Do you think society looks down on men who date larger women? (washed, scent)
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I think some women look down on a presentable man who chooses to date a larger woman, because the other women think that a thinner woman is more "deserving" of a presentable man than a fat woman. So the fat woman is taking away something from the thin women and that's bad.
I also think that some men look down on a man who dates a bigger woman, because if the man is presentable, it "sends a message" to other women that fat women can get dates too. This in turn may "encourage" other women to let go a little and maybe gain a little weight. Then that means that if more women gain weight, then the "supply" of thinner women is diminished, and that is bad.
Yeah, I think any young guys would think "He can afford to be with the hottest women, why does he allow her to get fat? Why doesn't he leave her for a fitter girl? If an out-of-shape girl thinks it's realistic for her to be with this Adonis and she's not punished for being out-of-shape what hope is there for an average guy like me to get a hot girl?"
I'm not saying this is the case for everyone... but a male friend of mine told me that often some men who date larger woman do so because they enjoy the spoils & being taken care of (i.e. $, housing, meals, bills ) and can get away with more on the sly (i.e. flirting/cheating). They don't need to bring their 'A game', and some big girls will accept C, D, and even F game material from a man, then just overcompensate like hell to keep the man... One miserable guy I know only stays with his child's ( borderline obese ) mother because she makes it so easy for him to stay- pays all the rent & bills, he doesn't even have a job so he's stuck anyway.
What I find strange is how guys like this cannot fathom that anyone could have a different taste. Some people will even go so far as to try to say that people who have a different taste must have something wrong with them, because their tastes don't line up with the so-called "norm" (in the minds of the people who care so much). It's either that or admit that other people's tastes don't always have to make sense to everyone else, and that's fine, because how is that important to understand other people's tastes anyway? Why be upset or bothered by it?
That's always a red flag to me. It is a sure sign of a liar, or someone who isn't honest with themselves and that manifest itself in the behavior you pointed out above. I don't have to be attracted to my friend's or peers mates to have my preferences validated or my manhood card approved. So when other people can't do that, but have to be open and ugly about it with as many disparaging comments they can come up with I just assume they like those things to, they just can't negotiate it in to the value system or code or peer group they choose to live with or by. It that type that came up with the "moped" designation for certain women. You know how it goes. If people were just more honest with themselves and confident in their choices, none of this nonsense would every come up or be talked about.
I guess this question is tied into the whole issue of whether society looks down on larger women in general, but this thread is about society's perceptions of men who date larger women. By "larger" I mean larger than themselves. I am not dealing with the issue of large men dating large women. More so thin men who date large women.
I think society looks down on men who do this because it implies the man couldn't "do better" and it doubly implies that a larger woman doesn't deserve a man who is thinner. So both are seen kind of "at fault". I also think that society probably assumes that the man couldn't possibly be sexually attracted to his larger partner, so he must be just dating her because he's alone and has many other issues that a thinner woman couldn't overlook. I feel it's more likely for men to think this about other men but I feel maybe women could think that, too. I am not sure about female opinion on the matter. Do some women think a guy who has dated a large woman is not dateable?
I also feel there *might* be a double standard when it's the other way around. Like if a larger guy has a thin woman, both men and women cheer him on, but when a larger woman has a thin man, the man is seen as the loser and the woman is given no credit.
These are my theories. I'm not saying society is "right" for doing this, I'm just pointing out possible theories. What are your thoughts, O diverse opinionated people of city-data?
we had a buddy who liked the fatties. Good looking guy too who was not fat. He was the best wing man in the entire history of civilzation and everyone loved going out with him. He always took the fat one. God bless him.
I'm not saying this is the case for everyone... but a male friend of mine told me that often some men who date larger woman do so because they enjoy the spoils & being taken care of (i.e. $, housing, meals, bills ) and can get away with more on the sly (i.e. flirting/cheating). They don't need to bring their 'A game', and some big girls will accept C, D, and even F game material from a man, then just overcompensate like hell to keep the man... One miserable guy I know only stays with his child's ( borderline obese ) mother because she makes it so easy for him to stay- pays all the rent & bills, he doesn't even have a job so he's stuck anyway.
Bingo. Of course it isn't true for all of them, but I imagine it is true for a large portion. It's probably just a whole lot easier being with a big girl. Low maintenance, never late with dinner, no other guys hitting on her, and she'll put up with a whole lotta crap because she'd rather do that than be alone.
Speaking for society, no one really cares if men date larger women, smaller women, in between women, women that aren't really women or men pretending to be women.
There are these guys who care what "other people think" (his buddies) because some guys view women as arm candy, someone to decorate his arm, to impress his friends that he was able to bag a hottie. It's not like she has a personality or anything ...
I sense from your posts that you have a real problem with attractive women. You seem to presume them to be empty-headed, talent-less, unmotivated, no personality, etc. What drives this? That's kind of like assuming all the big girls are undesirable, isn't it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by elvira310
The Mysterious Benefactor no doubt has no attraction for bigger women, and that's fine, he's definitely not alone in that. What I find strange is how guys like this cannot fathom that anyone could have a different taste. Some people will even go so far as to try to say that people who have a different taste must have something wrong with them, because their tastes don't line up with the so-called "norm" (in the minds of the people who care so much). It's either that or admit that other people's tastes don't always have to make sense to everyone else, and that's fine, because how is that important to understand other people's tastes anyway? Why be upset or bothered by it?
I've not given any indication that I'm upset or bothered by anyone's tastes, only that I find them strange. Much like I view the guy who enjoys eating chilled monkey brains or some such thing. A "what is wrong with you"? kind of reaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elvira310
I'm going to make an assumption here and say that there is something wrong with someone who cares so much about what other people find attractive. This isn't some niche fetish sort of thing, big women date and get married all the time, we see couples where the woman is bigger, and somehow the couple seems happy anyway. This isn't some unheard of, rare thing. So let it go, it is what it is. It doesn't mean that there's something "wrong" with the guy. It's not necessary to be hating on the woman, she's her own person and she doesn't owe you anything, and she hasn't taken anything away from you. Life your life and stop being condemning about what other people do with theirs.
I do think more people are thinking condemning thoughts than are willing to admit it, like it's their business in the first place, and they need to get over it.
Again, I've given no indication that I do care "so much". In fact, I don't care at all. Nor have I condemned anyone for their choices. For those that like obese women, more power to em.
The difference here is that, I've been willing to be honest about how I see these type of men. No, I didn't choose my wife based on what my friends would think or how society would view me. But again, being honest, I do consider, to some degree, how I'm viewed by society. We all do. Only some of us are willing to admit it though.
And this all rings very hypocritical coming from someone who spent considerable time condemning men who would have trophy wives.
Bingo. Of course it isn't true for all of them, but I imagine it is true for a large portion. It's probably just a whole lot easier being with a big girl. Low maintenance, never late with dinner, no other guys hitting on her, and she'll put up with a whole lotta crap because she'd rather do that than be alone.
This post is so full of stereotypical misconceptions it is almost not worthy of a reply. "Never late with dinner?" "No other guys hitting on her?" There is a part of me that wants to be give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are trying to be funny with this post. Otherwise it is a sad display of [self edited so I don't get edited by the mods later]. I've dated everything from exotic dancer to BBW and many points in between and have not noticed a discernible difference in personalities that can be clearly tied to weight or body type. I've dated sweet girls who were lean and athletic, and total B's who were overweight. And the opposite as well.
The thing to remember is this: a lot of overweight women do not view themselves as undesirable due to their weight. They realize they will not appeal to everyone due to their weight, but a lot of them also know they still have mass appeal to a lot of men. One cannot reasonably expect a BBW who has a strong sense of self worth to allow herself to be shoehorned into the misguided stereotype described in the quoted post. Plenty of overweight women do, but the weight is not necessarily the distinguishing reason for it. I can make this claim because there are plenty of women who are not overweight who also fit the description. That these women exist very much takes the teeth out of the argument and belief that it is unique to those who are overweight, and therefore entirely undermines the stereotype given.
This thread can have it's differences that's for sure.
Reminded of a few yrs back where a soldier had married a Plump blonde and while stationed in the middle east she wrote him that there would be a surprise waiting him on his return back to the US.
So he is at the planes door looking for his wife when a strange looking blonde who was a "10" and looked like she had just stepped off the cover of a Vogue magazine runs up to him. He was startled and uneasy with this strange woman as he remembered his wife being plump when they got married and this woman did not look like her at all....True story.
This post is so full of stereotypical misconceptions it is almost not worthy of a reply. "Never late with dinner?" "No other guys hitting on her?" There is a part of me that wants to be give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are trying to be funny with this post. Otherwise it is a sad display of [self edited so I don't get edited by the mods later]. I've dated everything from exotic dancer to BBW and many points in between and have not noticed a discernible difference in personalities that can be clearly tied to weight or body type. I've dated sweet girls who were lean and athletic, and total B's who were overweight. And the opposite as well.
The thing to remember is this: a lot of overweight women do not view themselves as undesirable due to their weight. They realize they will not appeal to everyone due to their weight, but a lot of them also know they still have mass appeal to a lot of men. One cannot reasonably expect a BBW who has a strong sense of self worth to allow herself to be shoehorned into the misguided stereotype described in the quoted post. Plenty of overweight women do, but the weight is not necessarily the distinguishing reason for it. I can make this claim because there are plenty of women who are not overweight who also fit the description. That these women exist very much takes the teeth out of the argument and belief that it is unique to those who are overweight, and therefore entirely undermines the stereotype given.
No one claimed that it was unique to overweight women, only that it's common among them. And calling it a "stereotype" doesn't make it untrue. As I mentioned before, you have your experience and I have mine. I've known several guys who dated big girls, and the reasons were much like D217 described, and it was obvious.
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"No other guys hitting on her?" There is a part of me that wants to be give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are trying to be funny with this post. Otherwise it is a sad display of [self edited so I don't get edited by the mods later]. I've dated everything from exotic dancer to BBW and many points in between and have not noticed a discernible difference in personalities that can be clearly tied to weight or body type. I've dated sweet girls who were lean and athletic, and total B's who were overweight. And the opposite as well. 
