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Because, again, men don't make the babies. They can plant the seed and run. Women are the people who ultimately make the decision of whether or not they want to make a baby. Also, men that don't where rubber are imbeciles, you've got my backing on that. And ultimately men can and do get ****ed over with that stuff, have you ever heard of something called family courts???? lol the chick could just give him the finger than go off with some other gangbanger thug, and then the poor sucker before needs to pay for everything, whilst hardly ever seeing the child.
Both parties are responsible, but again, women ultimately are the official people who decide what happens in the end.
And here it is I thought that it took two people and that planting the seed WAS making a baby. I guess I need to take Sex Ed 101.
Getting adolescents and young adults to stop having sex is a losing battle with any culture at any point in history. Thousands of years of evolution have programmed us to have sex, and lots of it.
Better access to education (including sex education), health care (including birth control and abortion), and working to end the cycle of poverty are the answers, not "close your damm (sic) legs."
Or just don't have sex until you can support a baby, have a male mentor and a safe, supporting home. A good percent of what you said is closer to dream land, believe it or not. And yes, "close your d_mn legs" is legit advice.
What kids are you writing about? How many successful Black businessmen and women do you know personally? How many are famous? How many Black families are you actually close to?
I can agree with some of what you are writing but most of it is crazy because you are looking at a community of people who you are not familiar with and passing judgment.
You would probably never meet any of my role models because none of them are famous. I grew up in a neighborhood where I saw the lawyer, engineer, school teacher, mail carrier, business man and many other people on a daily basis who influenced my life. Most of them look like me. Even though I am in my 40's I still go to my dad for finance and spiritual advice. Mentors are important in everyone's life. I get much of my professional advice from a white female who is very successful in my field.
You are identifying roll models for people you don't know. That brings me to my next point. We read about African Americans all the time moving to a new city and they ask questions about the racial climate of a particular city or neighborhood because we realize that community is very important in our quality of life. Especially when children are involved. A major issue for many young "Englewood" residents is there are no positive role models that they are engaging with on a daily basis.
You mentioned names of famous African Americans who you know are successful and saying they should have more influence in young lives. That's impossible. Those are famous people who will never have direct influence with most kids in Englewood. Mentors are coming from within those neighborhoods. The people who influence their lives are the ones who they engage with on a daily basis.
I think you misinterpreted what I wrote. What I was trying to get at is that for a lot of black kids that come from the hood, they aren't trying to become a doctor or lawyer or business person, their goal is to become a rapper or basketball player.
I know a lot of successful black business people. I used to be the only white guy in my sales division for the southside. I used to be the only white guy on my softball team. One of my wife's bridesmaids was black, so yeh, I know a lot of black people I'd call friends/colleagues and whom I'd consider successful.
Are many of them famous? No. But that's not my definition of success.
Give me a break......If you think that's the problem, (I don't believe you do, you're just trying to be funny).
Nevertheless, there is a grain of truth in it. When I was a teenager way back before the dawn of time, we were sexually active. My friends lived on the North Side and the North Shore suburbs. Many of us were on birth control (I went to a free clinic to get mine). I remember whispered discussions about "going to New York" (this was before Roe v. Wade) if a girl's period was late. My point is that these kids came from middle and upper-middle class families, were expected to go to college and teenaged pregnancy was NOT on the agenda. You'd better believe that their parents would send them to New York to take care of the problem.
It's two different cultures. When I was in my early 20's, I took secretarial classes and most of my classmates were black girls from the South and West Sides. They were all my age and they all had kids. I remember them asking me, "You got any kids?" I was like, "Um, no!" These were smart girls who could have made something of their lives (and hopefully some of them did) but because teenage/out-of-wedlock pregnancy was so accepted in their community, it was just a assumed part of life, like going to college was in my world.
I'm not saying it's a racial thing, either. The same thing has happened in England - they have a huge rate of out-of-wedlock births. There were a couple of notorious cases of 12 year old (white) girls giving birth. I guess it has to do with the class system/welfare state. If women feel like they have options, they are less likely to settle for being baby factories. Also, it's modeling. If your mom had you at 16, it increases the odds that you will repeat the pattern.
I know that even as a teenager, it was clear to me that single, teen-age parenthood was a huge responsibility that would severely restrict my options in life. My friends felt the same. Everybody used birth control and nobody was looking to get pregnant. Now I'm old and have my own daughter (in her 20's) and she and her friends are the same. Nobody's looking to get knocked up and if they did, it would be "taken care of".
Nevertheless, there is a grain of truth in it. When I was a teenager way back before the dawn of time, we were sexually active. My friends lived on the North Side and the North Shore suburbs. Many of us were on birth control (I went to a free clinic to get mine). I remember whispered discussions about "going to New York" (this was before Roe v. Wade) if a girl's period was late. My point is that these kids came from middle and upper-middle class families, were expected to go to college and teenaged pregnancy was NOT on the agenda. You'd better believe that their parents would send them to New York to take care of the problem.
It's two different cultures. When I was in my early 20's, I took secretarial classes and most of my classmates were black girls from the South and West Sides. They were all my age and they all had kids. I remember them asking me, "You got any kids?" I was like, "Um, no!" These were smart girls who could have made something of their lives (and hopefully some of them did) but because teenage/out-of-wedlock pregnancy was so accepted in their community, it was just a assumed part of life, like going to college was in my world.
I'm not saying it's a racial thing, either. The same thing has happened in England - they have a huge rate of out-of-wedlock births. There were a couple of notorious cases of 12 year old (white) girls giving birth. I guess it has to do with the class system/welfare state. If women feel like they have options, they are less likely to settle for being baby factories. Also, it's modeling. If your mom had you at 16, it increases the odds that you will repeat the pattern.
I know that even as a teenager, it was clear to me that single, teen-age parenthood was a huge responsibility that would severely restrict my options in life. My friends felt the same. Everybody used birth control and nobody was looking to get pregnant. Now I'm old and have my own daughter (in her 20's) and she and her friends are the same. Nobody's looking to get knocked up and if they did, it would be "taken care of".
"It's two different cultures"
This is the exact statement that very few realize is at the heart of the problem. You seem to sum it up pretty well actually.
Until the black community changes the cultural of acceptance for teen/out of wedlock pregnancy, these problems will continue.
I'm thoroughly convinced that this is the biggest problem. It's not poverty, it's not racism, it's not the weather.....It's the culture of acceptance.
CPD dispatched DOZENS of police officiers, large numbers of SUVs / squadrols, helicopters, police brass and got the situation under control. The fact that this was in the park on the NORTH SIDE has a huge impact.
I have little doubt that if this was inland at a park on the west side or the south side this kind of response would have been too late and their would be people getting zipped into body bags. Instead the cops intervened early enough that the injuries were from tossed rocks / bottles and few rowdy idiots messed up a cruiser.
There are fundamental differences in how CPD responders approach incidents on the north side that helps to prevent violence and sadly the escalation of violence elsewhere is ignored by too many.
You should stop generalizing. Most Black people I know are not having children out of wedlock.
The issue is many African American couples who choose to get married are not having children. Out of the 4 weddings I went to last year none of them are looking to start a family immediately because of student loan debt and future financial uncertainty.
Then you have some Black women who have hooked up and had children out of wedlock and too many times it's multiple children. That's only a small portion of a large community accounting for an overwhelming majority of the births.
When you write about the Black community is like me writing about the White community or the Asian community. Just because I work with someone from the demographic doesn't mean I can make strong generalization. You sound ignorant to Black people who know how things are and in many ways you and people like you sound racist.
Think about your generalization before you make a statement.
You should stop generalizing. Most Black people I know are not having children out of wedlock.
The issue is many African American couples who choose to get married are not having children. Out of the 4 weddings I went to last year none of them are looking to start a family immediately because of student loan debt and future financial uncertainty.
Then you have some Black women who have hooked up and had children out of wedlock and too many times it's multiple children. That's only a small portion of a large community accounting for an overwhelming majority of the births.
When you write about the Black community is like me writing about the White community or the Asian community. Just because I work with someone from the demographic doesn't mean I can make strong generalization. You sound ignorant to Black people who know how things are and in many ways you and people like you sound racist.
Think about your generalization before you make a statement.
Umm....
Look, I understand your point about generalizing and ignorance.
But you're sticking your head in the sand and ignoring the facts - off your own personal experiences.
Look at statistics:
The proportions of nonmarital births vary widely by race and Hispanic origin
In 2012, the percent of nonmarital births for non-Hispanic black (72%) and AIAN mothers (67%) was more than three times that of API mothers (17%) and more than twice that of non-Hispanic white mothers (29%). A little more than half (54%) of births to Hispanic mothers were to unmarried women. These proportions were essentially unchanged from 2011.
This is a real issue. Close to 3/4 of the children being born to black mothers in 2012 was out of wedlock. That is in no way, shape, or form a 'small part of the community'.
Look, I understand your point about generalizing and ignorance.
But you're sticking your head in the sand and ignoring the facts - off your own personal experiences.
Look at statistics:
The proportions of nonmarital births vary widely by race and Hispanic origin
In 2012, the percent of nonmarital births for non-Hispanic black (72%) and AIAN mothers (67%) was more than three times that of API mothers (17%) and more than twice that of non-Hispanic white mothers (29%). A little more than half (54%) of births to Hispanic mothers were to unmarried women. These proportions were essentially unchanged from 2011.
This is a real issue. Close to 3/4 of the children being born to black mothers in 2012 was out of wedlock. That is in no way, shape, or form a 'small part of the community'.
His point is that it's that small part of the community who are having most of the black babies. I also know less than a handful of black women who meet the description of having multiple babies out of wedlock. A great number a black single mothers are divorcees. The black women I do know who have children out of wedlock (and one Puerto Rican friend of mine) only have one child and they all either have college degrees or are in college completing them; and their children are very successful academically. The common theme I hear from the ones who had children out of wedlock said that while they love their children, they were pressured by family to either not give the kids up for adoption or to not get abortions for religious reasons.
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Only the blind won't admit that their a problem with effective policing in some areas...
