in New England, and they want to give it a go living in a warmer climate, then why is that not a valid reason for moving?
Does anyone who move anywhere for the "wrong" reasons end up happy or stay?
I don't get why the south is necessarily the target here. So yeah, better stay up there because the bible thumping mosquitoes are especially thick right now in this heat.
I moved to the South (North Carolina) from St. Louis about 4 1/2 years ago because my husband was in the Marine Corps and based there. At first, I was looking forward to the move as it was something new and different. In less than a year, I couldn't wait to move North of the Mason Dixon line again! We finally moved back to St. Louis when DH got out of the Marine Corps a little over a month ago.
In my opinion, the pros and cons of the south are as follows:
PROS:
The Winters aren't as harsh (although Winters don't usually bother me). In the 4 winters I lived there, I only experienced snow during 2 winters.
The Beaches are pretty, and Mrytle Beach is great for weekends / vacations any time of year
The cost of living is lower than the North East (but not nearly as low as areas of the Midwest)
CONS:
Although the cost of living is lower, wages are much lower also- so it's all relative.
Even with a Masters Degree, I had difficulty landing a decent job. The job I eventually held for the time I was in NC was probably the lowest paying I'd had since I was 18. Also, being a non-Union state (as is much of the South), working conditions, salary, etc were lousy compared to what I'd become accustomed to.
Unemployment in NC is among the highest in the nation, at almost 10%. Other areas of the South aren't too far behind (GA, SC, and KY all have unemployment higher than the national average).
Summers are PAINFUL. For too large a chunk of the year (in my opinion), the Summers are atrocious. The heat + high humidity = horrid!
I found it to be culturally boring. I realize that people's views will differ on this- but I'm one of those people who enjoys world class museums, theater, art galleries, etc. I personally found NC to be lacking in comparison to the Northern states. It was subsequently not a place I wanted to start a family as I felt they would lack exposure to these things.
Not liberal enough. Although I don't mind areas that are somewhat conservative, they do call the South the 'bible belt' for a reason. Plus, in some areas you'd think that the South had won the Civil War, or that it was still raging. Closed mindedness was definitely prevalent.
Mosquitoes. Sure, they have them here in St. Louis too- but they were definitely worse in NC!
When it does Snow, they don't know how to deal with it. Everything shuts down!
Honestly, my list could go on and on and on. I realize that not everyone will agree, but the South or North Carolina in particular just wasn't the place for me- and not a place I'd want to raise my family. Sure, it's great for a beach or mountain vacation, but that would be it. I wouldn't want to live there permanently.
With that said, I didn't really move there for the wrong reasons (I had no choice as DH was military), and I really wanted to love it- but I just couldn't. There definitely wasn't enough to encourage me to stay there.
EDIT: I do have to add though, that I DO love Nashville. If I did have to live in the South, Nashville would be far and away my #1 pick as it's close enough to the Midwest to take advantage of the culture the North has to offer, while still offering Southern hospitality.'
DOUBLE EDIT: Yes, I'm one of those people who moved and then complained... however... I didn't exactly move for the wrong reasons as I said (no choice in the matter!)
Being from TN and having lived in IA, I'd agree with most of what you said. I suppose if you're coming from NY/NJ/MA/CA or some other very high cost area, the South would seem "cheap," but if you're coming from IA, MO, rural MN, etc, it's probably about even. The taxes in IA were pretty steep, no doubt, but considering the salary I was offered in IA was more than 50% higher than anything I had been offered in TN at the time, the salary increase alone more than made up for the additional taxes paid. I was 25 when I was offered the position and was offered more in IA on the first offer than my parents had made in the South in their entire lives. Not only was the pay better, but it was also much easier for people to get jobs. It was quite common to hear "now hiring" advertisements on the radio in NE, IA, and MN while I was traveling - I've never heard jobs being advertised on the radio down here.
Other things in the South can be more expensive than expected as well. I found food to be a good 10%-25% higher on average in TN than in IA, and there is a 5.5% sales tax on unprepared groceries in TN, when there isn't one in IA. Even though there is no state income tax in TN, most people make so little here that they would pay very little if any net tax in most of the states which have a state income tax.
NC has a much higher tax burden and cost of living than TN, so I can see how it would be difficult to make it coming from the Midwest.
I live in the TN mountains, so the weather here is much more temperate than in many other regions. We rarely have any severe weather, it's not extremely hot during the summer, and the winters aren't particularly cold or snowy. The weather here is far preferable to Iowa's.
There isn't much in the way of culture in most of the South. People tend to be, on average, not as educated and poorer than in many other areas. Whereas education may be appreciated and well-funded somewhere like MA, it's viewed with derision and skepticism here in Appalachia, but that skepticism is not without merit. When there aren't jobs in your area that require an education, it's reasonable to view education as useless. However, the fewer well-educated people you have, the less cultural activities, vibrancy, and good employers you have - it's a catch 22 and not easily solved.
The posters on the TN and western NC forums who are posting about relocation are almost always retirees. I rarely see posters who have gotten a high skill job in the area or someone relocating their business. The South is a good place to retire to, but it's a difficult place for many to make ends meet, and the low wages also result in less savings over time.
What makes a reason for moving wrong? You can't know what it's like to live in a different place until you're actually there. Sometimes it turns out how you expected and sometimes it doesn't. That's the best part about living in the US, imo. There are so many different climates and cultures to choose from and if you try one out and it's not for you, then you can move again and try another one. I wouldn't critique someone's reasons for wanting to try living in another place. If someone has been freezing their butt off for a lifetime in New England, and they want to give it a go living in a warmer climate, then why is that not a valid reason for moving?
When you have to move again in a short period of time because you can't take it any longer.
I moved to the South (North Carolina) from St. Louis about 4 1/2 years ago because my husband was in the Marine Corps and based there. At first, I was looking forward to the move as it was something new and different. In less than a year, I couldn't wait to move North of the Mason Dixon line again! We finally moved back to St. Louis when DH got out of the Marine Corps a little over a month ago.
In my opinion, the pros and cons of the south are as follows:
PROS:
The Winters aren't as harsh (although Winters don't usually bother me). In the 4 winters I lived there, I only experienced snow during 2 winters.
The Beaches are pretty, and Mrytle Beach is great for weekends / vacations any time of year
The cost of living is lower than the North East (but not nearly as low as areas of the Midwest)
CONS:
Although the cost of living is lower, wages are much lower also- so it's all relative.
Even with a Masters Degree, I had difficulty landing a decent job. The job I eventually held for the time I was in NC was probably the lowest paying I'd had since I was 18. Also, being a non-Union state (as is much of the South), working conditions, salary, etc were lousy compared to what I'd become accustomed to.
Unemployment in NC is among the highest in the nation, at almost 10%. Other areas of the South aren't too far behind (GA, SC, and KY all have unemployment higher than the national average).
Summers are PAINFUL. For too large a chunk of the year (in my opinion), the Summers are atrocious. The heat + high humidity = horrid!
I found it to be culturally boring. I realize that people's views will differ on this- but I'm one of those people who enjoys world class museums, theater, art galleries, etc. I personally found NC to be lacking in comparison to the Northern states. It was subsequently not a place I wanted to start a family as I felt they would lack exposure to these things.
Not liberal enough. Although I don't mind areas that are somewhat conservative, they do call the South the 'bible belt' for a reason. Plus, in some areas you'd think that the South had won the Civil War, or that it was still raging. Closed mindedness was definitely prevalent.
Mosquitoes. Sure, they have them here in St. Louis too- but they were definitely worse in NC!
When it does Snow, they don't know how to deal with it. Everything shuts down!
Honestly, my list could go on and on and on. I realize that not everyone will agree, but the South or North Carolina in particular just wasn't the place for me- and not a place I'd want to raise my family. Sure, it's great for a beach or mountain vacation, but that would be it. I wouldn't want to live there permanently.
With that said, I didn't really move there for the wrong reasons (I had no choice as DH was military), and I really wanted to love it- but I just couldn't. There definitely wasn't enough to encourage me to stay there.
EDIT: I do have to add though, that I DO love Nashville. If I did have to live in the South, Nashville would be far and away my #1 pick as it's close enough to the Midwest to take advantage of the culture the North has to offer, while still offering Southern hospitality.'
DOUBLE EDIT: Yes, I'm one of those people who moved and then complained... however... I didn't exactly move for the wrong reasons as I said (no choice in the matter!)
I can't tell if you're trolling or not.
What part of NC did you move to? 'NC' could mean anything from Fayetteville or Salisbury to Raleigh or Charlotte. For the record, I live in the Triangle and I would definitely disagree regarding your points about the politics--it is very liberal here, the unemployment--it's 5.5% here, and I'd disagree on the point about museums/art galleries/theaters and so forth. It seems like you must have been in a much crummier part of the state.
I have seen one or two other posters crop up who go on a life-long mission to spread the word about how horrible NC is and they always end up being in some kind of terrible place like Hickory or Asheboro.
Quote:
NC has a much higher tax burden and cost of living than TN, so I can see how it would be difficult to make it coming from the Midwest.
Tennessee actually has a higher tax burden for low-income and lower-middle income households due to the regressive nature of their tax system.
What part of NC did you move to? 'NC' could mean anything from Fayetteville or Salisbury to Raleigh or Charlotte. For the record, I live in the Triangle and I would definitely disagree regarding your points about the politics--it is very liberal here, the unemployment--it's 5.5% here, and I'd disagree on the point about museums/art galleries/theaters and so forth. It seems like you must have been in a much crummier part of the state.
I have seen one or two other posters crop up who go on a life-long mission to spread the word about how horrible NC is and they always end up being in some kind of terrible place like Hickory or Asheboro.
Tennessee actually has a higher tax burden for low-income and lower-middle income households due to the regressive nature of their tax system.
One of my cousins moved from Pittsburgh to the Triangle area of North Carolina and her salary actually increased. I guess it depends on the job.
She's happy with her life in North Carolina. You are right, there are crummy parts to every state. I think some people move to that crummy place and then make generalizations about the whole state.
If someone from the frigid Northeast or Midwest would like to move to a place with a warmer climate, then choose from CA, FL, AZ, or NV. The South is so different from the rest of the country, and it's too darn cold in the winter!
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