How to establish new friendships in Chicago (Havana, Bridgeport: transplants, cliquey)

[marukai]

As the title states,

I'm looking to meet other individuals within Chicago that are also new to the city. I've been in Chicago for 7 months to today and have yet to find others that are open to non natives to Chicago.

I moved to Chicago because my vehicle was totaled in DC January 2023... ugh what a way to start of a new year! I'm a gay male 36 that's lived in most of the NE except NYC.

I'm generally down to earth. I work as a waiter in the Loop. I'm seeking to build a social network with like minded individuals, but am open to meet anyone.

After all,

I'm in the restaurant industry I see people from all walks of life every shift that I work.

I've begun to view Chicago negatively because of the lack of people that I've met at nightlife venues. The gay scene here seems to be very cliquey. DC is very cliquey as well, but most of my friendships were built in my 20s as DC was my party city at 21 with some Baltimore and Philly in the mix. I have the Meetup app, but events within the app seem to be far and few.

[Master Jay]

I agree.

I'm a straight man, and Chicago is a heaven of beautiful, angelic FEMALES!

And of all those lovely ladies, somehow, I'm not married!

I'm GLAD I DON'T LIVE IN CHICAGO, AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK!!!!!!!

...

ahhh, who am I kidding, I'll be there this weekend!

[ChiGuy2.5]

I can't really speak to the gay scene as I am straight, but I did have plenty of friends in Chicago. Here are some recommendations from my experiences:

• Join a sports league (kickball, volleyball, dodgeball, etc)
• Look into any hobbies or clubs you can participate in and join
• Volunteer somewhere. I did Paws Chicago once and meet some friends.

[Blowm3]

That makes sense if you’re just moving to Chicago as people here are more insular than they would like to admit. Very cliquish city with friendships based on neighborhoods and old friend groups. Since you said you are a gay male I’d recommend Boystown, but even for me that place is too superficial and dry. There are lots of gay people in the more northern neighborhoods, and the gay scene there is much better than the designated gay enclave near downtown.

I’m terms of meeting people, the best thing to do is to go out and meet different people. There’s lots of bars you can go to which caters to a wide variety of people. Also, figure out what is happening around your neighborhood, or Chicago in general. It’s known as the city of neighborhoods so make of that what you will.

[Hiruko]

Originally Posted by marukai

As the title states,

I'm looking to meet other individuals within Chicago that are also new to the city. I've been in Chicago for 7 months to today and have yet to find others that are open to non natives to Chicago.

I moved to Chicago because my vehicle was totaled in DC January 2023... ugh what a way to start of a new year! I'm a gay male 36 that's lived in most of the NE except NYC.

I'm generally down to earth. I work as a waiter in the Loop. I'm seeking to build a social network with like minded individuals, but am open to meet anyone.

After all,

I'm in the restaurant industry I see people from all walks of life every shift that I work.

I've begun to view Chicago negatively because of the lack of people that I've met at nightlife venues. The gay scene here seems to be very cliquey. DC is very cliquey as well, but most of my friendships were built in my 20s as DC was my party city at 21 with some Baltimore and Philly in the mix. I have the Meetup app, but events within the app seem to be far and few.

Coming from the Northeast, you are definitely more likely to find Chicago to be more provincial in a corporate setting and more cliquish in a social setting. I am an area native and the vast majority of my social circle are locals. This area is not as transient as other large cities. In my experience, transplants often break in more easily with other transplants. Regardless, as an adult, the vast majority of my strong new connections have come through work, music festivals, and events. You just have to put yourself out there and be approachable. Chicagoans are generally friendly, but socioeconomic and racial stratification are easily perceptible.

[Treeman1]

Just a few thoughts:

Cigar lounges: Biggs is free on the first floor. Red Head Piano Bar's cigar lounge is free. I'm not sure if the Clayton charges a locker fee; it probably does. Blue Havana is crap and I don't believe you can smoke inside anymore. 53rd Street Cigar, I believe, has a $15 minimum but no locker fee. Not sure if the one in Bronzeville is worth your time. And I've never heard of anyone have a bad time at Richards.

Neighborhood bar: find a local spot or two and become a regular. Get friendly with the bartender and you'll start getting to know the regulars in no time.

Join a gym and take classes. Get to know the regulars. Pickle ball seems to be quite the rage too, so if there are leagues or informal play, I'd take a look.

Back to the bar, trivia is pretty popular. I'm not sure exactly how "orphans" get onto teams. Maybe ask the host how that works.

Still bar related, are you a fan of any college or professional sports? If so find a bar that shows the games and start going. Even if you're not a fan, just fake it. Lots of good camraderie at those bars. I think Theory and First Draft are Patriots bars. Might be worth a trip.

Volunteer. Chicagocares.com is an excellent resource. Paws too.

Arts. The visualist.org and chicagogallerynews.com are very comprehensive listings of gallery events. Off the top of my head, Bridgeport has the best events - the Zhou Arts Center and Bridgeport Arts Center on 35th each have dozens of open gallery receptions on the third Friday of the month. Everyone there is pretty congenial. Tons of stuff in West Town too. Pilsen to a degree, though its art scene has massively declined since COVID. Galleries in Wicker and Logan are a bit spread out, not sure it's worth a trip just for that.

Eventbrite.com is a good aggregator. Don't just stick with the free stuff either, there are lot of interesting events that are hard to find elsewhere. Take a look daily at what's available.

Finally and again back to the bar, Brando's is a lot of fun and has a good mix of straight, gay and bi/pan. Timmy O' Tooles (might be a Pats place as well) seems to have a lot of friendly people too.

It takes effort to make friends, but if you keep going out and trying, it will happen.