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Just wanted to thank you all for your incredibly sweet posts (I've rep'd all that I can right now).
I will always be grateful that I was home in the same room with Quinn when he started going through whatever it was (my vet thinks it was likely a heart attack or something like that), so I could stroke his head and keep saying "It's OK, it's OK." At least he could hear my voice and know that someone who loved him was nearby as he died. (Sorry, can't use the word "passed," to me that is a stupid euphemism. He DIED. I am very sad, but yes, he DIED. He didn't "pass." Pass WHAT? Pass gas?!! Ugh.)
To movintime: oh my friend, we have both been through this and it is excruciatingly painful ... but our beloved animals are in NO pain, nothing. I am an atheist so I do not believe in any sort of magical after-world where everyone is happy ... and I really, really do not mean to offend anyone by this, I just want to say that I am not comforted by those kinds of thoughts because to me they simply are not real. I absolutely DO understand that some people find comfort in these beliefs, but there is no comfort for me in that way, and I am OK with that.
On the other hand, I AM comforted by the thought that I gave Quinn a Fancy Feast treat the day before he died, and he gobbled up his first serving so fast that he got a SECOND serving, and I know he loved that. And I know he KNEW he was loved by me but also by his kitty siblings, with whom he cuddled basically every night (not always the same sibling). Annie, I am sure, has noticed his absence, and I feel very sad about that because she is blind and mostly deaf and has no idea what happened to her buddy Quinn and her buddy Hansel before that (but she definitely knows how much I love her as I tell her that about a million times a day).
Just wanted to thank you all for your incredibly sweet posts (I've rep'd all that I can right now).
I am very sorry to hear about your kitty.
But seeing this thread I wanted to update everyone on my 16 year old cat.
The good news.. I gave him a TON of Gabapentin and I was able to get him in for testing - with relatively good behavior. We are still going back and forth on it but it appears he is hyperthyroid and has chronic renal failure (Stage II). The vet says that it could be worse than that (apparently hyper thyroid can make CRD seem better than it is). And I am still trying to figure it all out.
But I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I do have to put him down. This year.
Here is the thing... he does seem pretty miserable. He sleeps 80% of the day, throws up a lot, and cries at 3:30 in the morning. CRD is going to take his life eventually. And thyroid is difficult to manage, with tons of needed vet visits. He also has Asthma and Arthritis.
Honestly, I have grown tired of all vets. I find them incompetant and rude. My vet gave my cat hyperthyroid meds and it took me one post on a support board to find out the dose was far too high. It is a knock down fight to get my cat's records because they know I will check everything they say... long story short, I have grave doubts they will do anything but torture my cat for their pocketbook and guilt me about it. They are not my "allies" in the care of my cat. For instance I told the vet I might not be able to give my cat the pills they wanted me to.. he prescribed me a 3 month supply of drugs that I am not even sure I will be able to give my cat, and an extreme cost. Of course, he has gone home by the time I come to pick them up but it is that kind of thing. To me they feel like the enemy. And I have had 10 or so vets over the years. My vet has a sign in her office that she reserves the right to kick out anyone who is abusive. I guess it comes up a lot.
Now I am not going to say I love my cat but we aren't "in love" he is merely my roommate. Do I have feelings for him? Yes but other than the food dispenser I don't think he has feelings for me either.
I don't know, I feel like 16 /17 years is a good life and we are needlessly trying to extend it. Now, if he was the love of my life, cat wise, maybe I wouldn't be able to let go. But where he isn't... and he doesn't have a ton of fun anymore...and his life could be an endless series of trips to the vet... it just seems like it is time to end it.
When my cat was 8 and was diagnosed with Asthma.. of course I would do whatever was necessary but, at 16?
One thing that has given me solace these years when a pet dies is that it gives me the opportunity to open my house to another pet who maybe needs me. If my cat lives 16 years or 18 years... is it really going to make a difference ? Other than pain and suffering to the both of us?
And, I did have a cat die on me at home once. And it really really bothered me. I didn't know he was gone (the room was dark) and I went in to give him a kiss and felt his head so light and water every place. That cat had CKD.
16 years is a good life for a cat. And if he's crying and not enjoying his time, then it is coming to an end. You did extend it because your crappy vet wanted to put him down like a year or two ago, so while he wasn't ill, he had more good time. I'm sorry you don't love him more, but you shouldn't feel guilty at his age and in the condition his health is in if you decide to let him go. Just make sure you're with him and the vet is kind - maybe not the vet who doesn't like him, if possible.
And I always have the next cat in mind: what I've learned, what I'll do different and better. I sometimes feel guilty about that, but I think it's normal to have those thoughts.
But seeing this thread I wanted to update everyone on my 16 year old cat.
The good news.. I gave him a TON of Gabapentin and I was able to get him in for testing - with relatively good behavior. We are still going back and forth on it but it appears he is hyperthyroid and has chronic renal failure (Stage II). The vet says that it could be worse than that (apparently hyper thyroid can make CRD seem better than it is). And I am still trying to figure it all out.
But I am slowly coming to the conclusion that I do have to put him down. This year.
Here is the thing... he does seem pretty miserable. He sleeps 80% of the day, throws up a lot, and cries at 3:30 in the morning. CRD is going to take his life eventually. And thyroid is difficult to manage, with tons of needed vet visits. He also has Asthma and Arthritis.
Honestly, I have grown tired of all vets. I find them incompetant and rude. My vet gave my cat hyperthyroid meds and it took me one post on a support board to find out the dose was far too high. It is a knock down fight to get my cat's records because they know I will check everything they say... long story short, I have grave doubts they will do anything but torture my cat for their pocketbook and guilt me about it. They are not my "allies" in the care of my cat. For instance I told the vet I might not be able to give my cat the pills they wanted me to.. he prescribed me a 3 month supply of drugs that I am not even sure I will be able to give my cat, and an extreme cost. Of course, he has gone home by the time I come to pick them up but it is that kind of thing. To me they feel like the enemy. And I have had 10 or so vets over the years. My vet has a sign in her office that she reserves the right to kick out anyone who is abusive. I guess it comes up a lot.
Now I am not going to say I love my cat but we aren't "in love" he is merely my roommate. Do I have feelings for him? Yes but other than the food dispenser I don't think he has feelings for me either.
I don't know, I feel like 16 /17 years is a good life and we are needlessly trying to extend it. Now, if he was the love of my life, cat wise, maybe I wouldn't be able to let go. But where he isn't... and he doesn't have a ton of fun anymore...and his life could be an endless series of trips to the vet... it just seems like it is time to end it.
When my cat was 8 and was diagnosed with Asthma.. of course I would do whatever was necessary but, at 16?
One thing that has given me solace these years when a pet dies is that it gives me the opportunity to open my house to another pet who maybe needs me. If my cat lives 16 years or 18 years... is it really going to make a difference ? Other than pain and suffering to the both of us?
And, I did have a cat die on me at home once. And it really really bothered me. I didn't know he was gone (the room was dark) and I went in to give him a kiss and felt his head so light and water every place. That cat had CKD.
I get it. My cat is 16. She literally saved my life when I got divorced and went through the Great Recession. I find myself thinking more and more of putting her down. She seems miserable and whines a lot in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if she's in pain or if her personality has just completely changed in old age (sure seems so). She's gotten weird with water too. She won't drink it unless she sees you pour it or directly from the faucet. So how do I even travel? I'll be gone for a couple of days this month and have a pet sitter, but I'm worried. Have to leave the faucets dripping.
My vet sucks. Makes me give my cat a sedative to even draw blood. No vet has ever made me do that before. I hate drugging my cat. On the other hand I have to at times because she wakes us up every single night at 3:00am whining.
The big test will be my July vacation. I hope I can enjoy myself. I hope I don't have to take her out of her home and board her. That would be traumatic for sure. I don't even know what to do at this point.
When she does die, I will definitely get another. No doubt about it.
My vet sucks. Makes me give my cat a sedative to even draw blood. No vet has ever made me do that before. I hate drugging my cat. On the other hand I have to at times because she wakes us up every single night at 3:00am whining.
My vet (and I have had several they are all this way) seems like the enemy.
She does everything she can to guilt me when I say I want to put him down. I wanted to do this a few months ago and she informed me she wouldn't do it until I had an exam. (way of blocking me from doing it) Now he has had an exam and has been certified with several conditions that will not get better and she is still not on board. Her diagnosis is usually an over diagnosis -- to push treatments and drugs -- but when I try to use those same diagnosis for Pet Insurance or to justify putting my cat down, she starts minimizing them or will not assist me with the insurance. I am doing an ultrasound on Tuesday that I think will be conclusive, but if it isn't. I believe I have made the decision anyway.
My cat just sleeps (18 hours a day), throws up about every 72 hours, crys at 2:30 am making it so I lose sleep, I have not failed my cat. He had a great life and he is in his 80s in human years.
I do think you are going to be facing the same decision as me.
Quote:
16 years is a good life for a cat. And if he's crying and not enjoying his time, then it is coming to an end. You did extend it because your crappy vet wanted to put him down like a year or two ago, so while he wasn't ill, he had more good time. I'm sorry you don't love him more, but you shouldn't feel guilty at his age and in the condition his health is in if you decide to let him go. Just make sure you're with him and the vet is kind - maybe not the vet who doesn't like him, if possible.
Thank you. Two years ago I decided against it because the records that I got indicated he was ok and his behavior seemed ok to me. And he was much more active. I remember at the start of the pandemic I have photos of him demanding that I stop paying attention to the zoom and come play with him. I don't have those problems any longer. Around the summer of last year things seemed to take a turn for the worse. IMHO there was a major change in him... but I would be ok as long as he wasn't throwing up every 72 hours... even if they can't find the problem... who cares... that is cruel.
I ran into that "finding the problem" thing myself. How much time and money do I want to invest in a diagnosis? How many tests, in some cases very uncomfortable and frightening for the cat, do I want to put them through so I can put a name to why my cat is dying? If your cat is over a certain age and winding down, short of saving them suffering, what difference does it make what the particular exact cause is? Some people, the last vet told me, have a need to know. I told her I know what I need to know, which is that time is running out, and I want her comfortable. No obvious pain, no crying, no extraordinary measures at age 15 - which seemed so young to me to lose her.
I also feel I'm over vets in general, pushing tests and guilt on me and drugs on my pets. Now I use the SPCA for general care. You wait 3 months for an appointment and you take the one they give you and you get 15 minutes. If something big is going on, they know it, they've seen everything. They may send you elsewhere if it's going to be long and expensive. Otherwise, they do an exam, tests only if indicated, give shots, scripts if necessary, trim nails, and kitty is home and over it in no time. You fill the scripts by mail. I never feel guilted if the shots are a while overdue, either. And it costs 1/3 of what the regular vet costs. I'm never going to do anything else for a young and healthy cat.
I also feel I'm over vets in general, pushing tests and guilt on me and drugs on my pets. Now I use the SPCA for general care.
Yes. My cat is constantly over diagnosed at the vet. Over diagnosed with things that are going to require constant payments to the vet. One of the problems is that I think Veterinary practice has changed dramatically in the last 20 years... for the worse. When I had to put my last cat down there was no guilt. They made a quick appointment and were supportive. This time, I have faced a lot of push back. And there is no effort to ever get me in quickly.
They don't provide me with the prescription so I can go and shop around for the drug. They fill the drug at their pharmacy add a 99% mark up and then I am expected to pay for it.
This had made me consider NOT getting anymore pets. The vet is simply not worth it. But I will consider the SPCA in the future.
I actually think perhaps we are being cruel to cats in selling the idea that cats should be living to 20 or so. I think 15/16 (80 for them) should be the expectation. As owner you know when it is time.
Yes. My cat is constantly over diagnosed at the vet. Over diagnosed with things that are going to require constant payments to the vet. One of the problems is that I think Veterinary practice has changed dramatically in the last 20 years... for the worse. When I had to put my last cat down there was no guilt. They made a quick appointment and were supportive. This time, I have faced a lot of push back. And there is no effort to ever get me in quickly.
They don't provide me with the prescription so I can go and shop around for the drug. They fill the drug at their pharmacy add a 99% mark up and then I am expected to pay for it.
This had made me consider NOT getting anymore pets. The vet is simply not worth it. But I will consider the SPCA in the future.
I actually think perhaps we are being cruel to cats in selling the idea that cats should be living to 20 or so. I think 15/16 (80 for them) should be the expectation. As owner you know when it is time.
Very interesting post.
I actually like my vet very much, but by "my vet," I mean the vet that I usually ask to see (and get to see) at the local practice. When I first started going to that office, it was just one vet. She added another, but customers didn't like him at all (which I understood), so she went back to being a solo vet, but then she got sick (cancer) and brought on more vets to help out. She died (of that cancer) a few years ago, and I was very sad because she was the one who helped me through the death of my first kitty, Satay, way back in 2006, and I liked her very much.
As of now I think the practice has four vets with maybe one more on call. I have my favorite (she came in on her day off, a Saturday, back in 2016 to put down Eini when it was clear he was not going to get better, and I will always adore her for that). I like one other vet there very much, but there's one I don't much like (and always ask NOT to get) and another that I don't know at all. But my point is that the practice has grown a lot.
Quinny was my 2nd kitty to die at home, but he was very old (likely 17 or 18), as was the other one back in 2009 or 2010 (Pudgie, whom I adopted as a senior kitty, so I only got to have her for 3-4 years). With the others, I had to make the incredibly difficult decision to just let them go, and I did it ... for Satay in January 2006, then Mabel (Satay's litter mate) in July 2007, then Eini in September 2016 (and that was EXCRUCIATING because he was only 8 and I expected another 10 years with him), then Hansel on October 18, 2021 ( -- he was my heart kitty, along with Satay and Eini, and I don't think I will ever get over losing him).
But I've never really felt pressure from the vet to keep trying new things when there is very little hope of anything working. For example, with Eini, the vet mentioned that an ultrasound might give us more info, but the closest vet who HAD an ultrasound was a couple of hours' drive away, and there was no way I was going to put Eini though that 4-hour round trip when he HATED being in the car even for 5 minutes, and especially when there wasn't really any hope that the ultrasound would point to some miraculous cure for him -- rather, it would likely just confirm that he was doomed. So I didn't do it, and my vet totally understood and supported that decision. And within days, Eini stopped eating (and he LOVED to eat), so I knew it was time, and holy crap, it's been more than 5 years and I'm about to bawl my eyes just thinking about my little baby guy.
I hate losing them ... I am not over losing Hansel (my SO called him my "kitty boyfriend" because we were so bonded) and now I lose Quinny too.
A lot of things are available for animals that weren't before, but they're not necessarily improving their quality of life in the end stages. And because it's there, you feel like you have to "try." Usually it means the vet has to pay for the expensive equipment.
And I did have a good vet that I respected before I had to move here. I don't want to hate vets. He's the one who told me the average lifespan of a cat is 14-16. He didn't discourage me from trying to prolong anything, he told me all the possibilities and the outcomes. The others just seemed to assume that I was going to do everything in their arsenal.
As for the SPCA, they can differ from place to place, so you should look up their services and prices online and ask around. There's a further one I can reach that people claim can get you in sooner if it's a real emergency.
But we're hijacking the thread from aging kitties. We should start another.
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