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I don't agree with you. She is basically allowing the people that it should be ok to be seen with less clothes on. You are not.
I prefer to be nude in my home too, but only if I am the only one home. Doesn't make it ok for me to show the world.....
Do you think that if she were not married with children she would not be dressing so modestly, or did she dress the way you do before getting married?
I really don't mean to sound so judgmental of you in these posts, and I am sorry. I just think about it if it were myself.
What kind of people would I attract if I dressed this way? What kind of men would I attract? What would they think of me, and would I be worried that all they wanted me for was my boobs that I was flashing them.
Would I end up having anyone in the long term? Would my relationships all just be sexual in nature, and if they were, who would be at fault? Would I really ever know if I was in a quality relationship or not.
Now I know relationships are not the most important thing in the world, but they are a nice thing to have.
But again, this is coming from someone who was married at age 21 and who has raised 2 children.
I have to agree with this advice. By dressing in a way that is considered skanky or obnoxious my most of our society, what kind of people are you attracting?
Not just in terms of men but other women as well. Women don't want to be around a woman who looks or behaves immodestly because it can make them look that way as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari
Well I don't have shame. I undress in front of him, I just do not dress in front of him. It is just how I was raised. Somehow, I have retained the way I was raised....
Funny, I was raised this way also. I'll walk around naked in front of my boyfriend for hours, even eat fried food naked with no shame whatsoever. But my mother once told me never to let a man see me get dressed because it devalued or degraded me. Not sure which of those words she used but she used something like that..
I don't really get it to be honest but I still throw my clothes on in the bathroom, generally in privacy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick
Well, Pikantari, with all due respect, I think getting married and having kids so early narrowed your life experience.
I like to dress flashy when I'm going out and I do go out quite frequently...but I don't only own low-cut tops. It may come as a surprise to you, but I have sweats, jeans, turtlenecks, etc. in my wardrobe and I do wear them.
Now, of course you see only the pictures of me going out in my albums and on my facebook. Because I'm not having pictures snapped while in a hoodie. Most women don't. And I do love me a good hoodie.
So I get the opportunity to see how people react to me, in a myriad of situations wearing a myriad of things.
I think you attribute magical qualities to clothing...but the truth is, unless what you wear is consistently contextually inappropriate, most normal people with diverse experiences aren't going to think any less of you if they can see cleavage in your tank top.
There are women who have learned to present themselves with their sexuality facing forward in the most modest of clothing, and have shallow and unfulfilling relationships. There are many happily married women who dress in ways that you apparently could never fathom.
I think it's extremely judgemental of you to say getting married early and having children young narrowed her life experiences. I know plenty of women who married young but still go to college, have careers, and lead well-rounded lives.
Being in a serious relationship does not equal living in a cloister.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cushla
I was like you Pikantari but i
was brought up in an age where modesty was everywhere, we really didn't have the pressure to show our bodies to the world to be popular or to get a boyfriend either, many young people today seem to be very narcissistic obsessed with their own image.
I'm a "young person" (23) and I agree. I think narcissism is rampant and almost encouraged of young people today. There are still young, quality people out there but they are a minority. I can't imagine what it must have been like to grow up in a time when women weren't showing their bodies.
I grew up in the Britney Spears era and it was always a battle to find clothing for me as a teen that my mother didn't consider provocative because all of the clothing marketed to teens today is "sexy".
I have to agree with this advice. By dressing in a way that is considered skanky or obnoxious my most of our society, what kind of people are you attracting?
Not just in terms of men but other women as well. Women don't want to be around a woman who looks or behaves immodestly because it can make them look that way as well.
Funny, I was raised this way also. I'll walk around naked in front of my boyfriend for hours, even eat fried food naked with no shame whatsoever. But my mother once told me never to let a man see me get dressed because it devalued or degraded me. Not sure which of those words she used but she used something like that..
I don't really get it to be honest but I still throw my clothes on in the bathroom, generally in privacy.
I think it's extremely judgemental of you to say getting married early and having children young narrowed her life experiences. I know plenty of women who married young but still go to college, have careers, and lead well-rounded lives.
Being in a serious relationship does not equal living in a cloister.
I'm a "young person" (23) and I agree. I think narcissism is rampant and almost encouraged of young people today. There are still young, quality people out there but they are a minority. I can't imagine what it must have been like to grow up in a time when women weren't showing their bodies.
I grew up in the Britney Spears era and it was always a battle to find clothing for me as a teen that my mother didn't consider provocative because all of the clothing marketed to teens today is "sexy".
I have the same problem with my daughter now. She is 16 and trying to find jeans that don't show most of her abdomen is tricky.
Her father and I do not have much in common these days but one thing we do have in common is not wanting our daughter to have to dress like a skank because there is nothing else available to her.
Now I think he would rather she dress like an Amish, and I would just rather she not wear anything that shows what it shouldn't.
I don't mind her having a v neck or a scoop neck but she should not show cleavage. Her midriff should be covered. No low rider jeans.
I do buy her some things that are a little form fitting and they show her shape, but normally her father will not allow her to wear them. She does wear them when she is with me.
My daughter has an hourglass figure with large breasts and butt. She is shaped like I am.
While I know this is much different than most of the other girls are dressing in school, I can say that my daughter dresses in a manner that is very respectful.
This is part of some old Victorian left over from another era where the female body was considered some sort of secret thing. It is very similar to Islamic attitudes about woman and their bodies. In Canada a while back a young feminist fought for the right to go public with her breasts bare...So it is legal in Canada but few woman practice the freedom.. When we see a male walk down the street bare chest it is considered normal..but if a woman were to show her bare chest it is considered an affront to decency...as if the woman is something dirty...This just like in Islam was born in woman hate..that EVE was the great temptress that led to the fall of man...that everything is the woman's fault because man could not resist their physical charm.
The myth that females are evil by nature is not based in logic...If you look at the Adam and Eve story...It is the woman who is first tempted to sin...she offers the apple to Adam...she did not shove it down his throat...HE made the decision to bite....But some how males through religion deflect the blame from them selves on to the woman...This is the great lie and curse on humanity...the lie that females are evil..and responsible...Males must take responsibility for their own actions..
The mammal glands that secret milk to feed babies are not some sort of sexual thing- they are NOT two penises hanging from the woman's breasts...They are made for the infant child- and why they have been deemed horrific projectiles of sin is totally bizarre.
Look at some European and South American beaches...woman are bare breasted....If we were to get use to it...I am sure we would eventually be comfortable with boobs in public---No two pair of breasts are the same- they are so interesting and so beautiful--all shapes and sizes...they are wonderful....I love them...most people do so what is the problem?
I really don't want to see old lady boobs that hang to the knees. I say this as a woman. Not all breasts are beautiful.
Oh geez. I saw a man walking down the street today and he looked to be in his fifties or older and he did not seem overweight by any means, but he was walking along, no shirt on. His boobs were sagging and hanging down, and it just was not a pretty sight.
But I think it is ridiculous that the only way we can view women's breasts is in a specialized way. If we stop promoting certain women's physical attributed as sexy all the time we'd go a long way in fighting inequality for women
I'm a straight woman, so I guess I don't see the great differences. I bartended at an upscale ***** bar and have probably seen over 100 breasts. Again, as an extremely straight woman I just don't get it
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