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I'm in college now, and the things I see on the regular that aren't exactly the holiest of acts are sort of the norm as I'm sure you all can imagine on a college campus. A lot of times I wonder, if I had a daughter, would I let her go away to college?
Right now, I would say no without hesitation. It may be very hypocritical and I admit this because you say what about your son, but there is the double standard that although I do not support it, it is harder on girls and I would not want my daughter to succumb to the activities that would earn her a bad reputation. To be honest, I am not shaming these girls, but I am more worried for a girl like that as my daughter or sister for her own safety from judgement.
Since I have been in college, I have heard and seen girls make out with other guys and/or girls, found out about an instance where one girl gave oral sex to the football team as they stood in line and took turns (yes, she consented) and other acts that would have me faint if I were to know.
A lot of these girls are nice ones too, they are friendly but I see so many guys and girls judge the "wild" ones so harshly that I wouldn't ever in a million years want it to be my daughter that the guys say "she gave me head" when she walks by.
No disrespect to you all as adults and I am close to it, but this is a different world now, it is no secret that college is a setting for wild parties and other not too smart decisions and acts but I'm sure you all probably just consider her getting drunk at a party is the most you need to worry about.
What do you think these same "nice girls" would be doing if they weren't in college? Leading prayer groups?
Any "nice girl" who would have oral sex with an entire football team doesn't need to be away at college to be a skank
Last edited by toobusytoday; 03-06-2014 at 03:52 PM..
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"Democracies tend to decline into despotism. (Aristotle)"
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Location: Berwick, Penna.
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45 years ago, when I was an undergrad at Penn State and men outnumbered women by about 5 to 2 there, women under 21 had no choice but to live in the dorms, which were locked at midnight. Sororities had to set up shop in one of the dormitories.
What do you think these same "nice girls" would be doing if they weren't in college? Leading prayer groups?
Any "nice girl" who would have oral sex with an entire football team doesn't need to be away at college to be a skank
True, and she can have oral sex with an entire football team even if she's living at home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2nd trick op;
45 years ago, when I was an undergrad at Penn State and men outnumbered women by about 5 to 2 there, women under 21 had no choice but to live in the dorms, which were locked at midnight. Sororities had to set up shop in one of the dormitories.
Back then, most or all universities had curfews, at least for the women. That' didn't stop sex and unplanned pregnancies from happening.
I'm in college now, and the things I see on the regular that aren't exactly the holiest of acts are sort of the norm as I'm sure you all can imagine on a college campus. A lot of times I wonder, if I had a daughter, would I let her go away to college?
Happily, I don't expect 'the holiest of acts' ... ... from my children.
Quote:
Right now, I would say no without hesitation. It may be very hypocritical and I admit this because you say what about your son, but there is the double standard that although I do not support it, it is harder on girls and I would not want my daughter to succumb to the activities that would earn her a bad reputation. To be honest, I am not shaming these girls, but I am more worried for a girl like that as my daughter or sister for her own safety from judgement.
Since I have been in college, I have heard and seen girls make out with other guys and/or girls, found out about an instance where one girl gave oral sex to the football team as they stood in line and took turns (yes, she consented) and other acts that would have me faint if I were to know.
A few comments.
You've heard about girls making out?
Gee, did they go all the way to second base, Wally?
As for the whole football team, uh-huh... I heard a lot of things in college, too. Even then, I knew many things I heard weren't true. Even if you are insistent on believing this, and I am sure that it has happened before, hopefully you're perceptive enough to realize it is not the norm.
Quote:
A lot of these girls are nice ones too, they are friendly but I see so many guys and girls judge the "wild" ones so harshly that I wouldn't ever in a million years want it to be my daughter that the guys say "she gave me head" when she walks by.
Not really your call, is it?
Look, people of college age are sexual beings. That doesn't mean they'll all have sex, but most will have sex drives and most will want to experience the physical and emotional pleasure of sex. It's natural. And, yes, it's even natural for your daughter.
Quote:
No disrespect to you all as adults and I am close to it, but this is a different world now, it is no secret that college is a setting for wild parties and other not too smart decisions and acts but I'm sure you all probably just consider her getting drunk at a party is the most you need to worry about. It's worse, trains have been ran, oral sex given out openly and all with consent and this could be ours which is scary.
Making out, parties, drinking alcohol, oral sex... and that world is different how, precisely, from the worlds of 10, 20, 30, 40, etc., years ago?
Please.
Anyway, the issue isn't what others are doing, it's what your daughter is doing. When she's an adult, she makes her own decisions. Raise her the best you can, try and understand that she'll grow up, make mistakes, and probably have sex in ways that you don't like.
Most importantly, when she is an adult, treat her like one - not like some incompetent child who can't possibly make her way through a world that really isn't much different from that of generations past, no matter how much you think it 'really is different this time!'.
Note that I do not say any of this from some hypothetical ivory tower, but as a father who will see his daughter go off to college in September 2015, shortly after she turns 19. I know she'll make some mistakes. I know she'll do things I'll be happier not knowing about. I also think she'll make good choices in general and that she'll successfully make a happy life for herself. I respect my daughter, and that means respecting her even when she follows a path that isn't the one I would choose for her.
We have to let our children go. And we have to have the humility and introspection to look past our own fears and biases to understand that we don't necessarily know better than them.
And I think that's enough of this thread led by a new poster who never came back. Lesson learned, teach your children in the direction you wish them to go.
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... from my children.
