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If I dated a girl like that, we would easily break up in a few months even if I were to relax my ultra frugal yet easy-going life.
Well the fact that he wasn't as frugal as me was a good thing in some ways. He got me to upgrade my apartment (as in buy a coulch and a TV, neither of which I had). And he found some cool Van Gogh prints for free for my walls. So, he was good for me in a lot of ways. I really love my apartment now . But when it came to him wantime me to get a 2nd job and/or find a new job so I my paycheck could be the ticket to a bigger house....that was too much. He was the one who wanted the big house. I told him I'd be happy to live in his 3BR townhouse. He said he was about to 'outgrow' it. I'm thinking to myself "How does one person and 3 cats outgrow a 3BR townhouse???"
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Originally Posted by ragnarkar
And I never really had much luck with the ladies until the late 20's.. For guys, unless you live in a culture where it's normal for men to date older women, your dating pool actually grows as you grow older.. For me (I'm 28), any single woman from 18 to 30 is fair game..
Well all I can say is there was quite a long thread a few months back about a 35 year old single guy who was out to lunch in his 20s who was wondering where all the good single women went. The reality is the good ones get married and stay married, usually by the time they're 30. The ones who are not good marriage material get married & divorced, have kids out of wedlock, go from one weird relationship to another, etc.
i try to primarily burden myself and not my wife when it comes to being frugal. but i do try to give her some limits with spending and sometimes when it gets out of hand ill mention it to her. she usually says she is sorry and will try to cut back. she definitely doesnt go crazy but she is much more of a spender than i am. also, i am very fortunate in my financial situation that we really dont have to be frugal so sometimes she mentions it but doesnt really push it too much. i am just a very careful person and like to cover all my bases and not count on anything being there for me. one of the main reasons i dont like being a home owner is being tied to such an expensive an non-liquid asset. if something happened and i wanted to leave the country asap, the house would be a loss. yeah, most people think im going overboard with that but who knows.
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
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I am definitely more frugal than my husband. I also have a degree in finance so I write up the budget, make decisions on how much to save for college and retirement, where to invest it, etc. He has input, of course, but is just really not that interested in our finances, although he definitely likes to buy things. So I basically take out what we need to cover our expenses and for savings (mortgage payment and 401(k) contribution are automatic). And he pretty much spends the rest. If it were up to him we'd spend a lot more and save a lot less.
i try to primarily burden myself and not my wife when it comes to being frugal. but i do try to give her some limits with spending and sometimes when it gets out of hand ill mention it to her. she usually says she is sorry and will try to cut back. she definitely doesnt go crazy but she is much more of a spender than i am. also, i am very fortunate in my financial situation that we really dont have to be frugal so sometimes she mentions it but doesnt really push it too much. i am just a very careful person and like to cover all my bases and not count on anything being there for me. one of the main reasons i dont like being a home owner is being tied to such an expensive an non-liquid asset. if something happened and i wanted to leave the country asap, the house would be a loss. yeah, most people think im going overboard with that but who knows.
I agree with you on the home issue. I'm not sure what you mean about leaving the country. I'm assuming you mean you have the idea in the back of your mind that things could get really bad here in the US. I don't think you're going overboard with that thought, although other countries may be in the same situation and the ones in good shape probably won't be welcoming people from abroad with open arms.
As far as your wife goes...this is a personal issue...but it doesn't sound live you've really talked about money/investments, etc. together. Seems kinda odd to me. One of the reasons why my boyfriend & I broke up was that he couldn't talk openly about money. That's a dealbreaker for me.
I agree with you on the home issue. I'm not sure what you mean about leaving the country. I'm assuming you mean you have the idea in the back of your mind that things could get really bad here in the US. I don't think you're going overboard with that thought, although other countries may be in the same situation and the ones in good shape probably won't be welcoming people from abroad with open arms.
As far as your wife goes...this is a personal issue...but it doesn't sound live you've really talked about money/investments, etc. together. Seems kinda odd to me. One of the reasons why my boyfriend & I broke up was that he couldn't talk openly about money. That's a dealbreaker for me.
well, say my wife or daughter kills someone. it is in self defense but the evidence makes them appear guilty. i may want to pick up and go rather than let them stand trial. say there is some kind of political or religious crackdown against people like myself. id like to be able to leave while losing a minimum of my wealth. yes, maybe im crazy but i like to be free to move if ever necessary. maybe its just a new job and i dont want to sit trying to sell a house for 6 months (a less dramatic example).
i think me and my wife are pretty much on the same page. but she just needs to be reminded every now and then that there is no need to waste. she doesnt see the statements and sometimes loses track of her spending. we even went to path mark today with coupons and worked together trying to get the best deals. i think she actually enjoyed it and she wants to be more involved next time. its like a hobby that pays off.
...i may want to pick up and go rather than let them stand trial
...say there is some kind of political or religious crackdown
id like to be able to leave while losing a minimum of my wealth.
I definitely get the concern about having a big chunk tied up in RE that for many is purely a money pit of constant expense,
and even more for having that commitment interfere with being able to take advantage of other opportunities.
There are probably recognized tables for a range of percentages that the net worth of your home should be within.
House poor has never been good.
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trying to sell a house for 6 months (a less dramatic example).
Yes; a *far* less dramatic example
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Every choice we make means losing the opportunity to make a different choice. That's life.
But there are middle ground positions to work toward too.
In my case I chose this house with the idea of having tenants of some sort as a real part of the whole scheme;
or maybe by one of my coupled up grown kids.
I can rent out the 1200SF upstairs and live in the (soon to be created) 800SF 1BR Garden Apartment.
Or rent that out instead and live upstairs by myself or with someone else as I sometimes think I'd rather do.
A housemate tenant might be fine too for a while but long term I'm not so sure.
Or I could rent out both levels of the house and move away to some other place altogether.
There are lots of options to rent when you're within 5 miles of multiple university and major hospital campuses.
But if I really believed that I needed to consciously prepare for a breakdown in the social fabric of the world...
I'd probably either start doing that aggressively or just pull out the .44 now and be done with it all right now.
I'd probably either start doing that aggressively or just pull out the .44 now and be done with it all right now.
you can only be prepared for so much, but the more the better.
one other reason why buying was a better option for me (not the main reason) was my wife prefered it. i guess the freedom to make any changes that she wanted was important to her. for most people, buying a house hasnt been a losing experience. it was for the woman i bought my home from. the house i grew up in is probably worth about 2/3 what my parents paid for it about 20 years ago. but the summer house bought soon after is worth more than double.
the thing that could hurt my quality of life more than any loss ill take on my home is my wife not being happy. so i try to make smart financial decisions, but always make sure she is happy with them.
the thing that could hurt my quality of life more than any loss ill take on my home is my wife not being happy.
"if momma ain't happy... ain't nobody happy"
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. But when it came to him wantime me to get a 2nd job and/or find a new job so I my paycheck could be the ticket to a bigger house....that was too much. He was the one who wanted the big house. I told him I'd be happy to live in his 3BR townhouse. He said he was about to 'outgrow' it. I'm thinking to myself "How does one person and 3 cats outgrow a 3BR townhouse???" 
