And it continues...... (Atlanta: homes, neighborhood, school)

[Atlanta_BD]

I just wanted to add that my kid will be 18 in two months. And so far she has not rebelled against me (I do get the teen attitude but no major problems), she's never gotten into any trouble, she does well in school and has not gotten pregnant. Given that she will be legally grown in two months and I have not had these major problems with her that you all are predicting, I think it's safe to say that I've done a good job as a parent.

Now that's she's pretty much grown, any rebelling she wants to do, she can do it on her own because she's now at that age that if she gets crazy with me, I can put her out and there's not a damned thing she can do about it.

My job is done. And I know I've done it well.

[squirrels]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

I'm a black male and I don't sell drugs neither does anyone of my black male friends or family members. Now that I think about it all my black male friends come from 2 parent families or have strong relationship with their fathers. I don't know any statistics that shows black males are the majority of drug dealers. Statistics do show a higher conviction rate of selling drugs compared to their white counter parts.

Drug Offenses: Additional Examples

Looks like blacks account for a large majority of dealers while whites account for the majority of users.

[UICJohn]

All you can do with children is raise them right and hope that he or she will be able to choose wisely when faced with those decisions. My parents raised me to know several things - live within your means despite what you might want; if you want something, you work hard for it; it's easy to know right from wrong but it is much more difficult to do so, etc.

The people that live in these areas and commit these crimes do so because that's how they're raised (a majority, not all). If they have no parents around, they're raised by their friends. If they do have parents around, a lot of them were raised the same way and will do so with their children.

I work in the education field and so many times when there is a problem with the child it's kind of explained with the family. The family is the biggest influence on a child. That's the same with children in all places.

Again, when I say this I do not mean always and there are always the outlier. However, the majority of these cases can be explained in this way.

[ChicagoMeO]

I believe the gang banger thing was the biggest threat to her life.

[nana053]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

Nah. I'm not so strict that I don't let her have a life. We have a balanced relationship. And I'm a she. She also knows the deal. That if she gets pregnant she's out. She will not be allowed to remain in my home. But she says herself that she's not trying to have sex because she doesn't want any children. She doesn't even like being around small children.

One of my friends asked her to babysit once and my daughter was like, "Uh...no." lol

If I'm understanding correctly, you all are saying that I'm so strict on my child that she's going to rebel. So are you saying I should just let her roam the streets and let her do what she wants? How many of you have children?

No one is saying go to the opposite extreme. You need a balance between trusting her, allowing her to have a life and having structure and rules.

She does need to be around the opposite sex to figure out how to build relationships for the future.

[Lorielicious]

Originally Posted by lenniel

Are white teens smarter than black teens?

Just to be clear, this is the idiotic point people are getting at when they continue to make zillions of iterations of this same, exact thread ad naseum.

[Atlanta_BD]

Originally Posted by nana053

No one is saying go to the opposite extreme. You need a balance between trusting her, allowing her to have a life and having structure and rules.

She does need to be around the opposite sex to figure out how to build relationships for the future.

She does have a balance and I do trust her. She does have a life with her own interests that she still wants me to participate in with her, but I let her enjoy herself with her friends as much as possible. I encourage it. I simply don't let her hang out with just anyone, especially when it comes to boys. She does have guy friends that I'm comfortable with, that she's gone places with and I've met their parents. I let her hang with them in groups and long as it's a mixed crowd.

I allowed her to have a boyfriend when she was in middle school, but I made sure I met him and talked to him, and I met his parents. I make sure that I let her know that she can have her own life, but to be mindful of the company she keeps and never to feel like she needs to hide things from me.

My whole point of sharing my experience as a parent is to point out that black single parenthood--particularly black single motherhood--isn't an automatic ticket to failure for all black children as long as there is parental involvement, structure, discipline and rules in a loving household with a stable mother who has values and is actively participates in the child's life. The problem with the kids in Chicago's bad neighborhoods is that because the parents have no values or structure in their own lives, they don't have it to pass on to their children.

People here are speaking as if parents have no control when their kids become teens or if you give them structure or set certain rules, they will automatically rebel and go out and have sex or do crazy things. So far that hasn't been the case with my child. And yes, I do know where she is at all times and I've never had issues with her sneaking off, or not being where she said she would be, and she's almost 18. I have issues with her not cleaning or doing certain tasks when I tell her to. But her misbehaving or doing crazy stuff? Not at all.

[CCrest182]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

Right. It's all on the mother. The fact that the mothers are blamed and little is mentioned to make fathers accountable speaks volumes of the misogyny that poor single mothers are faced with.

Oh god, here we go with the "misogyny" card. I don't hate women, but it's a FACT that the vast majority of criminals are raised in single parents households, more specifically single MOTHER households. Until we can actually address this issue, and stop acting like it's not there, this problem will continue to perpetuate.

The mother is responsible because unless she was raped (which is very unlikely), SHE chose to have sex with a thug who knocked her up, instead of taking responsibility for who she allows to "stick it in and make something". Yes, the men are irresponsible for leaving her, if you think there's no responsibility placed on them, then go watch the Maury show for Christ's sake. It's time to stop avoiding these blatant issues and to put an end to them.

[LeotheOrangeCat]

Originally Posted by ChicagoMeO

I believe the gang banger thing was the biggest threat to her life.

Yeah, per the most recent Tribune article the woman shot on the Dan Ryan was linked with the BD Lamron set. That's what got her killed - not how many kids she had or how much she received in government assistance. Her brother that was murdered previously was BD and she was interviewed at a sidewalk memorial for another. It's a good bet that her male passenger that fled the scene was the target.

[lenniel]

Originally Posted by Lorielicious

Just to be clear, this is the idiotic point people are getting at when they continue to make zillions of iterations of this same, exact thread ad naseum.

No, that's not the point I was making. The point was, if the same number of kids in Lake Forest and Englewood are having sex, why is the teen pregnancy and single motherhood problem so much greater in Englewood?
I was being sarcastic because I don't think white teens are any smarter than black teens. 100% of 16 year olds in LF and 100% of 16 yr olds in Ewood know how you get pregnant. But....the culture is much different on the S or W sides than it is in LF.