How much does it cost to 'mantain' a girlfriend? (Chicago: 2014, buying)

[marothisu]

^ The career driven ones, yes, but not all. There's many different types of people such as the ones with ultra high standards like your friend for every single thing and somehow thinks that she's owed something better than her in life because she has a degree from a real nice school, the ones who want to date a "project", etc. I wish your friend luck, because of her really high standards it may be harder for her to find someone she actually wants to be with long term. If she's not already in her 30s, I hope she realizes this for her own sake - unless she doesn't give a **** about "finding someone."

I think there is a balance though, that a lot of people kind of miss out on. In the end, I think a big part of life is about finding happiness. Just because you have $1 million doesn't mean you're going to be happy and just because you have a degree from Harvard with a 6 figure job doesn't mean you are the **** and an absolutely amazing person. You may be intelligent, but there's more to relationships than how smart you are and how much money you make. And in my opinion, if you base your relationship on stupid statistics like that, the more likely you are to end up unhappy. I totally get the "if he can take care of himself, then he can take care of me" thing, but things like "Oh, well he's 5'11", not 6'1", so no" (happened to me) in the realm of silliness are insane and to me is the mark of someone who doesn't feel as good about themselves as you may think. If I don't think I'm going to be happy with them, then all the money in the world and good looks can't change my denial of them. Been in bad relationships with women that tons of other guys wanted, and it's not worth it. If you are unhappy, you are unhappy. It doesn't usually matter the setting.

At the same time I have my standards too, like everyone else. You have to find a balance and simplicity though. I think that wanting someone who can take care of how they look is fine, but once you get into the things like "Well, he makes $5000/year less than me, so no" type of thing, then I think that's grounds for failure.

[Southern_Guy]

Honestly, I don't think money should keep a girl happy. Obviously it helps, but if a girl doesn't like you when you're not spending money on her, then you gotta move on in my opinion.

[Patrick Bateman]

ONSs are much cheaper.

[8loody]

You can have a great work ethic and accomplish many things in life and still not be intelligent.

[ChicagoMeO]

You could save some money by getting Ripple,, or do what Fred Sanford did and make Champibble - wine with Ripple, you'd have to have watched Sanford and Son on TV though.

[BleedCubbieBlue]

If you have to ask you can't afford one buddy. Go out there and man the hell up and get a girlfriend. If she becomes too expensive for you then you end it and find another.

[stephei2000]

Originally Posted by marothisu

Very true and that gets lost in it for a lot of guys. If you don't already do this and want a "hot" girlfriend who is up on her fashion and what not, there's a 95% chance she'll want you to make an effort too. That's been my experience at least and you're absolutely right in saying that it may add to the costs. It may seem shallow, but more and more women in their 20s and 30s care about how men look and dress in this country. I thought my friend was joking once who said she could never date a guy who didn't have some awareness of this stuff and would literally not date someone if they wore tennis shoes as their normal shoes. Sad, but true.

Who are you guys dating. I could care less if a guy wears tennis shoes compared to other shoes. I mean really! Maybe this is why I can not catch the typical yuppie professional because I could care less about this stuff.

[bler144]

Originally Posted by Vlajos

I think it's closer to $2000/month. The cost to maintain a boyfriend is like $1000/month.

You could maintain a boyfriend for less than that. After you've paid off the PS4, the ongoing expense of Hot Pockets wouldn't be so bad.

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by stephei2000

Who are you guys dating. I could care less if a guy wears tennis shoes compared to other shoes. I mean really! Maybe this is why I can not catch the typical yuppie professional because I could care less about this stuff.

To be fair, I don't like wearing tennis shoes as my normal shoes anyway. But I've only dated one woman who was truly like that. The others wouldn't raise a big fuss about it, but expect you to take care of yourself...at least where it appears that you do.

[sydlee]

a

Originally Posted by marothisu

^ The career driven ones, yes, but not all. There's many different types of people such as the ones with ultra high standards like your friend for every single thing and somehow thinks that she's owed something better than her in life because she has a degree from a real nice school, the ones who want to date a "project", etc. I wish your friend luck, because of her really high standards it may be harder for her to find someone she actually wants to be with long term. If she's not already in her 30s, I hope she realizes this for her own sake - unless she doesn't give a **** about "finding someone."

I think there is a balance though, that a lot of people kind of miss out on. In the end, I think a big part of life is about finding happiness. Just because you have $1 million doesn't mean you're going to be happy and just because you have a degree from Harvard with a 6 figure job doesn't mean you are the **** and an absolutely amazing person. You may be intelligent, but there's more to relationships than how smart you are and how much money you make. And in my opinion, if you base your relationship on stupid statistics like that, the more likely you are to end up unhappy. I totally get the "if he can take care of himself, then he can take care of me" thing, but things like "Oh, well he's 5'11", not 6'1", so no" (happened to me) in the realm of silliness are insane and to me is the mark of someone who doesn't feel as good about themselves as you may think. If I don't think I'm going to be happy with them, then all the money in the world and good looks can't change my denial of them. Been in bad relationships with women that tons of other guys wanted, and it's not worth it. If you are unhappy, you are unhappy. It doesn't usually matter the setting.

At the same time I have my standards too, like everyone else. You have to find a balance and simplicity though. I think that wanting someone who can take care of how they look is fine, but once you get into the things like "Well, he makes $5000/year less than me, so no" type of thing, then I think that's grounds for failure.

Hilarious about the height. Crazy.

My friend wasn't happy her boyfriend made only 55k at the time. (Admittedly, that isn't much to go on in the Silicon Valley, but he had valuable stock options.) She couldn't respect him for that. I don't agree w/her on that. But, I gotta hand it to her for being honest with herself. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't want. Better for her to go after what she wants then try to fool herself that what her man makes doesn't matter. Because if she does that and ends up marrying that poor fellow, she'll just be unhappy, keep trying to change him, and they'll be unhappy.

BTW, both friends are now happily married -- to people who look an awful lot like their ex-boy/girlfriend.

So, I think it's fine if sugar mamas/daddies and trophy girl/boyfriends judge people by their looks and money. As long as people are upfront about their wishes with prospective dates, and don't hurt/mislead anyone/waste their time, what's the harm? They know what they want; they should go after it. And if that means only dating a man or woman who makes at least six figures, a man or woman who "takes care of herself," etc. then more power to them, I say. The rest of us can steer clear of them. LOL