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Then it goes to show men still expect women to be sex objects. I can't think of any other explanation if women aren't attractive enough to dress modestly and get noticed.
The more skin you show and the tighter the clothes the more attention you get.
I thought that applied everywhere?
The more skin you show and the tighter the clothes the more attention you get.
I thought that applied everywhere?
There are women who aren't like that. I don't think women should have to objectify themselves in order to ever have a romantic relationship. Besides, if that is the type of "attention" a woman needs to have, it says a lot about what she's willing to do just for a date, IMO. The truth is, if a woman wants to attract a guy who isn't just into her appearance and a quick lay she'll refrain from dressing revealing but the higher-quality guys are fewer.
I am typically not the person to go anecdotal, but the truth is I never had to dress that way for men to notice me. I dressed just like those modest girls and ended up getting married.
It's funny you mention it because a lot of women who do show skin and wear tight clothes complain about the sexual attention Sometimes I wonder what it is people want...when they dress more modestly they complain about the lack of attention and when they dress revealing they complain about the attention from the guys they don't like. lol. We can't have it our way all the time.
Last edited by Vintage_girl; 06-12-2014 at 12:35 AM..
Then it goes to show men still expect women to be sex objects. I can't think of any other explanation if women aren't attractive enough to dress modestly and get noticed.
This depends on the kind of guy that you are trying to attract. You don't have to be anything more than healthy and clean to attract a guy. The difference is that if you aren't trying to pull attention with your looks or body then you actually have to make an effort to either approach the guy or make sure that you get noticed in some other way (joke, intro, etc). Many women have convinced themselves that this type of active approach is less desireable and instead choose to use their looks to attract attention.
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Originally Posted by Vintage_girl
There are women who aren't like that. I don't think women should have to objectify themselves in order to ever have a romantic relationship. Besides, if that is the type of "attention" a woman needs to have, it says a lot about what she's willing to do just for a date, IMO. The truth is, if a woman wants to attract a guy who isn't just into her appearance and a quick lay she'll refrain from dressing revealing but the higher-quality guys are fewer.
Fewer in number, but roughly the same proportion. Casting a wide net (with your looks) is just that, is it not? You get the same ratio of undesirable guys to high quality guys. Said high quality guy is typically going to be able to discern for himself whether a woman is attractive (either physically or intellectually) in fairly short order. The problem for the frumpily attired woman isn't the high-quality guy, the problem is the rest of the women at the bar/beach/volleyball match who are all trying to attract the same high quality guy and using their physical assets to do it. Interesting conversation and a great personality are much more difficult to get across (3-5 minute conversation) to a potential date than I-look-amazing-in-this-tight-miniskirt (which takes about 2 seconds).
Quote:
I am typically not the person to go anecdotal, but the truth is I never had to dress that way for men to notice me. I dressed just like those modest girls and ended up getting married.
It's funny you mention it because a lot of women who do show skin and wear tight clothes complain about the sexual attention. Sometimes I wonder what it is people want...when they dress more modestly they complain about the lack of attention and when they dress revealing they complain about the attention from the guys they don't like. lol. We can't have it our way all the time.
Heh. Suffice it to say that you have touched upon on of the traditional complaints that many men have about the inconsistencies between what women claim and what they actually do. I'll leave it at that.
I too, like to look polished and wear flattering and feminine clothes (what I consider "classy") and yes, it's nice to know there are men who appreciate that. Even though I'm married, it gives me hope for my younger relatives who want to meet men.
This is how I dress. I think men appreciate a lady who looks polished and feminine. I wear very classic styles too.
I did encounter a new one not long ago. Someone asked (after checking me out) "are you over 18?" I wasn't sure what the right answer was. (He looked well over 18! Was probably close to my age.)
On the flip side, I started biking around town for errands and socializing not long ago. (My bike is also really cute -- seriously!)
The catcalls are so much more clever (and pleasant) than the walking ones. Usually stuff like "can I go for a ride with you?" "Do you have space for me on your bike." "Wanna race?"
I took a leadership class last winter and one of the young college basketball players was very relentless about going out with me. I had to remind him numerous times that I was married with seven children and practically old enough to be his mother, lol. It was a bit flattering, I'll admit.
I'd say going out in your bra as a "top" counts as one:
Very skin baring and mismatched outfits:
In contrast, just because crop tops and miniskirts exist doesn't automatically make them trashy. There are sensible ways to wear clothes:
Obviously, a woman has to have the right body to wear certain outfits. But it is possible to wear a variety of clothes that looks tasteful, feminine and alluring. These are just a few examples of how to pair them together, and no not everyone is going to like the pattern and color combinations but you get what I am illustrating.
What is with that one-sleeved top look? That's awful looking.
I wouldn't wear any of the outfits in this post. I'm definitely somewhere in the middle.
Looking at a woman and then pursuing her for a relationship are two completely different things. The men who pursue women who show a flash aren't going to necessarily pursue women who do NOT show skin because they know they aren't going to get what they want out of them.
Of course religious/conservative whatever men are going to look at scantily clad women. When you're dressed like fresh meat, how can you not look? heck, even *I* look as a woman because I'm shocked people can be so comfortable to show it all out! There's no sense in placing blame on men for looking or staring when a woman is willing to reveal.
Who's blaming? I don't blame the girl dressing in next to nothing even though I technically believe that's what she wants because she has no control over the man's eyes, and I don't blame the man because if it's out there then it's fair game and in most cases probably what the girl wants anyway. I stare when I see someone dressed in too little. In fact, just the other day we were driving down the street and I saw a very overweight woman lift her shirt up to her bra. She then reached down to her shorts and appeared to be pulling them down. In horror, I screamed, "Nooooo! Don't do that!!!" Luckily, she was just readjusting her clothing; and no, she didn't hear me. Windows were up.
Oh, and I HATE when a woman snaps at a man for looking at her when she's wearing very little clothing. I feel like it's some kind of a power move. Dress that way to attract the stares then shoot them down for giving them what they want.
Fewer in number, but roughly the same proportion. Casting a wide net (with your looks) is just that, is it not? You get the same ratio of undesirable guys to high quality guys. Said high quality guy is typically going to be able to discern for himself whether a woman is attractive (either physically or intellectually) in fairly short order. The problem for the frumpily attired woman isn't the high-quality guy, the problem is the rest of the women at the bar/beach/volleyball match who are all trying to attract the same high quality guy and using their physical assets to do it. Interesting conversation and a great personality are much more difficult to get across (3-5 minute conversation) to a potential date than I-look-amazing-in-this-tight-miniskirt (which takes about 2 seconds).
In such a case, I'd say ditch the bar/beach/volleyball area to find guys who aren't just interested in seeing what you look like in a short skirt or a bikini. I mean, if nearly all the women are showcasing their boobs at some point it doesn't seem to appear an different after a while. I have seen "California casual" girls wearing a modest t-shirt and denim shorts attract a man more easily than a woman wearing a short hem-tight dress. The difference? CA girl's face had less makeup, her body language didn't say desperate and she was approachable. Same thing with modestly dressed classy woman wearing a longer skirt versus the woman wearing tight clothes. Longer skirt woman appeared more approachable because she was comfortable in her own skin. I think there's a lot more to it than whether or not you're dressed a certain way, but the way you are dressed can be one part of body language.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarzanman
This depends on the kind of guy that you are trying to attract. You don't have to be anything more than healthy and clean to attract a guy. The difference is that if you aren't trying to pull attention with your looks or body then you actually have to make an effort to either approach the guy or make sure that you get noticed in some other way (joke, intro, etc). Many women have convinced themselves that this type of active approach is less desireable and instead choose to use their looks to attract attention.
If it's attention a woman wants, that's not too hard to get. But if it's a long term relationship, there's got to be more than attention. Any woman who is reasonably attractive can amp it up with a little makeup, a hairstyle, and flattering clothes. Any woman can wear a tight short skirt or a cleavage-baring top. The real question is, what happens when through all this attention a woman can't attract the type of man she's looking for?
Last edited by Vintage_girl; 06-12-2014 at 01:49 PM..
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Sometimes I wonder what it is people want...when they dress more modestly they complain about the lack of attention and when they dress revealing they complain about the attention from the guys they don't like. lol. We can't have it our way all the time.
Revealing Dress
