Depressed here (Chicago, Naperville, Lincoln: sale, apartment, rent)

[Junita]

Hey everyone,

Me and my husband moved to Chicago 6 months ago from Central Florida. We rented an apartment downtown and a month ago we bought a house in Naperville cause rent was too high.

I miss Florida so much and I'm so sick of the weather here and it's not even winter yet. It's so depressing to stay in and too cold to go out and do anything, it gets too dark so fast and I miss our families in FL.

I know we can't move anywhere for a while now since we bought a house but I don't know what to do. I miss the hot and humid weather!

[chet everett]

Head to a tanning bed, ideally one at a gym or other warm place. I have buddy that moved up from here from FL and he and his wife swear by the positive effects of getting a little dose of UV. There have even been studies that show that folks prone to the winter related depression known as "seasonal affective disorder" do much better with exposure to arctifcial sunlight.

The theory is our short days and grey weather tend to trigger some kind of hibernation response and the lights do something to help keep your mood from getting like that of a grizzly bear that has spent too ouch time in a cave...

[chirack]

I have to agree with chet. Additionally don’t cope yourself indoors at this time or you will go nuts by March. Early/mid December is what I call winter wonderland weather. Cold enough to be intresting/different/fun but not so cold as to cause you to be in danger of easily losing a finger or earlobe or something. Get in a jackect, maybe a hat and some gloves and GO outdoors when the sun is up. Sure it is too cold to have an outdoor event, but it isn’t too cold to go outdoors for a 20-30 mins and get some sunlight.

[Vasily]

I find using full spectrum light bulbs around the apartment cheers me up in the winter. The lights go on when I get home at night, and when I get up in the morning. I turn them off when I go to work. I also agree with the suggestion for getting out during the day ... my coworkers and I walk to a restaurant for lunch at least three times a week, and I try to get out and about over the weekend. If you dress warmly, the cold won't bother you. You might want on those cold winter weekends to visit the Mitchell Park Observatory in Milwaukee, and the Chicago Botanic Garden, the Lincoln Park Conservatory, and other indoor places where you can be around plants and humidity. I visited the Mitchell Park Observatory in January a couple of winters ago, and it helped me get through the rest of the winter.

You also might want to invest in a SAD lightbox and see if that would help ...

[chitownperson]

Look on the bright side (pun intended), crime in Chicago goes down dramatically during cold season. I always look forward to winter for that exact reason.

There is no cure for your missing family. You just have to deal with seeing them when you can, which will never be the same as actually living near them.

[choroneko]

Hello Juanita. That's just exactly how I felt on my first 2 weeks here in Chicago. I moved from Malaysia last month. And yes, the weather is depressing. I'm not used to dark sky. Sun sets early here during winter. But in summer, sky is bright even until 7pm; according to my cousin.
In my one month here, I've never had a "friend" to hangout with. And it's kinda sad and boring to be in the house all day. I feel your pain

[sfcambridge]

I would stay away from the tanning beds, since they are so bad for your skin and can cause cancer and stuff..

But I do absolutely agree with the importance of light exposure. The full spectrum therapeutic lights are on sale right now at COSTCO for like 30 bucks. Stick it on your desk, keep it on for 1 hour when you get up in the morning or while working early in the day. It will only help.

[JacksonPanther]

I wish I could give you some advice (tanning bed? really? with all we know about skin cancer? what if the OP is dark-skinned Black?) but there's really nothing that will take away those blues.

I always wished that Chicago was on the far west edge of the eastern time zone instead of the far east edge of the central. That would buy the area almost an extra hour of daylight - kind of like Atlanta has. You can learn to partake in cold-weather activities, but no matter what you do it will still be dark at 4:30pm. And wait until Jan/Feb hit and it really gets cold. You think you have cabin fever now! Wait until it's below zero for 5 days straight.

I eventually moved south because my displeasure got worse and worse every year, until I found myself hating September because I knew what was coming.

[chitownperson]

OP, the only way you're going to make it here without years and years of depression is to change your mindset. You may love everything about back home (and I'm sure your depression is magnifying your loves even more), you may hate the winters here, you may hate certain aspects about the city... but in time you will need to find certain things that you like about this place, then you should probably actively search stuff out.

If you hate the cold weather because you can't enjoy the out doors, find indoor activities that you may enjoy. This may sound harsh, but focusing on the negative and wishing you were back it Florida is only going to make your depression worse. Try to fill the "void" with things that make you happy, new things that may make you some new friends...

There are plenty of things I hated about Chicago when I first moved here, and there are still a whole list of things I hate, but rather than turning my life here into one big depressing, bleak, experience, I try to find stuff in Chicago that I actually enjoy. Rather than hating the weather (which I do btw), I look at how it sort of solves a lot of crime issues in the city for a good part of the year (I hate the level of crime here, so the bad weather it a good trade off imo). I hate the ancient and decaying El system here, but I've found Chicago a decent and easy place to drive, since it's a grid system. I've found certain types of food here to be awful compared to my home country, but I focus on the other great eateries they have here...

You have to fill the void with positives and change your expectations (try to do less comparisons between Chicago and Florida) or you are in for a long depressing road.

[chirack]

Originally Posted by choroneko

Hello Juanita. That's just exactly how I felt on my first 2 weeks here in Chicago. I moved from Malaysia last month. And yes, the weather is depressing. I'm not used to dark sky. Sun sets early here during winter. But in summer, sky is bright even until 7pm; according to my cousin.
In my one month here, I've never had a "friend" to hangout with. And it's kinda sad and boring to be in the house all day. I feel your pain

Get out of the house. You won't find a friend to talk to in your house. Cold does not stop socializing. It changes a bit (i.e. more indoor bars rather than outdoor cafe more indoor gym or park district programs less running along the lake). Find something you are interested in and see if there is a meet up group that does it.