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When I saw this thread title, I thought it was going to be about clothing, not hair, LOL.
fleetiebelle, I am also in my mid-40's and going gray. I have dark hair and mine is in kind of a streak on top as well - it's a bit jarring occasionally if I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror when my head is down, the first time I was like OMG what is in my hair... oh yeah, that is my hair.
Oddly, I get compliments on it from time to time, and someone once asked me where I got it done. Errr, I wouldn't pay extra for this. But it's not terrible, and I just don't have the discipline or the willingness to spend money to have my hair colored. As has been stated, technology has come a long way, but I grew up back in the day when hair coloring gone wrong could turn your hair green or purple, before that was an acceptable thing, so I think I never really got past that concern.
Honestly, I can't fathom why anyone would tell another person they should do something different with their hair. Literally the only time I will comment on someone else's hair is to say "I love your hair" if I particularly do.
I can't fathom why anyone would tell another person what they should do with their hair, either. I can honestly say that I've never done that, in my life.
A few weeks ago on Facebook, a friend of mine circulated two photographs of herself in two different hairstyles that she had in the recent past and asked us to vote for which we preferred. About five of us were ASKED for our opinions. I selected one of the hairstyles, but emphasized that she is so pretty that she would look good in either style. I meant that.
The "edge" in the Grow Out The Grey crowd that I do not like are the following implications. -
1. That women who GOTG are somehow more virtuous and honest
2. That women who color their hair are wasteful and spend too much time on themselves.
3. That woman who go grey are feminists, and those who don't are independent free thinkers who do not care what men or society thinks of them.
4. That only women color their hair and men are comfortable in their own skin and accept and enjoy the aging process.
5. Coloring your hair is dangerous and unnatural and carcinogenic.
6. That eventually ALL WOMEN will celebrate aging and signs of aging. That this is the current trend, and the rest of us are some sort of cultural dinosaurs who have yet to see the light.
ALL of the assumptions and predictions are hurtful and judgmental. They are also incorrect.
Since hair color has been available, there have ALWAYS been women who have chosen to go grey. This i nothing new. Personally, I had one grandmother who had grey hair while the other had auburn hair. Both of them took care of themselves and visited the hairdresser every week.
MEN color their hair also. In fact, about half of the men I know color their grey.
Is it "wasteful"? - Um... I am not asking you, or the government to color my hair. It's MY money and I'll spend it however I please.
NOT all hair color is dangerous or carcinogenic. There are *some* dark hair colors that have a pigment in them that has been linked to cancer. There are also natural, organic hair colors.
There in nothing wrong with being fundamentally uncomfortable and less than delighted with the aging process. Age brings us closer to death.
While I am alive, I DO want to look as fit and youthful as possible. I don't have a lot of grey hair, but I can say that I LOVE the hair color that I was born with. It goes with my skin, my eyes and my personality. Blonde is my "natural" color. Grey is an uninvited interloper. I am maintaining the color that I have always had.
Then there is the word "Natural". I am very interested in eating healthy and natural foods. Wearing natural fabrics and avoiding processed foods. HOWEVER, I dye my lashes and brows, I have my nails done because I have always had brittle nails, I wear foundation and blush because "naturally" I can look pale and pasty.
To each their own. I have had fantasy hair colors balayage of purple, turquoise, melon, pink, green, blue and more. It's a temporary color that washes out, and my friends are the proprietors of the first fantasy hair color manufacturer in the US. I enjoy their natural, non-toxic, chemical free colors. https://manicpanic.com/
It's a lot easier for blondes with fair skin to keep the blonde hair forever. It looks good on them and they can make it to their dying (no pun intended) day with blonde hair.
For brunettes with darker skin, it is a little more complicated, and the point at which something needs to be done is different for every person. I was very fortunate in that my hair started going grey all over, not in patches or streaks, so that I was able to bring it up gradually and finally when everything was grey, I just stepped off the ladder and swam naturally grey. I would love to still be a blonde as I was when in the transition stage, but......somehow it never looked right with my skin. Now I'm wondering what to do with my eyebrows because they are a mottled black and grey. I've gone to brown brow pencil but it's not quite right.
This thread is so timely for me! I am 48 years old and just started dying my hair. After only two dye jobs, I am seriously considering stopping. I have very short hair, so that drives up the expense for me. But even without the expense, I think to myself, why? My hairdresser never pressured me to do it; she simply said the "right time" is when it bothers you enough to do something about it. If we didn't generally go gray around the face first, I would never have done it.
My mom's hair is not gray, it's bright white. From the gray hairs that I've seen pop up on my head, I think I will be the same. Jamie Lee Curtis is my "short hair, gray hair" hero. All this to say...one of these days, I'm just going to do it!
Why get a hairdresser to do it? A box of Garnier costs about $8 every six weeks. It is super easy to do, especially with short hair. I would never have a professional do my hair, I'd be afraid they'd mess it up. I love my boxed color. I have very mousy hair so I plan to continue to dye it until I'm too old to date anymore OR i can see that I've gone all silver like my mom's hair. How old is that? IDK. We'll find out when we get there.
Why get a hairdresser to do it? A box of Garnier costs about $8 every six weeks. It is super easy to do, especially with short hair. I would never have a professional do my hair, I'd be afraid they'd mess it up. I love my boxed color. I have very mousy hair so I plan to continue to dye it until I'm too old to date anymore OR i can see that I've gone all silver like my mom's hair. How old is that? IDK. We'll find out when we get there.
Maybe you get better with practice, but I've never thought that dying my own hair was easy the few times that I tried. It's messy. It spatters in your bathroom. It can stain your towels and your skin. It's easy to miss spots or oversaturate in others. Having someone who can see the back of your head and knows what they're doing is worth more than saving money especially on your hair, that everyone will see
Why get a hairdresser to do it? A box of Garnier costs about $8 every six weeks. It is super easy to do, especially with short hair. I would never have a professional do my hair, I'd be afraid they'd mess it up. I love my boxed color. I have very mousy hair so I plan to continue to dye it until I'm too old to date anymore OR i can see that I've gone all silver like my mom's hair. How old is that? IDK. We'll find out when we get there.
Same. My natural hair color is medium brunette. When I got into my mid 40's my overall color started to fade into a mousy brown shade along with a streak of white. It really washed me out.
So, one day, I picked up a box of Garnier and I've been coloring it ever since. It doesn't have the natural highlights that my hair did when I was younger, but it's close enough. I'm now 57 and, judging from my roots, I think I would have a head of white hair now if I stopped coloring it. But, like I said, a faded out color like that does nothing for my skin tone. I prefer to dye it.
Maybe you get better with practice, but I've never thought that dying my own hair was easy the few times that I tried. It's messy. It spatters in your bathroom. It can stain your towels and your skin. It's easy to miss spots or oversaturate in others. Having someone who can see the back of your head and knows what they're doing is worth more than saving money especially on your hair, that everyone will see
I have an old holey tee shirt and a raggedy old towel that I use when I dye my hair. I have never splattered dye all over my bathroom or made a mess. The color goes on even. I don't have thick hair, though, so maybe that's why it's easier for me. I always keep the dye until after i wash and style my hair right after dying it. That way, if I've missed some spots I can redye those sections. So far I have not needed to do that.
I once had a hairdresser tell me that I do a good job with my dying. So, I guess I've got the technique down after all these years.
Garnier boxed dye for all over color once every 6 weeks. Clairol root touch up once in between dyes. I also do my own nails. I know that gel polish is the in thing these days but I prefer a clean, soft pinkish shade of regular polish - something like Champaign Toast.
Last edited by springfieldva; 03-25-2023 at 02:05 PM..
The women who are turning grey into the new black - 60 Minutes Australia
I went grey 12-1/2 years ago, after growing it out for 2 years. Finally was able to have all the artificial color cut off. I got stopped every day about my hair - all positive. You have to bite the bullet - no more coloring. Suffer through the growout, especially if it's completely grey like mine was. I got a lot of disgusted and horrified looks for about 18 months, but it was all worth it.
Many women frost their hair, to transition into full gray. And/or wear hats & wigs.
If a woman is blonde, it's not so bad. Dark hair is quite a difference. No matter what, gray is aging. Even for those young women who age early, some of them in their 20s.
At some point I'll have to do it. I'll get so old that it'll be too difficult to maintain, and too physically difficult (I color my own hair).
Maybe I'll drop dead younger, with hair touched up that month already. Although I read that hair continues to grow after death, I plan on being cremated.
I have an old holey tee shirt and a raggedy old towel that I use when I dye my hair. I have never splattered dye all over my bathroom or made a mess. The color goes on even. I don't have thick hair, though, so maybe that's why it's easier for me. I always keep the dye until after i wash and style my hair right after dying it. That way, if I've missed some spots I can redye those sections. So far I have not needed to do that.
I once had a hairdresser tell me that I do a good job with my dying. So, I guess I've got the technique down after all these years.
Garnier boxed dye for all over color once every 6 weeks. Clairol root touch up once in between dyes. I also do my own nails. I know that gel polish is the in thing these days but I prefer a clean, soft pinkish shade of regular polish - something like Champaign Toast.
I do my own hair, too. I also use Garnier....I never die all my hair, choosing to let it fade a bit, and touching up the roots (using the Garnier) and dragging the color down a bit, and maybe a few strips of the new color, to blend it in. It looks very natural, I think.
I'm so glad I tried Garnier. My prior color I used for years was the very cheapo Clairol Balsam - it was great! I'd get compliments from others, my hair was shiny, the color was true. It did fade quickly, but then it was pretty cheap. After it was discontinued I tried several other brands & colors....all horrible. Then I tried Garnier Nutrisse...a winner!
I don't understand why people pay to have their nails done (except for young women who don't do anything physical w/their hands yet). It's so expensive and can be done at home. I do mine, but then my nails don't look great. I spend hours on computers and work in yard & do housework & scrub toilets, etc. But they look okay for a few days after I do them. I like a lightish pinky-champagne color on my nails, or a light true pink. Gel polish damages the nail, is my understanding, so I haven't tried that.
I used to work a lot of hours, so I didn't have time to go to the salon often or sit for manicures. I'd do my roots at 10 at night, if I had to. Before I worked a lot, I didn't have the extra money for luxuries like that.
I'm in my 60's and only now is the gray really starting to come in. I have to keep after it with color, deep conditioning, and frequent touch-ups.
But, I'm going to say what one of my favorite aunts used to say. As long as there is hair color, I will never be gray.
My mother-in-law used to brag about how everyone loved her gray hair.
Then, after some encouraging by her daugher to finally get a "make over" at the salon, she chose to cover her gray in a soft, flattering light caramal color with golden hilights. Instantly took 10 years off of her.
I've never seen a woman who covered her gray with a flattering color treatment and style who didn't look immediately younger and fresher. It's work and money, admittedly, but so is keeping fit as we get older.
My opinion only of course.
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I have had fantasy hair colors balayage of purple, turquoise, melon, pink, green, blue and more. It's a temporary color that washes out, and my friends are the proprietors of the first fantasy hair color manufacturer in the US. I enjoy their natural, non-toxic, chemical free colors. 
