[HockeyMom72]

Thank you for all your responses. From reading between the lines, my husband is not happy living in Florida, especially being so far away from family; me, the kids, his sister. He took the job there because he was out of work and had to. From what I can tell, he is just making the most out of a bad situation. I just hope I can too. Our daughter is graduating this May from college in upstate NY. He is flying up for that, but before doing so is making a side trip to Nevada. A former outsourced coworker, moved to outside Las Vegas (where my younger daughter wants to eventually move) and my husband is going to visit him and look at the area. Although I have never been to Nevada, I have an open mind on that. If in 5 to 8 years we can retire, I would prefer living there. That is really what gives me any hope; that this move now will only be temporary for a few more years.

[Floridabound09]

Originally Posted by Minniemom

Oh BOY, can I relate to you!

I put my house on the market and am making the move (from LI as well) at the end of this month. My husband went down there first - job transfer - to find a house. While I stayed here with the kids to sell our house. We are moving in 3 weeks and I have a ton of packing left to do. It all should be done by now, but I simply did not have the heart to do it. Although, soon I will have no choice. My kids are coming with me because they are so young - my oldest is five and loves the winter. I myself am also a spring/fall person who is not in love with summer. Same here - lived on LI my entire life and don't ulilize the beaches or pools much at all.

My situation is just reversed - I am leaving my mom (my best friend) and that is breaking my heart. I am an only child and she has been sick over this impending move. And like your daughter - she does not fly either. But due to Chlostrophobia(sp?). We are just going to have to find ways to visit = long car rides. Yuk!

I don't think I am depressed about it, but I am stressed - alot! I have been spending alot of time on this board and the people here have been really helpful and nice. I have even spoken on the phone to one of them. I am trying to keep a positive outlook about things. I think that if I make up my mind to be happy, then I will be. If I dwell on the negative and bad feelings, I will be miserable.

My husband has been wanting to move to FL since before we were married. My fault, I always said that I would go - but never thought it would actually happen. Well, he know how I feel, but his entire family is there and I guess I have to be fair and give it a chance.

If you ever need to talk - and just want to Florida bash with me , you can pm me. Good Luck to you and I hope you start to feel better about things.

Can you Mom move with you? I only have my mother in law left and very close to my kids. We have a couple years to decide on what to do but my wife and kids want to live in Florida so bad they are willing to pakck grandma in the trunk if they have too.

I can tell you that Vegas area is not great, very, very hot and dry. You will see no winters like you want.

At least in central Fla you can see changes wihtin a few hours drive north.

[MichelleH]

I can definitly relate as well to the sadness of leaving family in NY. My husband and I and our two boys (3 and 1) are probably moving to Fl end of summer. We lived down there for two years and I wanted to come back up because I missed my family. So we did and it turned out to be a big mistake because my husband made a lot more money down there and now we are struggling in NY. He is hoping to get his job back and we will see what we can afford since prices have risen so much since the first time we moved down (we lived in Wellington in Palm Beach County). I have definite mixed emotions about the move. I am heartbroken as well about leaving my mom and sister. My mom does not fly, and my sister doesn't get much time off from work-so we won't see a whole lot of eachother. My husband's family is down there...but I wouldn't say I am close with them.
I am trying to focus on all the things I loved about Wellington...the people were friendly, there was tons of shopping nearby and restaurants too. I am not much of a beach person either so that doesn't matter to me. Also, nothing beats pushing a stroller in a t-shirt in February! But then there are the negatives..Florida schools don't have the greatest rep, although Wellington schools are ok. The summers are horrible and no Florida-lover will ever change my mind about that!
Anyway I guess we just have to stay positive and hope for the best!

[Minniemom]

Originally Posted by Floridabound09

Can you Mom move with you? I only have my mother in law left and very close to my kids. We have a couple years to decide on what to do but my wife and kids want to live in Florida so bad they are willing to pakck grandma in the trunk if they have too.

I can tell you that Vegas area is not great, very, very hot and dry. You will see no winters like you want.

At least in central Fla you can see changes wihtin a few hours drive north.

I wish my mom could come with me. I would have her build a house on one of the many sites for sale in my development. But my parents are not old enough to retire yet. My dad could go and work with a friend who owns the same kind of business that my dad works in, but my mom is the problem. She has a good job with the county and has 8 more years to retire and be fully vested with medical for life. But she thinks that she just may go in two years (she will be 55) and will be half vested. Either way, it is going to be hard to leave her. We are so close... her and my kids.. forget about it. I keep telling her to come anyway - forget about the money thing. But I do have to be mature and think of her financial welfare. Of course I want her to be with us - it's just hard not to try to convince her to go.

[wsforchrist]

Is there any chance your daughters could possible later move with you?

[alexander59]

Some things in a marriage take two yes's having a child and moving are two of them. Getting divorced after a move is not unusual and there is nothing worse than being homesick.

[Sizzie]

Marriage is you become one and through I'm not married at this time I would never want to be away from my husband for long periods of times. I know many people do it. I've moved here from Connecticut and I love the scenery, but the weather changes quickly and if you have allergies watch out. As mentioned by others you could be a snowbird and that way you could visit your daughter in NY. Also talk with your husband because communication is always the best way.

[JohnN]

tough situation, if your daughters are older, how long til hubby retires?
maybe you can 1/2 and 1/2 it til then, and then move back north?
tell him about it and good luck

[BeenAroundTheBlock]

Sounds like a lot of us have been in the same boat. I too moved to FL from the Philly burbs because of my husband's job. I thought leaving behind my adult children and my job wouldn't be so bad. It was fun to go through the move but then after a few months, reality sent in. Finding a employment was very diffcult. My bubble was burst really early on. I left a Fortune 100 company with a great job and great pay. I worked my way up with no degree into a professional position so finding the same situation here was laughable. Over 50 too? The search became even harder. I did have one job interview for the almost exact same position I left behind... they wanted to pay 20k less. With a 50 mile day commute and travel to Europe and Asia, I was no longer interested in the position. I didn't work for 8 months (partly by choice) but I ended up having to start over as a contractor for another Fortune 100 but in a menial position and I now make 30k less. I did eventually get hired as a permenent employee. Thank goodness I don't really have to work for a living.

Leaving adult children was harder than I thought. I figured it's only a 2 hr plane ride, it won't be so bad. All 3 did come and go that first year here so it did help. But I missed the one-on-one terribly. My first year here was really hard. No job, no kids, no friends. I finally got fed up with my situation and joined a local women's group and quickly made friends. Many of the people who had recently joined were in the same situation as me. I found some really good friends and would encourage you to do the same when you move. Look for your nearest Newcomer's Club also. It really helped get me out of my funk.

Another great thing that happened for me was that after 2 years our daughters decided to move down with us. It's been wonderful to have them here! So don't give up, sometimes when you move....other's follow. I understand how hard all this is and I think you and your hubby really need to come together on all of this. It's hard enough to move let alone have a marriage that is not in tune. Best of luck and if you're moving to the Orlando area, let me know!

[Rachael84]

Originally Posted by Floridabound09

Can you Mom move with you? I only have my mother in law left and very close to my kids. We have a couple years to decide on what to do but my wife and kids want to live in Florida so bad they are willing to pakck grandma in the trunk if they have too.

I can tell you that Vegas area is not great, very, very hot and dry. You will see no winters like you want.

At least in central Fla you can see changes wihtin a few hours drive north.

What are you talking about, you see no change in Nevada? Drive 45 minutes away from Las Vegas into the mountains, there's feet and feet of snow. In Florida, you have to drive what, 12 hours to get snow/cold?

I'm not bashing Florida, I like it, but you have misconceptions about Las Vegas.