I got a call from “Steve from Windows Technical Support” (who actually sounded more like Rajneesh from Kolkata) yesterday afternoon. “Steve” informed me that they had been monitoring the reports from my computer these past few weeks, and my computer was badly infected with “wiruses.”
I put on my confused old lady voice and said, “oh, dear, that’s terrible.” “Steve” reassured me that everything would be fine, and he could help me eradicate the “wiruses” right away. From that point, the conversation went something like this:
Me: “oh, thank you so much! Now, which computer is it?”
Steve: “it’s your computer.”
Me: “but there are several computers here, which one is it?”
Steve: “your computer have been sending us a signal that it is infected with many wiruses.”
Me: “but which computer was sending you the signal? You just said one, so it can’t be all of them. Which one is it?”
Steve: “ma’am, it will be the computer you use for the internet.”
Me: “but I use all of them for the internet. Which one has the problem?”
Steve: “ma’am, if you will just be going to your computer I will tell you how to fix the problem.”
Me: “but you still haven’t told me which computer it is. If it’s sending you a signal, you must know which one it is.”
Steve: “it’s the one you are on right now.”
Me: “I’m not on a computer right now, I’m eating supper. Which computer was sending you a signal?”
<pause>
Steve: “ma’am, if you will just be going to your computer…”
Me: “but which one? Why can’t you tell me which one? If it sent you a signal, you must be able to tell from that.”
Steve: “ma’am, we just have the report that your computer is infected with wiruses.”
Me: “well, your report must tell you which computer it is, too.”
Steve: “ma’am, if you will just be going to your computer….”
Me: “but you still haven’t told me which one it is. Are you trying to fool me? Which computer has the problem?”
<pause>
Steve: “it will be the one with Windows 7.”
Me: “but they’re all Windows 7 computers. Which one is it? Why can’t you tell which one it is? I think you’re trying to play a trick on me.”
<pause>
Steve: “never mind, the new report says your computer is fine, good bye.”
<click>
Score!
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