Do I look like I get approached by women, in Chicago?

[unihills]

Best luck I ever had for being approached was at happy hour in the bar, standing in front of the piano playing "chopsticks" while saluting with a cocktail in each hand and licking my eyebrows. They were lined up three deep.

[NealIRC]

Originally Posted by emathias

The best way to get to know women is the same way you get to know anyone: you start conversations with them. If you go at a woman with intent, you can come across as desperate. So start striking up conversations with all sorts of women, especially women you have no intent of trying to date. Start with a question about something relevant to where you and her are, or what you and her are doing or what she is doing. Yes, it will almost certainly feel really, really awkward at first. But that's why you're starting with people you're not trying to date. Your goal isn't to go to bed with them or even to get a date, it's to learn what sort of conversations you can start that will be self-sustaining. If you'd never been surfing before you wouldn't just climbing a board and try to stand up on a wave. You'd trying standing in shallow water to get a feel for things, you'd paddle into the surf and just body-surf a little to get a feel for the waves. You'd learn to swim really well. THEN you'd combine all those things and try the trickier things, the cooler things, the real goal. But you have to do the practice stuff first. Making conversation with a stranger is part of that practice when it comes to learning how to attract women.

When you say things that kill a conversation, remember that and don't do it next time. When something works, try it next time. Eventually you'll be able to string together multiple things that work into real conversations and then you'll be ready to start striking up conversations with women you actually might want to date. Even when you get that point, do it just to try to talk at first - no goal, no trying for a number, just practicing to be comfortable talking. When you're comfortable doing that, then you can try asking for a number at the end of conversations - some girls will give you their number, some won't, but at least you'll have had a nice conversation.

These are advice on how to approach women.

In fact...

5 Reasons Men Shouldn't Approach Women

1.It's always more creepier for the man to approach the woman than the other way around.

2.Desperation is more of a turn-off in women than in men. So if you are the 1st to approach her, you're showing her you're the "more desperate one."

4b.To not coc-block. The probability favors that ever girl is involved with a group of guys, and by approaching her, you are always coc-blocking.

-If she is Hispanic, this is even worse, as Hispanic men are generally more protective of their women than other men.
-If she is Hispanic, this increases the probability she is involved in gangs, and guys involved in gangs are generally more protective.

4.(Although not always the case) cuz you're a nice guy.

5.(Althought not always the case) cuz you're a real man. (Alpha male.). That is, if women don't approach you, that's their loss, not yours.

[Drover]

Originally Posted by NealIRC

But women won't know that if they never approach me.

There are some things you can detect from 10 miles away.

Originally Posted by emathias

I do, and I'm not obvious so I have to tell women that but since everyone in my life knows that and it's not something I spend a lot of time thinking about I a couple times I've forgetten that I'm not obvious and that not everyone knows I'm gay and end up thinking the invite is just a fun night out until I see the expectant look from the other side of the dinner table and think, "Crap, she planned this as a date." Depending on the woman what happens next, when I come clean, is either a hearty laugh or an annoyed, "Not another one" look of exasperation.

Ah, the hidden pitfalls of being inconspicuously gay...

[NealIRC]

Okay Emathias, now I know why you get approached by women...

Originally Posted by emathias

and that not everyone knows I'm gay and

Straight women go to gay bars and hit on the gay males, blah blah blah, so it's kind of a known fact that women can make moves on gay guys.

(Assuming something visible about you is gay, whether your clothes your style, etc.).

Or, as Drover says, some things people can detect from miles away.

It's true, if 1 wanted to work on getting approached by women, they can start dressing like a gay male.

Originally Posted by unihills

Best luck I ever had for being approached was at happy hour in the bar, standing in front of the piano playing "chopsticks" while saluting with a cocktail in each hand and licking my eyebrows. They were lined up three deep.

So this is an honest post right here.

[Chi-town Native]

Originally Posted by Drover

It's a true wonder why women aren't battling each other to latch onto someone who regards them so warmly.

Let's cut to the chase, and I'm only feeling free to say this because you're asking about your appeal to women: the main reason you're not having much luck with women is because you're bloody frickin' weird. And there may not be anything you can or even should do about that, and hopefully you'll get lucky enough one day to find that one woman out there who finds your particular brand of weirdness endearing.

Based on his affinity for sewers, I would suggest signing up for some spelunking activities.

[PJSaturn]

This thread is off-topic for the Chicago forum. Additionally, in the Relationships forum and also in Fashion & Beauty, "hot or not?" - type threads are not permitted.

.