Women who don't dress revealing and male attention (correction, girl, look)

[Vintage_girl]

Originally Posted by Larkspur123

I agree with Jade's posts on the thread.

I used to spend a lot of time walking and would get cat-called no matter how I was dressed...which most of the time was on the conservative side.

Those men need to be ignored.

[Kitten01]

Originally Posted by simplesunwater

The italicized show the selfish attitude I'm describing...and no...its not like the husband looks.
And the insecurity is not because one does not feel attractive enough.
Its that there are values...insecurity can be because some values are being disrespected.

So now others also have to am up the sexy act?
so sexy is equivalnet to worthy?
and thus sex object is what women want to be?

and so if women start going around like strippers or give lap dances, other women won't feel insecure because a boundary is being breached?
instead THEY must also start doing the same?
Probably why women are getting more and more into dressing provocatively and convincing themselves and others that their sexual appeal or potential is the ONLY main value for them...
and thus deeming sex objectification for women.

who wins? is this really women's liberation? the freedom to go around semi nude and provocative in public with no regards to one's own sense of dignity...desperate to feel good about oneself by showing off some goods
aka...bargaining skin show to feel lovable and worthy?

probably why younger and younger women are dressing provocatively and trying to be sexy and having sex outside a marriage or committed relationship.
Who wins?
men get to see a free show and get a woman to cross boundaries without having to invest much.

and women are even more relegated to being sex objects.

So now women would be doing pole dancing naked in public?
would that be enough to feel ''lovable and worthy''??
and does that make a woman ''liberated'' or more caught up in seeing their self worth involved with a man's lustful attention...which is mostly what a woman who dressed like that gets usually

isnt a woman more than her body?
why not stand for some values?
why not wear a sticker to fight for cancer or fighting hunger?
why really need other's attention and disrupts other people's peace and harmony because one things one got it one will show it and walk semi- naked and not care about public decorum or the effect on children?

You are really taking this thing to a whole new level and completely blowing it out of proportion. Because a woman shows some leg (I am In no way talking about being half naked) or some cleavage does not mean she believes that is all she is worth. Nor does it mean she'll be doing lap dances or dancing on a pole...WTF?!

Your post was so "extra" and assumptions so over the top I don't even know where to begin to address it. Neither I nor any other woman is responsible for another woman's security or lack thereof. Nor is any woman required to uphold the exact same values and to the same degree as anyone else. It is your husband's job to uphold and respect the sanctity of your marriage. If you find him looking a little too long at the cleavage of another woman, that is your problem to address with him. He would be the one disrespecting you, or are you ken who believes a man has no control over his sexual urges and it's up to the women to dress in a way (completely covered) so as not to tempt him? Either way, you need to take that up with your hubby, not the woman who is dressed in a way YOU feel is revealing. And again...revealing to you may be completely different than what revealing means to someone else. Are form fitting, yet not super tight clothes revealing? Is showing even a little cleavage revealing? Is showing more leg than below the knee revealing? See what I mean? There is no general agreement as to what is considered to be "revealing dress" and we'd all have a different opinion as to what that actually means. So should all women dress in burkas just to be on the safe side! Would that make you feel better?

Oh and in case you didn't get the memo, women's lib is about women making their own choice about any and everything regarding their lives. Even if you don't necessarily agree with the choices, if you're truly a feminist, you defend the right for a woman to be able to make that choice for herself.

[HomeIsWhere...]

Originally Posted by jade408

I agree whenever I hear one of those catcalls it is not fun. I don't mind other compliments (from anyone) like you have a great smile, love your outfit, you are stylish etc. Free stuff works too.

I notice here we are making value judgements on the women here based on the women based on their attire, but not on the men based on their words and actions.

Honestly, for me (perhaps, as well as others of both genders) it is certainly not a matter of passing judgment; I have daughters myself so what comes to mind immediately for me is that I feel apprehensive and uncomfortable for them and sometimes, depending on the environment and the prevailing 'pack mentality', I am concerned for their feelings and maybe even their safety.

[WildCard~]

Originally Posted by lurtsman

If a man doesn't respect the ring, hit him with something. Literally. If I see that **** happening I'll call another man out for his poor behavior.

I'm older now and with age you come to realize the only person you have control over is yourself and your own actions, like being faithful, it's my choice to be.Plus I love my hubby ...

[WildCard~]

Originally Posted by Kitten01

You are really taking this thing to a whole new level and completely blowing it out of proportion. Because a woman shows some leg (I am In no way talking about being half naked) or some cleavage does not mean she believes that is all she is worth. Nor does it mean she'll be doing lap dances or dancing on a pole...WTF?!

Your post was so "extra" and assumptions so over the top I don't even know where to begin to address it. Neither I nor any other woman is responsible for another woman's security or lack thereof. Nor is any woman required to uphold the exact same values and to the same degree as anyone else. It is your husband's job to uphold and respect the sanctity of your marriage. If you find him looking a little too long at the cleavage of another woman, that is your problem to address with him. He would be the one disrespecting you, or are you ken who believes a man has no control over his sexual urges and it's up to the women to dress in a way (completely covered) so as not to tempt him? Either way, you need to take that up with your hubby, not the woman who is dressed in a way YOU feel is revealing. And again...revealing to you may be completely different than what revealing means to someone else. Are form fitting, yet not super tight clothes revealing? Is showing even a little cleavage revealing? Is showing more leg than below the knee revealing? See what I mean? There is no general agreement as to what is considered to be "revealing dress" and we'd all have a different opinion as to what that actually means. So should all women dress in burkas just to be on the safe side! Would that make you feel better?

Oh and in case you didn't get the memo, women's lib is about women making their own choice about any and everything regarding their lives. Even if you don't necessarily agree with the choices, if you're truly a feminist, you defend the right for a woman to be able to make that choice for herself.

True! You can't control another behavior, let alone a complete strangers, , it's called trust, either you trust your partner or you don't.. jealousy an ugly thing...

[Vintage_girl]

Originally Posted by WildCard~

True! You can't control another behavior, let alone a complete strangers, , it's called trust, either you trust your partner or you don't.. jealousy an ugly thing...

LOL I have no idea how people are taking this into a completely different slant. All she did was say she feels sexy but dresses tastefully. I guess only skanky-looking women who act sexy are acceptable, lol

[erjunkee]

I'm very conservative in how I dress...Ive never, ever dressed provocatively b/c I hold myself to a certain standard and don't feel comfortable displaying my body in that way.

That being said, it has NEVER deterred men from approaching me. Even at my worst days, when I'm wearing a pair of yoga pants , a ratty t-shirt, and look like I've been run over by a train, the attention still comes.

I think it has to do with my body shape, as well as my demeanor (although I do try to give off an air of unapproachability...but that doesn't change anything...lol).

[WildCard~]

Originally Posted by Vintage_girl

LOL I have no idea how people are taking this into a completely different slant. All she did was say she feels sexy but dresses tastefully. I guess only skanky-looking women who act sexy are acceptable, lol

LOL.. I think I might been misunderstood..My feeling this, I don't care how dress or undress someone is I can only control myself and how I react.. Likewise for men, and to carry it further wheather your partner looks or not really comes down to trust...

[NewJeffCT]

Originally Posted by rh71

Not surprisingly, I'm sure men like their wives to be looked at by other men. "Look what I've got." Ask your hubby how much he wants that to stop.

I've seen a lot of men get jealous over the years if another guy looks at their wife or girlfriend.

[sparklingstars]

Originally Posted by Kitten01

You are really taking this thing to a whole new level and completely blowing it out of proportion. Because a woman shows some leg (I am In no way talking about being half naked) or some cleavage does not mean she believes that is all she is worth. Nor does it mean she'll be doing lap dances or dancing on a pole...WTF?!

Your post was so "extra" and assumptions so over the top I don't even know where to begin to address it. Neither I nor any other woman is responsible for another woman's security or lack thereof. Nor is any woman required to uphold the exact same values and to the same degree as anyone else. It is your husband's job to uphold and respect the sanctity of your marriage. If you find him looking a little too long at the cleavage of another woman, that is your problem to address with him. He would be the one disrespecting you, or are you ken who believes a man has no control over his sexual urges and it's up to the women to dress in a way (completely covered) so as not to tempt him? Either way, you need to take that up with your hubby, not the woman who is dressed in a way YOU feel is revealing. And again...revealing to you may be completely different than what revealing means to someone else. Are form fitting, yet not super tight clothes revealing? Is showing even a little cleavage revealing? Is showing more leg than below the knee revealing? See what I mean? There is no general agreement as to what is considered to be "revealing dress" and we'd all have a different opinion as to what that actually means. So should all women dress in burkas just to be on the safe side! Would that make you feel better?

Oh and in case you didn't get the memo, women's lib is about women making their own choice about any and everything regarding their lives. Even if you don't necessarily agree with the choices, if you're truly a feminist, you defend the right for a woman to be able to make that choice for herself.

OK. OK. Heard. Enough mud-slinging on me or my partner. I have repeatedly stated that its not my partner who looks. He does not. I have no issues with him whatsoever. So you can drop that please.
And the kind of clothing you describe is fine. Upto knee length and all that. You are exaggerating it to say burqa...i never said so

and the kind of clothing described is NOT what women wear ...tiny little shorts...massive cleavage

why bikinis? men wear shorts...but women have to wear bikinis where half the bottom is hanging out?
can't one wear a sports bra and shorts.
I get that each person's standards may be different. But each person KNOWS what body parts are being revealed and how much and whats the intent...is it really out of necessity or to get an ego boost?

I don't have any problem with my hubby. I have problem with women dressed that way. Honestly, I have a low opinion of them. It seems sex is sold like the lowest possible thing. Its not scared anymore...people display body parts as though there is nothing more to them.

And thanks for the memo about feminism. Each person ahs THEIR OWN version of feminism. Some people take it to mean freedom without responsibility...that women should do whatever they want and nobody must question them and that they should not be held accountable for how they conduct themselves in public or take any responsibility.
I would never want my kinds to think its OK to sleep as a teenager or dress like a hooker. Sex is scared and so is the body and women need to uphold their dignity and not be piece of meat to all and any passerby...whatever be the ''standards'' of clothing...there is a common sense and each person knows why the cleavage is being shown and why there is the extra leg (waxed up and shined) to be shown off.

One can debate on a forum...but women have to ask themselves what they want...

and my point with the pole dancing was with response to the ''amp up the sexy'' part of the post earlier..so where will this end? women must compete more and more to amp up their sexuality? like there is nothing else to them? where will this end...with everybody walking around like a stripper?
yes so what are the boundaries?
is it really OK for someone to say they can walk around in a bikini and thats an OK standard for them and someone else may say they want to walk around topless everywhere...even to stores
some people wear pretty much completely see-through clothing in the summers. Thats OK for them.
Hey someone may walk around nude (many are almost semi-nude anyways in the summer..women much more so in an obviously attention-seeking manner...I am sure many have noticed that...its not just the comfort women use the summer time to show off maximum skin in maximum provocative way...men don't go around shirtless to walmart usually but women walk around in barely there shorts and see through netted transparent shirts...I'm not exaggerating and I'm sure people know what I am talking about).

so bikini is OK now...then someone would want to go topless...the stores and streets are filled with overly flashy dressed people...so each person tries to amp up their sexy...so this may only end in strippers all over...where is the cutoff??

don't the liberated women have any sense of responsibility? is it always to blame others or their husbands?
is this a role model to set to children growing up?
isn't there any sense of responsibility?

Thats my opinion. And I'm not posting here anymore.
Women are free too free to bargain their skin show for superficial attention all they want. I believe it caused damage to the society...and creates a negative idea for others...and re-inforces the sex objectification of women.
And eventually those women only get lust, not love or real respect.

One do what one wants, one gets what one seeks...if its lust from strangers and disrespect from others and causes daage to some others, so be it. Freedom eventually meets up with responsibility, whether one like it or not.
Thats all I have to say.